Is this burnt out or depression or normal?

[Onemorehamster]

Is this normal? I have an 8 year old
And a 2 year old. My husband works long long hours and is out the house for 14 hours a day. I look after the children and our 2 dogs and do everything in the house. I feel really really burnt out. But I don’t know why as I don’t work. I clean, wash, school runs, sort all the social events, holidays . Every day I do lots of playgroups/ activities with my toddler. I feel like I’m on a constant hamster wheel and just need a break. I am just so tired and done in. I’m ignoring what’s apps as I feel I have to many people messaging and have to reply to constantly. We always have such busy weekends and social stuff on so yes we get time away from the children but even that’s tiring as it’s not sleeping but going out type thing. I just feel so so tired. I want to hide away from everyone for ages. My 2 year old is very demanding so even if we have a day where we stay home and don’t go to playgroup / play dates it’s just as hard as I can’t rest or anything.

It sounds like you haven't had a break for years. Anyone would be burnt out without a break.

I honestly feel that that's just normal life with kids that age. I was in the same position as you with a DH who worked very long hours and often worked away. As his hours were so irregular and long I stayed at home for the first 3 years and then worked part time for a few years. 2 year olds are very hard work, especially when you're on your own with them all day and the days seem long and hard to fill. But it doesn't last forever. Mine are young men now and looking back it seemed to fly by but at the time the days seem long, I agree. Does your little one go to nursery, even for a few hours a week? That would give you a break just to breathe.

. You say you get time away from the children at the weekends but that it's social so it's still tiring. Why do you plan such busy weekends? You need to timetable "pottering" weekends, with nothing specific on except taking the dogs and kids to the park.

Do you ever get to go for a weekend away, just you and DH? We used to go away once a week for our wedding anniversary, for 2 nights while my mum and dad minded the kids. We would go to a hotel in the Lake District and really take it easy apart from a couple of walks.

The rest of the year, weekends shouldnt' be so bad if you're not working. You can keep on top of housework during the week so don't need to do it all at the weekend like people who work FT have to do. Yes there will be kids' parties to attend, maybe visit relatives. But it won't be manic forever.

And don't plan playgroups or activities every day, that's just exhausting. It's absolutely ok to take it easy a couple of days a week with your toddler. Don't overschedule your life, it's just pointless, and qctually quite hard if you're an introvert because it's a lot of "peopling" which is exhausting in itself. Just potter about at home sometimes.

Your 2 year old, unless he has extra needs, won't be so demanding forever. I honestly used to want to cry with my DS2 when he was that age as he was SO clingy and whinged about everything, god it was so so draining as he just wanted me all the time but nothing I could do made him happy. Now I laugh to myself thinking of that stage as he barely wants to know me, he started university this year and is hardly ever home, gives one word reponses to my texts and it's clear I'm the most boring person in his otherwise exciting life!

Do you get a break? An adult weekend away? With friends or adult family?