If you are a teacher, do you have favourites?

[BiggyJ]

Especially if you teach secondary.

Just curious after a conversation with a couple of friends last week.

It is inhuman not to get on with some people more than others. We naturally like other people more than others. This should all be internal, however, and the students should never, ever know.

In Primary I did.
However, not favourites in the sense that they got rewarded more or anything awful like that. It was more the children who I could depend on to leave the classroom to collect something and things like that. There were children I would be more likely to pick to do responsible jobs, and who I knew would follow the rules, and invariably that meant mentally I favoured them more.

I teach secondary. I don’t have favourites.

However, there are a few students who, if I heard tomorrow that they were moving to a new school permanently, I’d do a little jig on the inside.

I'm a TA in secondary.I don't have favourites but I like some more than others.

Same here! When “that” child is absent it’s always a bit of a relief.

I'm a retired secondary teacher. I always treated all students equally and fairly but yes, there were certain kids I had a fondness for, for different reasons. Some because they were quirky individuals, some because they were cheerful, some because they tried so bloody hard, despite struggling.

It's natural to like some people more than others. What's important is that you treat them all equally and don't favour some students.

It’s natural to have some kids you find easier than others.
Or who you have a soft spot for even when they’re more challenging.
I work very hard to be fair though, everyone gets turns and my attention and praise when necessary. I’m also careful to deal with transgressions fairly too. If they’ve crossed the boundaries they’re going to get pulled up on it no matter who they are.

Former secondary teacher. There were kids I had a soft spot for because they tried their hardest, even if they weren't always successful. They were polite - or even if they weren't always polite, they showed respect in their own way 😂 - and they could be trusted.

I absolutely had least favourite kids. The ones where I'd see they were absent on SIMS and breathe a sigh of relief.

There’s a huge difference between having ‘favourite’ children and favouritism.

Oh I hear you!

I'm in a support role and sometimes look a kid up who I think is in Year 11, but it turns out they're Year 10 and my heart sinks!

It's impossible not to feel differently about different children - but we're all different. Some of the kids that I find myself rooting for are the ones that many other people would love to see off roll!

The important thing (which is sometimes really hard) is to treat them the same...

I treat them all equally but I prefer some of them to others. I’m invariably fond of the ones who treat me like a human being rather than an alien species put on this earth to ruin their lives.

This.

I think back over the decades and remember a few of the children very fondly. Others I wonder what became of them. Most I wouldn't be able to remember. Does that mean they were favourites? I don't think so. I think I remember the ones who struggled the most - the ones you probably had to put a lot more work into supporting them to cope with school, rather than the ones 'who could be relied upon'.

I don't think at any point anyone could perceive which children they would be though, and certainly no 'favouritism'.

I teach primary. I don't think I have favorites but I have children I think about a lot outside of work in terms of how best to support them (mostly kids who find school really challenging but try really hard, even though their behavior can leave a lot to be desired). Those kids can sometimes seem like they get away with a lot from the outside, mostly because people don't always know everything they have to deal with. I also have kids I can always give responsibility to and ones who are especially good with particular skills like organizing or helping the younger ones so will be chosen if there are those kinds of jobs to do. I definitely don't have a 'teachers pet' though or a child who always gets given special parts in plays or anything like that, which is what's often meant by 'favourites' I think.

Yes of course, it’s human nature to gel with some people better than others. The key is ensuring children don’t know. Every child should think they’re your favourite!