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Struggling with dd behaviour 12.

3 replies

Whattodo12e · 17/03/2025 11:05

Getting at the end of tether with dd behaviour she's constantly in a combative role and it's hard to exist with her eg when we go in her room it's what do you want.
I don't care
Yesterday was a difficult day for her because we were out all day and she didn't have the right headphones and she had to be around older people for a short while to be fair she's not used too we validated her feelings told her we understand it's hard for her but it's a one off we don't have many older family members and we see them extremely rarely etc.
She was just so unpleasant and hard work all day saying I don't care etc.

She's never been easy but we've had 80%normal time which I think is normal for anyone.

She started her periods about 3 months ago and wants to be in her room all the time it's hard to get her down even to eat. She wants to eat in her room and of we get her down she will dangerously wolf it down and go straight back up.
I've tried love bombing and positive reinforcement etc.
She's not let us hug her for about few years now etc.

OP posts:
Shamrocker · 17/03/2025 11:10

It's pretty normal pre teen behaviour for a lot of kids to be honest.

I've got 3 adult DC who all went through the 'I want to stay in my room' phase and apart from meal times, we let them get on with it.

We didn't tolerate rudeness though so that caused quite a battle but as the adult, you always have the upper hand.

Hang in there, she'll grow out of it eventually but you still need firm boundaries in place.

Shamrocker · 17/03/2025 11:12

And wolfing her food down isn't really dangerous.

If she gets indigestion she'll learn from it.

Whattodo12e · 17/03/2025 12:01

@Shamrocker I get the being in the room but it's the constant combative comments and rudeness

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