Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Cried after 3rd driving lesson

26 replies

Gotitok · 20/03/2025 17:07

Done 6 hours so far which I know is still very early days but my first two lessons I did quite well but today I just crumbled. All the things I did really well on the first two lessons were going horribly wrong today. I was doing left and right turns, junctions and I think my head just fell off. I had a completely embarrassing moment at the very start when I couldn’t even remember how to bloody move off. Then even more embarrassing when he had to grab the wheel and I scratched his hand by accident😳 He said I am doing the hard things right but struggling on the easy parts. He didn’t show it but I think I was starting to get on his nerves!

He did say I am good at steering and judgement so I guess it’s not all bad😬

Please tell me I am not alone in experiencing bad driving lessons where you want the ground to swallow you up🫢

OP posts:
Happypeoplearehappy · 20/03/2025 17:09

Go automatic so much easier.

socks1107 · 20/03/2025 17:09

You’re a learner you will have days when it drops off. Just like us experienced drivers do, we have days where it goes to pot! Keep going and soon you’ll see more good lessons than hard

SmallChanges3 · 20/03/2025 17:10

I distinctly remember crying during one of my driving lessons. I was frustrated because I was making silly mistakes.

It's the pressure of learning a new skill while trying to do what you are being told and not trying to kill others on the road or yourselves.

If it makes you feel better, I passed first time - no tears during the test or thereafter the first time. Try and practice with someone else (who is allowed) to get a different experience in the car and build your confidence. My old housemate allowed me to practice in her car. Good luck!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Pashazade · 20/03/2025 17:12

Was this throughout the lesson or in the second hour? Sometimes it’s more than your brain can process, be kind to yourself it’s early days yet!

user1471538275 · 20/03/2025 17:13

I clearly remember those early driving lessons. There are so many skills to learn, so much to check, to do. Your arms do different things to your legs, your head has to be on a spin.

It's just so much learning, so quickly just to move the car safely.

I really hated learning to drive and had to force myself to each lesson, many tears before and afterwards.

I got there (eventually) but I still find driving stressful - but useful.

Keep going! The tears may just be the stress coming out .

Raquelos · 20/03/2025 17:13

Learning to drive is so hard to start off with because there's so much to remember, a lot if it becomes instinctive pretty quickly, but until that happens it does feel overwhelming at times. What I would say is that if you don't have a good rapport with your instructor don't be afraid to try someone else. I really didn't like my first guy and it makes it so much harder when you aren't comfortable.
Keep at it though🙂 it does get easier and the sense of freedom once you can drive is unbeatable!!

Gotitok · 20/03/2025 17:14

@Pashazade I was making the majority of mistakes in the second hour

OP posts:
Gnomegarden32 · 20/03/2025 17:14

This is totally normal! Learning anything new always feels like one step forwards two steps back at times. Driving didn't come naturally to me - it took a few months for me to gain confidence. Your instructor should understand this and be patient.

PrettayGood · 20/03/2025 17:14

Can you practice outside of your lessons with your husband or anyone? Assuming you’re older, I think it’s really hard to learn to drive when you don’t have the confidence of being a teenager.

sisterdaughter · 20/03/2025 17:22

Absolutely I cried during lessons! I think twice. Once was just a bit of a breakdown doing things I’d done ok on before but failing to do them again, and another time on the motorway as I’d never been in charge of a vehicle that fast before and it was just sort of terror. It was just a couple of tears as obviously I knew I had to be safe. I’ll always be a bit of a nervous driver, but funnily enough I absolutely love driving on motorways now. Driving takes practice and one day you’ll be able to drive!

NPET · 20/03/2025 17:24

This may be irrelevant but when I was learning I did FAR better when other women (friends, family) were with me than I did with my male instructor. I think I was embarrassed and expecting him to criticise me as other men & boys did. So pleased I had a female examiner!

