How do people without disordered habits eat?

[Frequency]

It's probably the wrong place to ask but how do normal people eat? Why are the not either fat or hungry all the time?

And, most importantly, how do they deal with cravings? Like, how do they just eat what they fancy, when they fancy without worrying about losing control and gaining weight?

If for example, they really, really wanted a portion of Gregg's brownies with salted caramel dip, would they just order them without considering how they would fit into their daily calorie allowance?

Surely, if they did that, they'd be over their TDEE that day? And if they did that say every couple of weeks, they'd gain weight.

Where is that?

Also, my issue is not eating enough calories. Although, moving somewhere where there is no easy access to food would be my idea of heaven. I'd probably become seriously unwell after a couple of weeks though.

Well, OP, the people you mention have no idea what the calories are in anything. Never look. Don't care.
They eat at set times every day (usually breakfast, lunch and dinner), so they don't get too hungry.
They plan their meals, and shop accordingly.
They don't panic about the occasional treat.
They enjoy their food.
They don't care about their weight, or even own any scales.
They get on with everything else in their life.

It might sound hard but, with help, you will be able to achieve this too.

You don't need to count anything to know what kind of foods are likely to make you put on weight if you eat them regularly. You can also think 'Well I had a big roast lunch / big slice of chocolate cake, so I'll have a salad for dinner'. You can also eat smaller portions (of cake etc or of your normal meals). None of that requires counting. I have in the past lost weight (successfully but temporarily) on various diets. None of those diets involved counting calories.

Have found it easier to almost completely ignore calories and focus on protein. Without the cereal you probably wouldn’t crave the brownie. Try some Skyr and fruit or eggs for breakfast (less of a crash) - the more sweet processed stuff you want the more you want it (over Christmas I can barely function without a handful of chocs for breakfast but once I step away from it for a bit I don’t crave it). Eating better meals I.e more protein and veg does help with cravings. Cereal is not filling I could eat 3 bowls no problem and be hungry again later.

Where is that?

My village.

I think that they either don’t get the cravings the way that you do, or that they are quite disciplined and so if they allowed themselves a desert one day, then they wouldn’t the next.

I do know that eating sugar is quite addictive and can get you craving more sugar so people can carry on eating cakes etc even if they are already full or being desparate for another ‘fix’ about an hour later. But some people don’t get this and can have a treat once every couple of months etc. I would recommend trying to wean yourself off
sugar - but I know well that it’s easier said than done.

I don’t count calories, never have. I’ve started eating veg and protein before carbs and that has fixed my temptation for biscuits/pastries and cake.

I learned the trick from a woman calling herself Glucose Goddess. The veg kind of lines the digestive system and so the glucose from carbohydrates can’t cross into the bloodstream as quickly.

So, my breakfast is Greek yoghurt with nuts, fruit and homemade granola. I eat the nuts before the granola & fruit. Or eggs with vegetables. That sets me up for the day.

@Chipsahoy 😂christ thank God we don't have a cat, my ' greedy ' lab would snaffle it's food for sure. He doesn't steal food from us or scavenge but boy the temptation is real . He can also tell the time😁 particularly 7 am and 4 pm

I have noticed a lot of posters citing the reason that they eat ‘normally’ as
being down to their upbringing. I think this is probably more a case of coincidence.

There are many people who grew up with 3 meals a day, no snacking, few treats, and whose family’s still live like that today. But somehow in the process of adulthood, their own eating became disordered, possibly due to a life event, busyness, the people around them, or, very often going on a diet in their teens, early 20s when they didn’t actually need it but the media and society around us pushing ideas of slimness and new diet fixes, therefore being on a diet merry-go-round, complete with attached cravings, that its very hard to get off.

