Healthy BMI but all I see is a fat person

[WhenSunnyGetsBlue]

I am heavier than I have ever been after having DD. I have a healthy BMI (61kg and 165cm). I have a waist height ratio of 0.41.

Despite this all I see is a fat person in the mirror. One of my breasts literally comes down past my belly button without a bra (the joy of breastfeeding!). My arms and back and thighs just see podgy. I eat healthily (a bit too much, nothing crazy) and exercise regularly. I walk 20k steps a day.

I don't know whether I have a distorted view of myself or whether I am actually fat. I don't trust BMI at all.

Summer is coming and I can't leave the house with just a t-shirt on because I'm too self conscious! 😂

Please be honest.
Yabu - you're not fat, chill
Yanbu - you should lose weight

This is the photo I referenced: www.ainyfit.co.uk/same-weight-different-body-composition

This!! I have a short body, currently huge (different sized boobs because of breastfeeding) a small waist in comparison to the rest of my body. I'm also 10 kg heavier than before pregnancy. It's not body dismorphia so much as not recognising myself at this weight.

I don't understand how my BMI can be in the normal range because really it feels unhealthy! Every body is different I suppose.

I've only ever managed to build lean muscle (think long distance runner build as opposed to sprinter).

I definitely look chubby! People said breastfeeding helps you loose weight,I've found the opposite to be true. I feel blessed that I was able to breastfeed but I cannot wait to get my body back now. It's not fun anymore 😅

I disagree. There are many different definitions of the word fat. Having excess fatty tissue and noticing that about yourself, is not body dysmorphia.

Beyond that, having a healthy BMI does not mean you have low levels of body fat - BMI is merely a general tool based upon height and weight. It cannot determine what is fatty tissue or muscle mass from those metrics. It’s totally possible to have a healthy BMI and high levels of visceral fat for example. BMI simply cannot decipher fat distribution or body composition.

Im similar to you. Same height and used to be 50kg. Gained lots of weight during pregnancy and ended up on 67kg for about a year. Went on a full on diet to get back to 50 and i held that weight for several years, but honestly it wasnt worth it. I was always hungry, could never have a cheat day.
At 60kg i just see a fat blob and i really liked my self better slimmer, but my body and I now settled on a healthy 55-57, that way i think I look pretty good and I can still enjoy life 😄

Also like pp mentioned, exercise is key. The photo above shows how important it is to tone up.

@LoveMySushi ( great name) I'm impressed you got back down to 50kg. Same thing happened to me, I put on 20kg during pregnancy. I've lost half of it without really doing much. I've been reluctant to hard diet because

1. I'm tired, always hungry and hormones are everywhere
2. I didn't want to miss my daughters first year obsessing over calories
3. I hate dieting.

Now time to stop the excuses.

55kg is a great goal. Sounds like you've got a nice balance

Yea it took me about 1.5 years to get back down. And i was hungry every day. Then i held it steady for ~ 5 years, also always hungry! Then I started slacking 😄 but yea i can really see a difference when i exercise a lot. 60kg toned is very different from 60kg laying on the couch all day.

@Ficklebricks , sorry what does BDD mean?

Sure why shouldn't one say that someone is correct height/weight but if not happy with shape go find some sort of exercise?

You know not everyone is happy with body shape and some would like to change it. I have sagging skin ( Im old ) Ive a wobbly belly. but Im as fit as a fiddle and to change body shape is more then I can personally cope with. But for others? Why should they not be advised that diet is not going to change a thing and some exercise will help?

Christ this thread is just pure pro ana. Perfectly healthy weight women (who know they’re healthy but are just seeking validation online) posting their perfectly healthy weights and heights online. No wonder people talk about Mumsnet going to the dogs. Disgusting.

Okay, I'll bite. It's not just a question of healthy weight. As we get older, our muscle strength and bone density deteriorate - unless we eat a healthy diet and do some form of resistance training.

Bone deterioration can lead to osteopenia and ultimately osteoporosis. Which can result in serious falls. Some women, too many in the past, die of it.

Lack of fitness in middle to old age is usually associated with inactivity and lack of mobility, which in turn leads to poor quality of life. There are so many symptoms and conditions that many older people suffer from are the result of poor diet, overweight and inactivity.

