One big fucking ball of anxiety…please join in with yours

[burntoutnurse]

Welcome to peri!

my current anxiety’s

dh’s ship will crash in the north sea

theres so many social media videos showing 13/14yo literally trying to kill each other atm (DS is 14)

ds1 a teenage boy learning to drive but also a passenger in the car of his best who can legally driver at 17

work, NICU nurse, level 3, so the sickest of prem or sick babies

My mum has recently asked me to be her executor, is she ill

and the one thing that’s occupying mind space atm is my health, I found a lump. Not in the usual place. Like the breast etc, so I’ve pretty much anxiety convinced myself I’ve got a tumour in my leg and I’m losing it

life of just hard Yano? And so much bad news in the media. A women’s was shot on her doorstep about 6 miles from where I live in a quiet little idillic Welsh village.

how do I fix it all so m
not just one big fucking ball of brokenness and anxiety?

It's natural to get fears at times, especially at night.

I'm annoyed I haven't long woken up and am quite alert!

Definitely get executor sorted, it saves a lot of hassle.

I didn't go down to get some gelato earlier so it will be chocolate fudge cake and clotted cream <first world problems>

Up for a bit deciding which film to put on as no chance of sleep now, there will be people around to chatter to

I’ve just put greys anatomy on in prep for the new series

Hugs to you @burntoutnurse

I get anxiety also, which is why I am up!

Re each point of worry you have made.... can you write them each down on a piece of paper and then break down each bit you are worried about into sub points? Get right into it no matter how 'silly' it seems. That sometimes helps me. Also I am a catastrophiser so tend to jump straight to the worst case scenario.

Re Executor- does not mean necessarily your mum is ill- might just be that she is sensible and organised!

My current anxieties that is keeping me awake;

1. Neighbour issues. We have a batshit neighbour who has actually stepped over the line and has moved to harassment. Problem is that DH exacerbates the situation in some ways because he refuses to be bullied by the neighbour so it's become really nasty and it's at the point where when I walk out my own door I have my phone set to record because the neighbour shouts abuse at me. That's why I am up at the moment. I am a natural appeaser and DH is happy to get stuck in and inflame the situation.
2. My older DS is doing a Duke of Ed expedition soon. He is a bit vulnerable and is quite thin and underweight due to various health conditions he is on and i am worried it will be too much for him and he will get injured. He wants to do it though. I am trying to one achievement a day re this otherwise I get a bit overwhelmed because it's all so new. So tomorrow (today) I am going to buy his base layers. That's my only aim.

Those are the big ones for me at the moment.

I am going to try and get some sleep again now. Hope you are okay @burntoutnurse and @CalicoPusscat

Muses- I wonder why the middle of the night is so bad for night fears. There's probably been a study done.

Just picked up DD2 (17) from a party. While parked, picked up from the pavement a passed-out classmate of hers. She rose like a sleepy princess and proclaimed she was FINE and only having a tiny nap. I was glad that DD only smelt of Bacardi and vapes when she slid into the car. Not sure I’ll ever get to sleep soundly on a weekend night until I’m 60.

@SilverBlueRabbit yes actually I had heard it's a good idea to write down any worries during the night, sort of releasing them!

I'm sure your son will be fine. I managed DoE and I'm a scrawny little thing.

Anyway night all 💞

I'm a menopausal nurse with anxiety so have a lot of sympathy for you. I'm also re-watching Grey's anatomy, it's my comfort TV.

I'm up because I'm at work!

I am a catastrophiser too, things escalate in my head very quickly!

Current anxieties are work related and around our travel tomorrow. Work is okay but the nature of it means there is always stress! Going on a city break so flight and then the unknown in terms of public transport.

I'm worried that the bags I specifically bought because they met the airlines size requirements will be too big, we will miss the flight due to traffic (at 3am) the plane will fall from the sky and leave DSes orphans....the usual!

It’s all just shit isn’t it? 😳 I’m still awake. DH video called me when his shift finished at 4am worried bless him. I just wish sometimes I was him? Yano? Away from it all int he middle of the ocean

Teenagers are a whole new world of worry aren’t they? Give me a baby on a play mat who can’t move any day! But also sleeps through the night, which none of mine did

The bags will be fine!

if it makes you feel better we went on holiday in Jan. all packed up to check out and I’d got the flight details wrong! Thankful it meant an extra day, rather than us missing it but I had to arrange to have to dog collected and rearrange a hospital appointment

damn menopause brain fog lol

Awake and also anxious OP. No advice but solidarity

3:40am wake up call which is normal these days.

Worried about work, ds (25), money and going away next month.

Just feel like a constant ball of anxiety! On meds from the GP but not sure they're working well.

Peri sucks!!

I’m awake. Haven’t slept. My son passed away recently and I am a mess. I can’t sleep. I took a Valium too and still can’t sleep. Now anxious something is wrong with me.

I'm so sorry, of course you would feel a mess. What a horrible thing to happen 🌺🌺🌺

Oh @BereftBeyondBelief . I am so sorry. ❤

I have been like this my entire life. It ramps up a bit due to tiredness or stress, but racing thoughts, catastrophising and a creeping tide of anxiety are my normal. It was strange when women I knew suddenly started telling me how anxious they had become around perimenopause. Suddenly they were like me😅 I didn’t say ‘welcome to my world’ though, even though it crossed my mind, because I honestly wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

That is absolutely awful for you. I am so sorry about your son.

I’m so sorry

anxiety is horrible I feel as if I’m constantly in fight or flight mode it’s exhausting. I’m 51 and have gone through the menopause. Solidarity to everyone who is suffering with it. Condolences to you BereftBeyondBelief 💐

I was up around this time last night worrying about a holiday we've booked. Had hoped family could join us but they can't and now worried kids will be bored without their cousins and we've spent so much on it which will turn out to be a waste.

Other random anxieties from this week

A.new project at work which I'm not yet sure we can deliver

Whether we chose the wrong secondary school for DS.

House work, how to ever get on top of it, that I've ruined my DCs childhood by having a messy house.

Definitely find writing things down helps. Get out of bed, write in my diary, then do ten mins yoga and back to bed. Don't always get to sleep but Do generally feel less on edge as a result

During cbt for anxiety my therapist suggested a daily 20 min "worry space". I saved up all my worries until my walk home from work, turned them all over in my mind for 20 mins, then " parked" them til the next day.... sounds simple, but it definitely helped.

Thanks for sharing all. I managed to get to sleep about 5am I think. So today has been a right off! I’ve spent the day on the sofa watching Netflix! Hoping tonight I’ll sleep better