Actually that really has helped me

I used to live in London, work in London. leave the house at 6.45am. get home 6;30pm, was earning the money so I did say sod it, and got in the habits of ready meals and take away , would go weeks before a veg passed my lips . And those habits are hard to break, you get so used to the instant gratification

So yes I do now actually live 8 miles from the nearest town and there's no such thing as just eat, diliveroo etc so we don't eat take out anymore. Well we do, if we are going into the big town, we will "treat" ourselves to a KFC or a Mac D's - 6 to 8 times a year??

I had to learn to cook the foods we had come to love - healthier perhaps as no what we call nasties in them - but still high calorific for little nutritional value. FFS I bought a bloody chip pan - for onion bhajees ( so I told myself when buying) soon was doing fish and chip Fridays and chips with nearly everything again . for years I was doing this, kidding myself because I had cooked it at home it was healthy - waist line told a different story

Like you @Frequency , there's a lot of foods I refused to entertain, I knew what I liked and if I wasnt having that, then nothing was filling the space and I was seriously under eating. It's taken me 2, maybe 3 years to now get to the place where Im attempting foods that were always a hard NO. This week I have added cottage cheese and Im obsessed as they like to say :) I had memories of the watery tasteless slop sold in the 70's - and by god that was real grim, todays stuff is like manner from heaven in comparison and Friday I tried edamane beans - raw - in a peanut butter dressing - Im hooked . Im not a natural veg lover, most of my veg gets in me from making soup

There are still days when I don't eat enough food to give me the energy I need , its been a long slow journey, and Im learning all the time, but Im learning not all calories are equal. Use your calories on chocolate and brownies and a - you are going to be hungry and b- your body is going to suffer. Use your calories on veg and protein with enough fibre to keep you regular, enough healthy fats to keep the brain working, you are going to be fuller for longer and your body will repay it 10 fold

Im coming 61. I did my first marathon last year and Ive taken up cycling this year , I walk at a 15min mile pace over distance walks, Im out the door at 6am for work. I cant do that, and run a home and family if Im exhausted because I relying on sugar to get me through. I wear a size 8 bottom, 10 top and still have a pop belly hence my further learning and changing habits continue

Do you view food as either good or bad @Frequency? I found that reframing food as degrees of healthy was useful.

So your brownies would be unhealthy as sugary etc, but if I wanted them, I would eat them but adjust through the week for them and probably not have much more unhealthy food for the rest of the week.

It's taken me years to get to this point though, starting with bulimia, then anorexia, then BED followed by disordered eating.

Do you view food as either good or bad ? I found that reframing food as degrees of healthy was useful

Not as such, it's mostly about calories. Some foods are worth the "cost" some are not. I have safe foods and foods that are never ever worth the calories but they're not what you'd expect them to be. "Bad" food to me is bread, pasta, rice, peas and legumes, most root veg, etc because I don't view them as worth the calories. Cake is also bad. Brownies are worth the cost. Some crisps are worth the cost most are not.

I am aware it makes no sense. It's like there are 2 of me. Three is me, who is aware science exists and then there is the little voice in my head that says "If you eat toast and butter for supper you will be enormous and peas are poison".

But this doesn’t take in to account any nutritional value, fibre, the gut / brain link, the satiety you have from proper foods.

It does sound like you have a really unhealthy relationship with food and treating food calories like currency where you are just spending the value in exchange for what’s ’worth it’ but it’s all back to front.

I have had anorexia for 23 years. It’s an absolute living hell!
I am so envious of people who can eat normally, I can only imagine how freeing it is.

I think having a healthy, well balanced diet (ie a good balance of carbs/proteins/healthy fats/fruit/veg) and not denying yourself the odd treat every now and again means you don’t necessarily crave all the bad food.
Because my body is quite often starving, I crave high fat/sugar foods. If I ate ‘normally’, I’m almost certain these cravings would go away because my body doesn’t need/want them.

I also think seeing certain foods as off limits will only make you want them more. If you don’t deny yourself treats, you’re probably less likely to to want them all the time.

I enjoy food and I look at it as nutrition. I was "naturally" slim on good habits through youth but do have to manage it more conciously in my 40s.

