Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

I am not happy with my hospital consultant (gynaecologist), am I in my right to ask to see someone else?

6 replies

RJB73 · 17/03/2025 09:20

I have a long history with the gynaecology department at my local hospital.

I have suffered with period problems since they first started at the age of 12 and in my 20's things got worse (very heavy periods and very painful ovulation). I had a D&C at the age of 26 (which didn't help at all) and was told my issues were just one of those things. It then took over 6 years to get pregnant and after having my two dc in my 30's my periods became simply awful. I was experiencing 8 -10 day periods, flooding, passing huge clots and would suffer from very painful ovulation for a full week (would hurt just to sit down). Alongside this I have always had an awfully functioning digestive system which dominates my life.

Since 2013 I saw my gynaecologist every year for some procedure or consultation. I have endured 5 painful hysteroscopies to remove recurring and multiple uterine polyps and one procedure in day surgery for the stubborn polyps he could not get to during a hysteroscopy. Always told the procedures would help but they didn't at all. By 2022 I was so anaemic that I needed iron infusions and so I then opted for a uterine ablation. I asked my gynaecologist lots of questions before the procedure and was happy that it was a good option for me as I trusted him.

The ablation went well and worked in the sense that it stopped my bleeding but I have simply exchanged heavy periods for such very painful ones. At the end of 2023 I went back to see my gynae and asked for a MRI as I was concerned about the amount of pain I was expereincing during each period. I was told to take pain killers and there was probably nothing to worry about.

Results came back with deep endometriosis and diffuse adenomyosis (I was 50 at the time). I was not at all surprise as my sister was diagnosed with endo in her mid 40's. I had explained this to my gynae in the past but he did not think my issues were endo related and I trusted his opinion. But now I learn that I had endo all along and apparently the adenomyosis has been caused by the uterine ablation forcing the endo into the walls of my uterus. I am still very upset that it had taken decades to find this out.

However, my gynae is not an endo specialist, so at the end of 2023 he referred me over to the endo team at the same hospital (it's an endometriosis specialist hospital, apparently!).

I saw the endo consultant in May last year. I will be honest, I did not warm to this man at all, he has a reputation for being very brusque/off hand and this is exactly how I found him to be. He talked over me the whole time, I tried to ask if my decades long digestive issues could be related to my gynae problems and he shut me down instantly, waving his hand in my face and telling me we were not here to discuss such things he's a gynae not a gastro. He was also not interested when I mentioned that I have awful pain during each period due to the failed uterine ablation, basically giving me the impression that as he did not perform the op he was not interested and I should take it up with the hospital I went to, when I explained it was the same gynae department he just shrugged. He then placed me on a waiting list for a laparoscopy which I am still on (it is approx. 18 months wait).

However, the pain I am experiencing during each period because of the ablation is awful. I recently telephoned the hospital and asked for a scan to check what is going on but I had to see the consultant first so was given an appointment last week. I saw him on Friday but found him to be even more off hand. I held my own in the consulting room but tbh bawled my eyes out when I got back to my car from the sheer frustrations from talking to a doctor who has zero bedside manner (and being in perimenopause doesn't help with my emotions). This man will be performing my laparoscopy some time this year and tbh I don't want him to do it however experienced and skilled he may be. I mentioned on my local endo FB group about my frustrations (not mentioning his name) and several women commented with their story and mentioned the same consultant so they have obviously had issues with this him too (the post was taken down unfortunately as his name had been mentioned which I understand but I was unable to find out what the other women did in this situation).

Sorry that it is a long thread but I am not one for complaining but I really don't want to be under the care of this man, I am very apprehensive about going in for more surgery since the ablation was such a disaster and I would like a consultant who understands my concerns and one who does not talk over me, doesn't allow me to answer back and someone who will go through all of my queries without making me feel small. It's not too much to ask, is it? I will have to go through PALS won't I? I hate complaining but what else can I do?

OP posts:
JeanGenieJean · 17/03/2025 17:26

Before I read your last sentence I was thinking PALS. Nobody should have to put up with a professional treating a patient so badly.
Please report him to PALS, in my experience they are very good and you can bet you won't be the only one to complain about him.
Maybe you could be transferred to another health authority if you hear of a more sympathetic consultant.

RJB73 · 17/03/2025 18:33

JeanGenieJean · 17/03/2025 17:26

Before I read your last sentence I was thinking PALS. Nobody should have to put up with a professional treating a patient so badly.
Please report him to PALS, in my experience they are very good and you can bet you won't be the only one to complain about him.
Maybe you could be transferred to another health authority if you hear of a more sympathetic consultant.

Thank you JeanGenieJean

I was going to contact PALS today but I have asked the same question on my local FB endo support group and a woman has just messaged me to say she thinks we may have the same consultant, she has complained and has been told by the hospital they will not allow her to change consultants which is disappointing. I will still contact them though, they are connected to a hospital trust in the next city so I will ask if I could be transferred there, I am happy to travel if it means seeing a consultant who will not talk over me the whole time.

OP posts:
528htz · 17/03/2025 18:51

That's terrible. He needs to remember that he's just another employee. Definitely complain to pals.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Holdonforsummer · 17/03/2025 19:11

Midwife here: I’m so sorry you have been through all of this. I never understand why some doctors find it so hard to listen (and especially to women). Surely it is a no-brainier - be a nice, empathetic human being and as a bonus, you might learn something that makes you a better doctor too. It makes me fume. How much better would you be feeling right now if he had listened, even if it weren’t his area of expertise? Please do pursue this via PALS, and please do request another opinion/consultation from a different consultant. My local trust seem quite keen to sort our complaints made through PALS so hopefully yours is too. And the more women who complain, the better, as this doctor may eventually be held to account, or at least realise his behaviour is not acceptable. Good luck, I really hope this all improves very soon for you.

RJB73 · 18/03/2025 09:15

Holdonforsummer · 17/03/2025 19:11

Midwife here: I’m so sorry you have been through all of this. I never understand why some doctors find it so hard to listen (and especially to women). Surely it is a no-brainier - be a nice, empathetic human being and as a bonus, you might learn something that makes you a better doctor too. It makes me fume. How much better would you be feeling right now if he had listened, even if it weren’t his area of expertise? Please do pursue this via PALS, and please do request another opinion/consultation from a different consultant. My local trust seem quite keen to sort our complaints made through PALS so hopefully yours is too. And the more women who complain, the better, as this doctor may eventually be held to account, or at least realise his behaviour is not acceptable. Good luck, I really hope this all improves very soon for you.

Thanks, I have written to PALS this morning so fingers crossed.

OP posts:
528htz · 18/03/2025 13:30

Another thing. A patient can't consent to treatment if they've been railroaded into it or haven't been given the information they need by having questions answered. So technically, he's operating on non fully consenting women, which is assault. Extreme, but accurate.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread