What does your 12-13yo do all summer?

[LadyContrary]

DS is 12, will be 12.5 in the summer. Typically during the summer he’d go to a football camp a couple of days a week or a coding/Minecraft camp, a couple of days a week he’d hang out with his friends, I’d take some time off and there’s always been a balance between organised activities and complete freedom.

This year he’s completely refusing to attend anything organised, including the football camp. He doesn’t want to be the oldest there and says it’s all for younger kids anyway. We’re away for a couple of weeks but that still leaves 4 weeks to cover.

He’s my only child, I’m not overprotective, happy for him to have quite a lot of freedom. Is that how it works at this age? Do kids just do what they want all summer? I know we did but that was 30 years ago and it was completely normal to leave the house straight after breakfast and come back when it was getting dark.

DD (will be 13 in summer hols) is going on a sports camp for a week. She's in the youngest age group, so there are some for older kids around. I also saw an adventure and first aid camp, again, she's the youngest age allowed.

Music, theatre, circus and photography she would be in the middle of the age range. You might have to look further afield.
Is it the idea of an organised activity he's against? Or just because at the groups you looked he'd be one of the oldest?

Else we'll be palming them off to the IL's for one day a week and DH will wfh for the other two days I work. I suppose they'll be outside in the park with the neighbours' kids or gaming.

Mine does ice hockey camp, go on holiday for 10 days, I join him up for various activities through active schools on the days I'm in the office and the rest of the days hel kick about with his friends playing football. Going to town to cinema or swimming etc.

I doubt next year hel go to any of the organised activities other than his clubs hockey camp. Totally normal to want to stop them, my dds both did around that age.

PGL for a week. A week with me up at my parents either staying with them or camping. A few days with ex’s parents. Art camp for the week while I am still working and they have broken up. Inviting kids round for the day & a few day trips planned with other kids.

I am off work in the holidays so happy for things to be fairly flexible but last year my then 12 year old did a few days of rugby coaching camp and a play in a week at a local theatre (the group was specifically for age 11-13) which he loved.

Mine is a girl but she’s doing a week of outward bound with a friend, a week of a residential rugby camp, probably another 5-days of sailing dotted about but some of that is weekends and then beach, seeing friends etc. We are away for 2 weeks and then going to Carfest for BH. I don’t make her do stuff but I don’t let her just sit on screens all day so it’s not a completely free choice. Last summer the screens just got out of control and we all ended feeling a bit ugh.

I think that's reasonable. I aged out of holiday clubs at 11 and the next year my brother who would have been 8 and I stayed at home whilst our parents worked; my Dad worked close enough that he could come home at lunchtime.

So long as he knows what to do in an emergency and he's fairly sensible, he should be fine.

My local area has camps and events for year 7-10 like afternoons of basketball coaching and some short courses at the local college like coding and cooking.

I think I might need to look further afield, unfortunately. Everything fairly local is for ages up to 12, so whilst they’d still take him, he doesn’t want to do it. He’d do anything sport related, won’t entertain arts/ photography etc. It’s such a funny “in between” age, everything is “cringe”, he’s also very tall and in the midst of puberty, very self conscious. I’ll be mostly wfh but still working, so can’t exactly give him much of my time during the day.

Thank you for all the suggestions.

My oldest pretty much slept through the summer at 12/13! No way would she go to any organised activities apart from the few days she went to volleyball camp.

@LadyContrary Would he do a residential? There are quite a few sports development camps on offer which target older kids (12-17) who want a week focusing on their main sport. Often held in boarding schools. Some of them have a criteria (like county/club first team), others don't although most assume your DC does already play the sport.

The only problem is that you still lose a day's holiday (potentially two if they don't start of end on a weekend) ferrying them to and fro.

@LaPalmaLlama I’m looking into these now too, thank you! Residentials used to be the highlight of my summer, used to do one each year, sometimes two. DP has never done one and is concerned that DS is too young and won’t enjoy it if he’s not taking a friend with him. I am rolling my eyes very hard at it, all the way to the back of my head.

I’m going to end up driving a bit further to get my 12 year old into older clubs this year. She isn’t allowed on screens during the day so she would be eager enough to be doing clubs or activities.

If he’ll go to a residential I would go ahead. Mine won’t this year, she would be too nervous to be away from us.