I CBA fussing with calories. I plan meals from the protein as my starting point, then the veg/ salad and carbs after. Generally. Not all meals are like this. Lazy opportunism can override. But enough meals are planned well enough for overall decent nutrition.

If I want to fuck my day up, starting with something sweet (including cereal) is an excellent way to initiate spending the whole day on a sugar/ carbs rollercoaster.
Start the day with protein and fibre. Complex carbs such as whole oats also take longer to digest and release their energy. Eggs are quick, easy and versatile. DS started today with a cheesy omlette which took me 5 mins to make and will keep a ravenous 12yo going until lunchtime.

My lunchtimes are hit and miss as I might be out on a long run over that time slot. I eat more carbohydrates on or following energy intense days and fewer on more restful days. My appetite tends to balance out over multiple days.

I've always eaten the more "complete" version of foods. Not to any extreme, but I'd go for the seeded, sliced loaf in the supermarket over the white loaf. This is where calories are unhelpful because while the seeded loaf contains more, it also has more fibre and nutrients left in from the seeds and will keep me satisfied for longer making me far less likely to snack later. "Reduced fat/ sugar" items will be bulked up with nutritionless substances, but the hunger will kick in sooner than with the "full" version.

It is better to eat less processed forms of food.
Genuinely healthy, nutritious foods don't brag about it on the packaging.

A salad will satisfy me because it will have a protein source and some fat. A plain salad doesn't have the range of nutrients you need to be satisfied. If I need more carbohydrate, I'll have some.

¾s of the battle is won in the supermarket. I tend to go to Lidl/ Aldi where the range is more limited and better balanced towards food you'd eat for meals. In a larger shop like Sainsbury's or ASDA, I go to less than half the sections and by-pass zones like alcohol that I don't need. I'm rarely bothered enough to make a trip out for a random snack, but if I do, I do.

I am currently trying to lose a half-stone that's built up in recent years, so I'm conciously eating more plants and cutting the carb portion (generally adding more salad in to that space). At one point last week, I really, really wanted something sweet and ended up making a small batch of cupcakes with a basic flour/ eggs/ butter/ sugar recipe. I did it. I enjoyed it. I moved on. The rest of the day went well. The next day was easier. No regrets.

I don't have anything "banned". There are things like artificial sweetners that I avoid because of their side effects. I have to remind myself that some things are disappointing and just aren't as enjoyable as they were in the past (thanks palm oil) but there is no food group that I ban completely. There are things like cake or alcohol that are best consumed sporadically. There is no moral judgement about what I eat, more how does it serve my needs; mostly a physical question with a slight emotional layer.

The value of calories in nutrition is only that they give a vague idea of intake. You have to have a decent idea of your output for that to have context. They don't tell you how nourishing and satisfying a food is and how balanced your diet is overall.

The Zoe podcasts/ youtube videos are good for information about nutrition for health.

It sounds like your focus is on the calories and not their make-up - ie look at the worth/ the constitution of what goes in and not just the numbers.

Your body is designed to want, digest and redeploy good natural stuff. Include good protein at every meal and veg and fruit plus some carbs etc. If you’re filled up on good stuff you will eat less junk and in time crave it less and good stuff more.

I find lunch tricky too as can’t have gluten or dairy. I do have access to microwave at work so have soups or a baked sweet potato with fillings I’ve taken with me. I never skip meals as feel ill. If no microwave take chicken breast/ legs, tinned tuna/ sardines, mixed salad, boiled egg, leftovers from home. Nuts and seeds are great snacks. And if you can do dairy small lump cheese good too.

I don’t have a sweet tooth so would crave a sausage roll or something with cheese instead, but dd does have sweet cravings. She’d get the brownie but would have half today and half tomorrow so it’s less of a calorie hit in one day. It’s also the sort of thing that would be an occasional treat, rather than getting one every day or even once a week.

Try reading the ultra processed people book pp have mentioned op. Put me off so much reading about how / why it was invented, what’s in it and what it does to our bodies and minds!