Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Neighbourhood WhatsApp Group frustration.

28 replies

rubberduck68 · 15/03/2025 09:52

A lovely, retired and widowed woman moved in opposite us about a year ago and recently asked if there is a community WhatsApp Street group, to which I replied there is. I messaged on it and asked if they could add her. Tumbleweed for two weeks, so I asked if there was any reason why they hadn’t added her? Silence. So, I added her. Five minutes later the couple who run the “admin”, removed the new woman, and a message came up saying they have reset admin so no-one else can play with it. I know very little about these street groups, but is it common for people to have a rod up their backside and behave like they are in a school playground?!

OP posts:
DenholmElliot11 · 15/03/2025 09:54

Go and talk to them. Face to face. (Nicely though, yes?)

EmeraldRoulette · 15/03/2025 10:20

It's common to have an admin who makes the decision

their error was setting it up so anyone can add

they might know something you don't

have a discreet chat. They probably don't want the reason for refusing her to be put in writing. It might be petty but it might not!

purpleme12 · 15/03/2025 10:22

Mmm they don't sound very nice

tygertygers · 15/03/2025 10:24

Yes, normal. People who admin WhatsApp and Facebook groups are the most power hungry mini-dictators around.

Original poster
rubberduck68 · 15/03/2025 10:44

EmeraldRoulette · 15/03/2025 10:20

It's common to have an admin who makes the decision

their error was setting it up so anyone can add

they might know something you don't

have a discreet chat. They probably don't want the reason for refusing her to be put in writing. It might be petty but it might not!

I messaged them direct in a private message to their phone asking if there was a reason why, and they ignored the message (it was "read." I don't really know them well enough to go and stand on their doorstep and question them further.

OP posts:
parietal · 15/03/2025 11:40

Start a new rival street WhatsApp group. Put a postcard through the door of every house inviting people to join.

OldCottageGreenhouse · 15/03/2025 11:45

tygertygers · 15/03/2025 10:24

Yes, normal. People who admin WhatsApp and Facebook groups are the most power hungry mini-dictators around.

Speak for yourself! I admin a historical group and couldn’t be any further from how you describe! I only ever intervene when there’s spammers! 🤣

Original poster
rubberduck68 · 15/03/2025 12:18

parietal · 15/03/2025 11:40

Start a new rival street WhatsApp group. Put a postcard through the door of every house inviting people to join.

I'm tempted, but it's a very long street (!) and I am hoping to move later in the year so no point being the admin.

OP posts:
crouchendtigerr · 15/03/2025 12:55

There is a community wattsapp group in my street that no one invites me to join (I have lived here for over a decade), their main activity appears to be to block my drive and other campaigns. I was informed about it by a resident who moved. I have no desire to be a part of a cliquey WA group,

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 15/03/2025 13:21

I’d leave the group myself. It doesn’t sound like it’s the kind of thing I’d want to be involved in if they’re like that.

Louielooiloveyou · 15/03/2025 13:25

I lasted exactly under 5 mins on a neighbourhood one..was a moaning and express your prejudice shop I’m afraid..hideous…I was reluctant to join and my fears were confirmed..

Original poster
rubberduck68 · 15/03/2025 16:08

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 15/03/2025 13:21

I’d leave the group myself. It doesn’t sound like it’s the kind of thing I’d want to be involved in if they’re like that.

Good point

OP posts:
Original poster
rubberduck68 · 17/03/2025 09:58

This has all really kicked off. Got a very stroppy message from the admin about how it was set up for people "they consider appropriate" only and not just "anyone with the right postcode." I saw this admin woman in the street with another neighbour yesterday afternoon– both usually friendly – I smiled and said hello, and got blanked. Feel really uncomfortable in my own road now 🙁 Was just trying to do a nice thing for another neighbour....

OP posts:
wizzywig · 17/03/2025 10:01

Wow umm they are a bit hoity toity

evtheria · 17/03/2025 10:10

rubberduck68 · 17/03/2025 09:58

This has all really kicked off. Got a very stroppy message from the admin about how it was set up for people "they consider appropriate" only and not just "anyone with the right postcode." I saw this admin woman in the street with another neighbour yesterday afternoon– both usually friendly – I smiled and said hello, and got blanked. Feel really uncomfortable in my own road now 🙁 Was just trying to do a nice thing for another neighbour....

Oh my goodness!

If you see the new neighbour I'd just explain you were mistaken - it was not actually a neighbourhood group but some sort of private social chat, unfortunately, and that you're 'not too sure' how it's being run.

