Feel like crying!

[stripypillows]

I just need a vent, having one of those dominoes toppling all around me moments, too much going on, going wrong all at the same time. Why do things wait to happen all at once?

I'm in the bath in an attempt to relax but I just want to run away from it all.

Vent away OP - things also seem to go wrong at the same time but before you know it, things will gradually start to get better little by the little.

In the meantime, it's ok to face your emotions and accept that you've had an utterly crap run of things. Hope they aren't major dominos falling.

Gah, sorry op.
I’ve felt my life is bobbing along too smoothly at the moment and I just know something (or more accurately several somethings) is around the corner to frisbee everything back to being completely overwhelmingly shit.
Vent away, sometimes everything happens all at once and it’s just too fucking much 💐

I don't want to go into detail but I think as a single parent, when one thing goes wrong it can quite often feel overwhelming because it usually has a knock on effect and it's harder to deal with alone - no one to help with the DC, the financial impact can be much worse when you've only got one salary etc.
I loathe being a single parent. That's the crux of it. Everything is harder.

I had a period like that about ten years ago, it sucked - everything went wrong at once.

I've mentioned on MN a few times before, I think, one thing that helped me at the time. I got a free book that was kind of self-helpy, it wasn't very good, but it had one very useful concept in it. To accept that 'life isn't fair'

That sounds negative, but actually it helped me feel much better. I was stuck in thinking over and over 'I just want one thing to go right, just one thing!' and that didn't help me, it kept me miserable with each new turn.

But after internalising that idea, it felt much better. When it looked like DH might finally have a job after months of searching, but he then had to turn it down because there was a really dodgy clause in the contract that they wouldn't change.... I was able to accept it. Rather than thinking 'Oh God, another disaster' it was just 'You know what? Life isn't fair'. It really helped get me through that patch.

Thank you. So glad you said to accept when things are crap, because the last thing you want when things actually ARE crap, is people telling you what you could/should be doing.
None of this is my fault, that's the main thing. Well maybe one bit of it, but the rest no, it's just bad luck, or just life.

This is exactly it. I've had a brief period of respite and you just KNOW it's going to go tits up at any moment.

I feel panic attacky. That feeling of total loss of control.

Single parenting is rough, regardless of your situation. How old is your child?
As for panic attacks, do you get them from time to time? If you can manage them with some guided meditation (headspace app or youtube vids), that could help. If not, perhaps a GP visit might help?

Hang in there - things will somehow get better.

When life threw several tonnes of shit at me all in the space of 6 months, I got out by making lists. I listed EVERYTHING. Then I separated them into: shit that I can clean, shit I send back to the owner, shit that just happened and I can do nothing about.
But it was all there in black and white and that gave me a sense of control.

Cry of you need to, let it all out, having a good cry is normal and can make you feel better. Also don't be afraid to ask for help

Thank you. I know they will get better. But when you're in the thick of it, you can't see it because you're drowning.

Funny you wrote that. I have just done a similar thing, I have a long term therapist who I see sporadically. I just sent her a long rambling message which is basically a list of everything that's overwhelming me right now.
It's a hideous list. But I've read through it a few times and it does help a little to get my head round it all and work out priorities.

I'm dry eyed right now, I think the crying will come later.
Too much adrenaline I think. I need to act, but it's too early to start making calls yet. I feel like a tiger about to pounce.

I couldn't have written a similar post last night OP. I text another one of my friends who is also a single parent and used the phrase 'I feel meltdowny' and she was the same.
Like others suggestions and your text I'm going to write a list instead of doom scrolling and panicking. Also off for a walk (school run) soon and going to walk back the long way.
Hope you feel better soon, it's okay not to be okay x

@watchuswreckthemic single parents unite. We all just get how tough it can be.
Happy list writing and hope your day goes ok.

Trying to arm myself with all my resources. I feel like I'm about to go into battle.

@stripypillows prepare for battle feels right! I'm still trying to find my groove today but sure we will find a way out of the overwhelm.

What a difference 24 hours makes.

Much calmer now, it’s not all in hand, but some is and it’s much better than it was.

I think when things happen at the end of the day like they did yesterday, it’s just unmanageable, but in the cold light of day with the whole day ahead of you, you can achieve so much, especially when you are pumped on adrenaline (as I still am).

Thank you for your words of support, it has really helped!

That’s the attitude of a strong woman (presuming you’re a woman, apologies if not).
I totally agree, there’s something a bit more reassuring about the sun rising again as it does every day. Time ahead of you and a bit of clarity once the dust has settled.
Keep going @stripypillows - whatever it is will pass in time 💐

Just to add, I don’t mean you’re not strong if you cry, but you’ve regrouped and brushed yourself down and tried to face a challenge - it’s very commendable.

Sending you hugs.

Hope you’re feeling a bit better!.

Thank you, that’s nice of you to say x

The dominos have stopped falling but I’ve just got off the merry go round and on to the rollercoaster…heeeelp!

I wish I was surrounded by friends in the pub right now. Virtual pub anyone? I’ll have a beer…

I manage a few people and I can safely say that lots of people are going through difficult times and most don’t share it at all. You largely have no idea what’s happening to those around you as we’re mostly private.

You’re not alone - life happens to all of us - but that doesn’t mean it’s not difficult quite a lot of the time.

one step in front of the other in the meantime and lean on anyone that you feel you can do, if you can.

Single parent here too and feel similarly on the verge of meltdowny.
I’ll join you in the pub! Do you think we can have magic beer that doesn’t dehydrate or give hangovers?

Totally understand OP. Single parent too and since August I’ve non stop issues at home. Appliances and boilers and floods - one after the other. It’s so horrible and frustrating. I have no wise words just don’t be too hard on yourself. Ask for help from whoever you can
sending hugs x