Am i being unreasonable

[Rella1]

Hi. My partner says im being unreasonable and selfish. That im not comsdiering his childrens feelings.

Im due to have a baby.
Hes having paternity leave that i dont mind. The thing i do mind is him saying he will fetch his children round for the whole of the 2 week. 2 children. Who already have siblings.

Where as i have 2 children that will have to adjust to there home life when the new baby comes. I said they could come but i didnt want a constant 2 weeks of 5 children. Me having to rest with a newborn amd bond. And settle my other 2 children while theres another 2 children around who were not birthed from me.

Am i being selfish by saying i dont want them there for a full 2 week?

So you want your children to adapt to their new sibling, but his children don’t get the same opportunity? Is he not the father?

How much time do his children normally spend with you? I think it’s mad to add in two extra kids when you’ve got a newborn, but they do need to be included in the new family dynamic in a way that feels as ‘normal’ as possible

You need time to acclimate to your new baby. I wouldn’t want outside company. When you’re feeling up to it then they can come over. This is about letting you get your strength back after childbirth.

Bloody hell, too many kids in total.

His children and your children are both in exactly the same position of having a new sibling arriving. I can see how he wants to ensure his children feel included in the arrival of their new sibling, just as yours will.
However, he will need to be looking after all 4 of them while you are with the baby. Yes they should feel just as included, but it will be a very full house - are you all used to that? Without you to help? That’s what I’d talk with him about. Anyone else who can come to help with the kids, or who they could go to?

Iv told him his children can come but not for the whole 2 weeks paternity leave. I see his children once every 2 weeks. As we both have busy lives and live in seperate households.

I believe the children yes they should spend time with their other sibling. The children at home only have each other. Where as my partners children already have other siblings and do not live with me.

Together you have 5 children. You might not have birthed them but as long as you are with their father they should be part of your family.

Maybe should have thought of that before having another kid with this man then. What if he gets custody of them full time, they would all have to live together.

@Rella1 I think you are being unreasonable for sure.

If you live separately, can he stay at his house with his kids and visit?
How old are they? Don’t they have school?

Seems unfair that only 1 set of children are allowed to stay with their new sibling.

It’s irrelevant that they live with other siblings.

She just had a baby, it’s not her time to entertain and let’s be honest she’d be the one taking care of everything. Let her get stronger and things will go back to normal. They can come over for a visit but not sleep there until she feels up to it. Nobody even knows how easy or hard this delivery might be. Give her a chance to get back on her feet.

I’m really surprised that posters are saying they should stay with you for 2 weeks when they don’t normally live there!!

let them come on their normal weekend. Make them feel really welcome. Why disrupt their normal routine for your baby? It would send all the wrong messages

also, you need time and space to recover. And the children that live with you need time to adjust to their new reality.

your husband is being selfish.

What if he said he wants the baby to spend 2 weeks with his dc but not your dc?