Lost my love of reading after the death of mum

[Introducingme]

For over 60 years I was never without a book or my kindle.
Since mum died in September 2023 I haven't read a book
that I can get into. Start a new one then after a few pages
give up.
Mum and I used to chat about the books we had read.
She liked anything to do with living through the war or
something like Catherine Cookson books.
I'm more mysteries, ancient times or as mum used to say
weird ones.
As anyone else been struggling to get into a good book.

This post could have been written by me! I used to read 1/2 books a week and, when on holiday, would read a book a day. Now, I take two books away on holiday and am lucky to get through one of them. I cannot get into the rhythm I used to, and it's been four years this year. I am getting better, but sadly think it is part of the grief that I need to work through. It feels like after dealing with real trauma, your brain just does not want to receive the drama even though it is not real.

I understand this feeling very well I prescribe some PG Wodehouse.

his books are my ‘go to’ when I can’t concentrate on anything else. They are light, silly, and frivolous but so well written and very funny.

Read an old favourite, children's fiction or some fluff and don't worry, it will come back. I hated everything I read for some time after bereavement but films were worse, slightest hint of tragic animal death and I would howl like a timber wolf. Be kind to yourself.

This happened to me after my dad died and I think it took about 2 years for me to get back into reading. It's really tough.

I'm the same since losing my son in 2020.

I've tried magazines but can't concentrate on them either.

Even tv programmes, i record anything i want to watch and a half.hour programme can take over an hour to get through. Watch a bit, pause, make coffee, go back to it for a while, repeat!

I just can't seem to concentrate for any length of time.

I think this can happen. I still remember the exact sentence I was reading in a novel when my granddad died, and it coloured my reading of it since, even though it's one I read often.

I would go back, very gently, to something familiar and beloved, that you don't associate with your mother at all, because it wouldn't have been her thing.

Or it might help to have another context in which to discuss your reading -- a book group? or join one of the main reading threads on Mn where people log their reading, and/or discuss books?

Thank you for your replies.
I thought I'd mourned for her at the time.
This is the hardest part as it was something
we shared together.
She was the last of her generation in the family.

I’m so glad you asked this as I too have been the same and I had never linked it to anything.

This was me for a long time. Even if I started something and enjoyed it, I’d think Mum’s not going to be able to enjoy it and give up. That and the physical exhaustion that comes with grief meant I couldn’t concentrate either.

I started reading the odd short story, then reread familiar children’s books. The nostalgia helped as I plugged through the chalet school!

It did take a while, it’s nineteen years on for me ( with other losses since ), and it’s probably only been the last few years I really got into reading novels again. I do really enjoy it though, which took a long time.

I’m exactly the same OP. Someone suggested I re read old favourites so when my mind wonders off I don’t lose track of the plot, and I did re read a few. I still can’t get in to a new one though.
Its been 5 years

I have a goal to read 20 pages a day of whichever book I am reading.

That way it is manageable and you reach the end of the book eventually.

Some days I do skip of course. Human nature.

Yes I know exactly what you mean. It has been really hard thinking about the books she didn't read.

I have managed a couple of books, mainly because I want to keep her reading group going. It was something we'd done together for years and I would miss the friendship group too much to let it fold.

This happened to me when my sister died and it’s been 17 years. I keep buying new books I really want to read and never finishing them. I also used to love to lay in bed and just think about anything and everything but I can’t do that anymore either, it’s like I need a constant distraction