JoyousEagle · 17/03/2025 10:24

rubberduck68 · 17/03/2025 09:58

This has all really kicked off. Got a very stroppy message from the admin about how it was set up for people "they consider appropriate" only and not just "anyone with the right postcode." I saw this admin woman in the street with another neighbour yesterday afternoon– both usually friendly – I smiled and said hello, and got blanked. Feel really uncomfortable in my own road now 🙁 Was just trying to do a nice thing for another neighbour....

Haha what a snobby cow. How has she deemed this woman to not be appropriate? Does she rent and the admin lady doesn’t like it? Is there a racial element (I assumed you’d have mentioned that though)? What is it about this woman that means they don’t think she fits in with the rest of you?
I’d leave the group because I couldn’t be dealing with the bitchiness tbh - is there any benefit in a neighbourhood WhatsApp group anyway??

Original poster
rubberduck68 · 17/03/2025 10:48

JoyousEagle · 17/03/2025 10:24

Haha what a snobby cow. How has she deemed this woman to not be appropriate? Does she rent and the admin lady doesn’t like it? Is there a racial element (I assumed you’d have mentioned that though)? What is it about this woman that means they don’t think she fits in with the rest of you?
I’d leave the group because I couldn’t be dealing with the bitchiness tbh - is there any benefit in a neighbourhood WhatsApp group anyway??

Show quote history

No idea how the neighbour is "not appropriate"; she bought the house, she's a bit older than some of the street, probs 70-ish but she's very friendly and as she lives alone I was happy to hook her up with the local App. Turns out it's more of a clique, and I've never been a fan of those; nor do I want to be in one so I've removed myself. Our end of the street is a dead end (they closed it because of short cuts through); so we are all a bit on top of each other; I have to walk past the "snobby cow's" house to get out!

OP posts:
crouchendtigerr · 17/03/2025 11:07

Well I was deemed inappropriate, probably due to,being a single parent in a Housing association property, due to,escaping domestic abuse. Also I have two learning disabled autistic sons, who receive Sen transport to school, which they have complained abput. I live in a street where everyone else is a two parent family, or they seem to be related to each other. I definitely know I'm excluded, they make it very clear. I bet the left out woman knows. I have had to report harassment to police on a number of occasions, they always come out since I'm considered a vulnerable person. I tried to get on with my neighbours, but after a decade, I've given up and I don't have the energy.
I really hope your neighbours don't bully the new woman. Please keep an eye out for her

crouchendtigerr · 17/03/2025 11:12

To add, I also have three high achieving children, one studying maths at Oxford and the other with good offers from good universities. My dd is also extremely bright. My children actually perform better than their children, they might be aware, so lots of it is jealousy since they're very competitive, and the shock that I don't fit the stereotype they have of single parents.who knows.

crouchendtigerr · 17/03/2025 11:15

This is a very sensitive topic for me, I've had years of harassment, been quite depressed about it, it's been difficult to maintain my mental health since I already deal with the hardship of being a carer to my sons.

Original poster
rubberduck68 · 17/03/2025 11:23

crouchendtigerr · 17/03/2025 11:15

This is a very sensitive topic for me, I've had years of harassment, been quite depressed about it, it's been difficult to maintain my mental health since I already deal with the hardship of being a carer to my sons.

I am so sorry to hear that you have experienced such arseholery behaviour from other grown-ups (I use the term lightly). It just feels so hurtful that someone would behave that way, and yes maybe they are jealous but even so, what horrible people.

OP posts:
Original poster
rubberduck68 · 18/03/2025 09:59

Saw the silly cow who runs the app this morning and said, "hello," because I wasn't dragged up, and she and her bestie neighbour stuck their noses up in the air and carried on cycling, two abreast of course because apparently they literally own the road! Is it wrong of me to hope they go over someone's hedge?! I'm not wishing for broken bones, just an entanglement with something sharp like a gooseberry bush would do it.

OP posts:
Louielooiloveyou · 18/03/2025 13:46

I think thats perfect karma 😀

HappiestSleeping · 18/03/2025 13:54

Life is way too short for this stuff.

Myengagementring · 18/03/2025 14:02

We have a neighbourhood watch FB group and it is run like a dictatorship, if you disagree with the man who runs it you are kicked out. On Halloween he ordered everyone to stop answering the door at a certain time. Someone posted about having a yard sale and he started questioning the security of their van that was in the background of the picture he posted. If anyone posts that they have had their car stolen, pet lost, house broken into etc he then lectures them on the security measures he assumes they hadn't taken. Its quite amusing, we live in a small village and it livens it up. 😆