Dd university costs and extra money

[LemonLimeWater]

Dd goes to university in another country. Dh and I pay for everything - rent / she is on a meal plan so has access to a food hall 24 hours a day / tuition/ there was a problem with her phone plan so that is also connected to dh’s credit card. Transport and health care is part of her tuition.
Her money is for laundry / going out and toiletries /clothes. She can’t work as doesn’t have a work visa.

The problem is she is saving about 75% of what we give her. She has friends and goes out but doesn’t seem to spend any money.

I think if she is saving so much, we are giving her too much and we should cut back. We had no idea of expenses before she moved there and didn’t want her to be in a position of not being able to afford things while making friends.

Dh says it’s great that she is such a saver and we should continue at this rate so she has some savings once she graduates,- this is a great skill and we should encourage it.

What would you do? keep going at this rate and let her have a nest egg once she graduates or cut the budget in half and put the money elsewhere?
thanks

It depends on if giving her the amount of money you are giving her us putting you into debt or causing you to struggle

it is not causing us financial difficulties to give it to her, I just worry that she is being given money that she doesn’t need. I know she can’t work, but if she doesn’t need it, then we can put it elsewhere

And if she doesn’t need it, then why should we give it to her?

So you would be happy to give it to her if she was spending it on alcohol, extra clothes, nights out, whatever...

But not if she saves it for her future?

What does she plan on doing with the nest egg?

My ds decided half way through university he was going travelling around Asia when he graduated but didn't tell us. We kept sending money whilst he stopped going out and saved on food, got a part time job and saved that too.
If we'd known he was saving so much we would have cut back to essentials as it felt like we'd funded half his travelling.

He still talks about how he worked to save money for travelling but forgets he didn't have to pay rent, phone, food, insurance, exams, books etc

You should put this to her frankly.
She's extremely privileged to have everything paid for and then extra money offered on top.

This money is being offered to cover day to day expenses as discussed, not for savings.
She can save money that she has earned or through a pension scheme with her employer.

The cash you give is to get her through Uni.
Is it not possible for international students to get a work visa for even a limited amount of hours?

She needs to know how to earn money, not being obsessed with saving it right now. That's not what your 'allowance' is meant to be for.

The issue is that there is no agreement as to how much she needs, what the terms are ie what it’s for (college, living expenses) and how long you will support her for. No problem if she wants a cushion of savings but it’s not her money to save it’s yours.

I would probably do a bit of both. The initial amount you set was a bit of a shot in the dark. I would explain this to her and then reduce it by about 20% for the next academic year. Sounds like she would still have plenty even if her spending habit changed, which they might.

If you can afford it then continue to pay. If she saves some then fair enough good for her. Who’s to say ina year or so she won’t meet friends and start going out? If you have reduced the amount would you increase?

it’s good she is saving just leave it be

Is she actually going out with friends?

What year is she in?

we are similar. Currently dc is first year in halls but is saving because they will need a deposit and first months rent in April to hold their second year house. Then they’re going to need ongoing rent so they like having a cushion to make sure rent is paid, it’s not a cheap city. Then there’ll be food on top as no longer in a meal plan, bus/tram fares as not on campus etc. so sensible to be anticipating those costs.

Same situation in that they can’t work on a student visa.

I agree with others, if you can afford it carry on. I know it seems like you’re giving her money she doesn’t need but surely it’s her choice whether to save or spend? Better she saves in many ways?

Some interesting points here, thanks