CeeJay81 · 20/03/2025 17:25

@Gotitok if you were making most mistakes in 2nd hour, maybe have shorter lessons, it's a lot to concentrate/learn for 2 hours. I'm taking my driving test next week😯 but dropped from 2hr to 1.5hr lessons cause I found it too long.

I struggle with nerves/anxiety, so decided on automatic after struggling with manual . It's so much less to take in. Had many lessons where I wanted to give up and cry, it was like 2 steps forward and 1 step back at times. You get there though.

Scampuss · 20/03/2025 17:27

I may have cried (or at least come close if I didn't actually cry) after every lesson until the penultimate one before my test. Somehow passed first time and exclaimed "you must be joking" to the examiner 😬

Hardest thing I've ever learned. So glad I stuck with it as I love driving now.

CeeJay81 · 20/03/2025 17:27

Also having the right instructor is so important. It had to be someone easy going and patient to deal with me lol.

SueSuddio · 20/03/2025 17:33

OP I feel you.

I cried at the end of one of my early driving lessons.

To make things worse, one night I was chatting to another of my driving instructors pupils who said, 'I've heard about you being a bad driver'.

When I confronted the driving instructor about this comment he was a passive aggressive, nasty arse who told me that if I believed it we were to stop lessons right away. He'd been caught out but turned it on me. Major twat.

Anyway, I got a different instructor and over much much time, I passed first time. Everyone was surprised!

If I can do it so can you.

Lifestooshort71 · 20/03/2025 17:36

Sending a big hug! It will suddenly click and things will get better, little baby steps (and the instructor will have seen a lot worse!!). You've got this! X

UpUpUpU · 20/03/2025 17:42

I HATED learning to drive. I tried at 17 and just couldn’t do it so gave up and tried again about 20.

You will get there and it all starts to become second nature. The key is to practice as much as you can. You got this!

RickiRaccoon · 20/03/2025 17:47

I remember driving lessons as being so stressful. I hated them. And you do have off-days where you're just not in the best head space for it. But they get easier.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 20/03/2025 17:51

It's completely normal to have off days when learning a new skill. I cried so many times when learning to drive.

Gotitok · 20/03/2025 18:15

Thanks so much everyone, feeling much better now🙏🏼

OP posts:
Summergarden · 20/03/2025 18:34

Oh OP, I leaned to drive over 20 years ago aged 22 and still say it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Also cried a few times from frustration and even cried once during a test (of which I took 4!).

But please do stick at it though, I’m so glad I did and driving feels so automatic these days, I barely need to think about what I’m doing. The same thing will happen to you.

strawberrysea · 20/03/2025 18:51

I was in tears after my third lesson. I just hated it so much. I’m doing automatic lessons now and actively look forward to them.

yogpot · 20/03/2025 19:03

I found learning to drive 100 times harder than my masters degree and it took me twice as long to boot. I started at 17, had my very first panic attack during my first test at 17 and then didn’t get behind the wheel until I was THIRTY. Finally passed at 34 (with long breaks for Covid lockdowns and giving birth to a human) on my third test.

It’s the absolute pits, I thought I would never ever be able to drive and I don’t even think about driving now - just keep going. You can do it, I promise.

CosyAutumn · 20/03/2025 21:29

I think my driving instructor cried on or about my third lesson! Learning to drive and teaching people to learn how to drive is hugely stressful. I will not be able to help my child learn to drive - I’m leaving it to the professionals.

Myhouseismyprison · 20/03/2025 22:03

Instructor here.

This is totally normal. Don’t forget, the first couple of lessons, your DI is taking all of the responsibility. You may not realise that but even the way you are prompted to move off in your first lot of lessons means you don’t have to think it through. If you struggled today, it’s probably because your DI stopped prompting. By the third lesson, I would expect you to be taking some of the responsibility and this is where the mistakes will happen. Then panic sets in and more mistakes happen.

It is all totally normal, your DI will know the drill and won’t be giving it a second thought.