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LTB or am I just depressed?

2 replies

User048261940582 · 20/03/2025 14:37

Regular poster, name changed. This could be a long one!

I have a DH and two DS’s, 3 and 7. 2 years ago I found out DH was getting happy endings from sex workers. I was devastated obviously but have tried to work through it and rebuild. It’s reached a point now where although I’m not angry at DH any more, I feel nothing. He tries to tell me about his life, his day, his friends, and I just do not care. He could leave tomorrow and I wouldn’t care, I’d only worry about the effect it’d have on the kids.

I feel like I’m either at a real crossroads in life and something big needs to change, or I’m depressed. I can’t decide whether to throw myself into the relationship with DH and really try (couples therapist etc.) or accept it’s over and move on. I never wanted my kids to have divorced parents (no one does, I know) and part of me feels like I should stay for them. We rub along just fine but there is no love there any more. I don’t know if I’m just depressed and could get it back by working on myself and the relationship.

Life is otherwise good. I have amazing friends and am close with my parents. I enjoy my job and have a good work/life balance. I just feel so low and sad all the time.

I truly don’t know what to do. People will undoubtedly say I should have LTB 2 years ago. I know this, but I didn’t, I chose to stay and fight for my family unit and I can’t undo that now.

OP posts:
baffledpuzzledandconfused · 20/03/2025 15:50

I think the first step is to get some therapy for yourself. They should be able to help you work your feelings out

Everintroverte · 20/03/2025 15:57

That's a really difficult situation to be in.

Do you want to be with him? What do you get from the relationship? You say there is no love there from you anymore, can you realistically see that coming back?
Did he ever say why he did it? Have you spoken to him about how you feel?

For what it's worth I don't think I would be able to be in a relationship with someone who had been using sex workers. I would be disgusted with them, and feel so betrayed, I wouldnt want them anywhere near me.

Life is too short to be unhappy. From what you say his behaviour has impacted the relationship, and you, in a significant way.

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