The motivation to get rid of wobbly bits may be driven by a desire to 'look good' but it'll bring huge benefits as we age. I am talking as a woman in my 70s who works out most days: weight training, cardio and yoga. I play tennis, hike, ski, ice skate, swim, cycle. I couldn't do this if I neglected my health and fitness. And I'm quite slim and toned, which is a lovely side effect.

Don't be so fucking ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be fitter and stronger and adopting healthy eating habits.

Definitely not a pro ana thread 😂 it's just being realistic. I am 10kg heavier than pre pregnancy (also a healthy BMI). No one has glorified being underweight at all.

I run with the pushchair most days (150miles per month). 20k steps, I do some weights at home (inconsistently), plus I'm carrying and chasing a toddler around and dancing over enthusiastically to kids songs.

I am not sedentary, my issue is very much diet related plus the complication of hormones (which has changed where I store fat) and underlying health conditions (I have lupus). I think it's terrible that it's okay for people to talk about being overweight and obese and 'healthy' but it's not okay to talk about losing weight within the healthy range.

I used to go by clothes sizes but that's getting harder to do because of vanity sizing and the fact there is so much variation. Example, I have a pair size 8 jeans that are to loose, size 14 underwear (Primark), size 10 in most things, XS leggings, M shorts, S hoodie, M t shirts. It's just so random.

You are being incredibly dismissive of OP’s concerns. For example, the first thing she describes: One of my breasts literally comes down past my belly button without a bra

That is a valid concern which you are attributing to being “pro ana”. It’s completely normal to be unhappy about how your body changes post-pregnancy. That is not anorexia.

Beyond that, not a single person here has said that OP is dangerously overweight, rather that her appearance could potentially improve with toning up and exercising.

What is “pro ana” about going to the gym? Being a healthy weight doesn’t mean you are fit after all.

Not a single person here has advocated for vomiting or starvation. The only one being disgusting here, is you. OP posted for support yet here you are ranting about “going to the dogs”. You clearly have your own stigma and issues attached to weight @grapesstrawberriespleass, but there’s no need to project it onto others.

I have HAD an eating disorder. None of this thread is anything to do with your 'pro ana' agenda. It's about eating RIGHT and accommodating how it feels to have your body shape change after pregnancy. You can be a perfectly healthy BMI and chronically, health-impactingly unfit.

@WhenSunnyGetsBlue Get yourself measured for a good bra, it will help enormously how you look in clothes. And don't panic, your body will have changed and it takes time to work its way back!

But the OP is talking about her appearance, not on improving her fitness levels.

I would gently suggest that someone who is a normal, healthy BMI and is so upset about the way their body looks that they post on a forum asking advice on how to lose weight, despite being very active and having young children, that they do have, let’s say, a somewhat problematic relationship with food and body image.

OP needs advice on that, not on losing more weight, because there obviously are other issues at play here.

But if you’re running 150 miles 😳a month surely the extra 10kg is amazing muscle ….

you’ve literally built this incredible body, of course it’s going to be heavier. Your body sounds amazing.

Thanks. Unfortunately not though. My legs aren't too bad to be fair, its the top half that is pathetic. Zero muscle on my arms (I have always struggled to build arm muscle, even with a proper workout routine?)

It’ll be the treats, if I have them too much I can’t see changes either. I have to be really healthy plus weights plus cardio. It fucking sucks 😂

I'm just not willing to do that, I would love to be that kind of person who can resist a glass of wine, some chocolate or a piece of cake but I'm not.

Just have to keep going, keep my calories a sensible level, keep lifting heavy and training for my races. If after marathon training I look no different eating at maintenance and keeping my lifting going then I never will.

You run 5 miles a day AND walk 20k steps (another 10 miles or so)?

Definitely possible, I was covering 20 miles a week running until recently and I'm right at the beginning of my training.

I easily hit 20K steps during the week when I walk the kids to school and I'm at work, especially on a busy shift.

i have one rest day, but yes there or there abouts. Today I only did 18k steps after my run but that's unusual. If it's absolutely chucking it down I may only do 15k steps but I still get out. I'm a weirdo, I know. I can't not go for a walk - it's the only downtime i get. I did 18k steps the day i went into labour.

I’m mostly impressed you have the time.
You must be very fit. As others have said it’s about finding exercises to improve your upper body. And maybe looking at what you’re eating.
Go easy on yourself though, it can take a while when you’ve had a baby.