Called the police on my neighbours about an hr ago

[Itsdaftasabrushwithnohandle]

They're a couple. Semi-their bedroom wall is against mine. Could hear them arguing then one of them knocked very sharply on the adjoinig wall to mine. Of course they don't know the layout of my bedroom or indeed house but I'm in bed and it was right next to my head. I know their layout as I was friends with the previous owner and had been in every room in his house.

They continued to argue and I was indecisive but then thought no, if she's in danger and did that he's going to become more irate probably.

So I dialled.

Now worried about facing them. Of course they'll know It's me!

Police have been and gone. When they arrived they went to the wrong house- I heard a gate go and concerned neighbours don't have a gate! So I got up and directed the police to the correct house.

Just hope I've done the right thing.

You’ve done the right thing. Could’ve been anyone who called, people walk their dogs at all times. There was once a massive argument next door and as I was about to call the police I looked out the window and a dog walker was doing it. I still called as well.

Carry on about your day as if nothing has happened, act normal. They may guess it is you, but you don’t have to reveal it.

I was in a similar situation hearing DV through the wall. I didn't report it as it was the woman who was violent and her DH was in the police force and I didn't want to create problems at work for him.

It is a horrible situation to be in as you are never sure if you should report or not. If they ask if it was you I would plead ignorance of what they are talking about as you don't want them to unite on a common purpose and blame you when all you were doing was trying to help.

Its not about you but them, you felt you needed to call the police so you did now move on, I know a lot of posters make situations about them please for your sake dont', just get on with your life

youndidntje right thing. don’t act funny around them and they won’t necessarily know it was you. and even if they think it was you they should be embarrassed and get help, not you. you absolutely did the right thing

Do you mean that you thought she might be sending a signal to you by knocking on the wall to prompt you to call for help?

funny . There’s just been a thread where it was the MIL that called the cops on her Son and Dil because she heard them arguing , but it was the Dil that was doing all the yelling , the most disgusting , vile , putrid language that you can call someone. Abusive language. There is history on her behaviour witnessed by MIL also .But the poor mother got vilified by alot of posters for her interference. Can’t figure out mumsnet people sometimes. I guess as long as you were not the MIL it’s ok . 🤷🏻‍♀️. Anyway , I think in your situation it’s a difficult position to have to be in and decide .

@Tourmalines I hear you. But the difference here is OP doesn’t know these people, whereas the MIL could’ve knocked and spoken to her family members and conducted her own welfare check.

Don’t want to hijack this thread but I agree with the MIL in her situation .

Yes. It was a very sharp, loud knock. She was crying when I went outside to redirect the police (I could hear her).

So sorry, i fell asleep shortly after posting the thread.

Thank you. It's true, I did ask the police to not reveal my identity but I don't trust them not to realy.

I won't make it about me, as others have said if I see them I'll act normal.
They're fairly new here. I've never spoken to her, he says hello to me if I see him but I've not seen much of her other than if I happen to be outside when they're leaving the house.

He knocked on my door a few weeks ago to tell me I'd left my car light on. Very smiley and friendly. Which I know means nothing.

I thought about it at the time and couldn't figure what else she could've possibly wanted than for me to get help.
Of course it could've been him! Not her, but I don't think so. He was still shouting when I heard the knock and fromwhat I could hear, sounded to be further away from the wall. Plus, statistics...

That's a very difficult one.
I've worked for the police while also being a victim of domestic violence, about ten years ago and in that situation I think you did the right thing. But I feel like it is unfortunate that it's the right thing.

A neighbour kept calling the police when another neighbour was going through similar. They had to kick the door down multiple times and there was a baby in the house.
If it’s bad enough to concern anyone then it’s the right choice.

Why would you not be upfront about it?!

'Yes I called the police because the screaming and yelling and banging on my wall at x hour was unacceptable.'

If she was to directly speak to me about it I may well be upfront. But not because knocking on my wall was 'unacceptable'! Wtf?!

It's perfectly acceptable for her to ask another woman for help if she's in danger and I'd tell her the same. I'd hope someone would do the same for me.

If he speaks to me about it I will say I heard a lot of screaming and shouting and was worried. That's all.

That may not be the most sensible thing to say to a violent man.

True! If they confront/ask me, I want to be truthful (now, having slept on it) but maybe not a great idea.

You did the right thing.

i remember coming back to my house having been away a couple years having fled dv and a nasty court battle to protect my children that I lost. Abusive ex has contact with the kids he hurt and I left to protect. I had no proof however so lost in court. When I was moving back in my neighbour said oh thank goodness he’s not with you I used to really worry for you hearing him shouting and screaming and throwing things about. If that neighbour had called the police i could have protected my children. Had the same from a friend at church she said she could tell I was being controlled and he was a nasty man- but she never spoke to me and let me get brainwashed into thinking I have to make my marriage work. Alway always phone the police, if possible tell the woman she’s being treated badly as she really may not have realised! many women stay because they know they won’t be able to protect the children without proof and these men are so cunning and manipulative

There is no need to say it was you. At all. Unless you feel the need. I would carry on about my day, acting normal. If asked by him, i would be wary.

i heard a lot of banging about this morning and her screaming 'What are you doing?!!' More than once. I didn't call this morning as it didn't sound quite as heated, stopped rapidly, and no knock. Not sure if I should go on 101online and put it in. As it isn't ongoing, they probably won't attend but will be mindful.

Your neighbour is clearly an adult not a kid (not sure if the family have children?) but if Sara Shariff’s neighbours had called the police, she might be alive today.

You definitely did the right thing, we called a few years ago when we heard a violent barny in flat upstairs, they arrested the boyfriend and poor neighbour was in a terrible state the next day, thankfully he didn’t come back.

I always think if the worst happens what would be the best thing to do.

I tend toward that too. It's better to call and it be nothing, than the other way around. In such quick succession-I've never heard them argue before but then I may have just been out/asleep when things have occurred before.

I take other factors into account, too-he's friendly whereas she's never even said hello to me, for example. And she seldom seems to leave the house-alone, these factors mean nothing but combined with the arguing, they could be corroborative.

We had to call the police about our neighbours a few years ago, and they told the neighbour that the report was from a random nocturnal dog walker who'd heard the screaming and shouting.

I know this because the neighbour actually told someone else, who told me.

Okay it was a random dog-walker then, I'll stick to that unless anything changes
I do know the police do sometimes divulge despite being told not to.

I will be vigilant for listening now too, concerned in case she's in any danger (yes I know it could be her abusing him but being realistic, it is unlikely).