Regular poster, name changed. This could be a long one!
I have a DH and two DS’s, 3 and 7. 2 years ago I found out DH was getting happy endings from sex workers. I was devastated obviously but have tried to work through it and rebuild. It’s reached a point now where although I’m not angry at DH any more, I feel nothing. He tries to tell me about his life, his day, his friends, and I just do not care. He could leave tomorrow and I wouldn’t care, I’d only worry about the effect it’d have on the kids.
I feel like I’m either at a real crossroads in life and something big needs to change, or I’m depressed. I can’t decide whether to throw myself into the relationship with DH and really try (couples therapist etc.) or accept it’s over and move on. I never wanted my kids to have divorced parents (no one does, I know) and part of me feels like I should stay for them. We rub along just fine but there is no love there any more. I don’t know if I’m just depressed and could get it back by working on myself and the relationship.
Life is otherwise good. I have amazing friends and am close with my parents. I enjoy my job and have a good work/life balance. I just feel so low and sad all the time.
I truly don’t know what to do. People will undoubtedly say I should have LTB 2 years ago. I know this, but I didn’t, I chose to stay and fight for my family unit and I can’t undo that now.