Realising just how small my social circle really is

[Daaftasabroosh]

I'm part of a group of girlfriends, age range around 40- 50. The group is/has been slowly disbanding. No fall outs, just people having other priorities. Not previously life long friends. We naturally came together through a mutual hobby class (that no long runs). Without this group I have 2 other separate friends. Who I see every 6-8 weeks. They don't live that close by. I love getting together with them. And old work pals who I see once every 3 months ish.

I'm starting to feel quite lonely. Never felt this before. I have no one I can call on a whim and ask if they fancy drinks at the local in 15 minutes, type of thing. It's only really become apparent to me that the group of friends were my primary social outlet. DH could easily be out every night with mates. I'm embarrassed how small my circle is. I think DH feels sorry for me and reigns-in his going out because of it.

What I've learnt recently about friendships (from making friends with a social butterfly) is how important it is to keep putting yourself in situations where you are meeting new people, even when you already have friends.

My friend has loads of friends. This has happened from her always sitting at the bar and chatting people when she goes out. She uses things like Bumble BFF to make new friends. She puts posts on social media social groups to arrange a ladies brunch, etc.

She doesn't sit in her house moaning about having no mates - like I used to do!

Join some social groups on social media. Go along to different things and you'll meet people. Make friends in different places so you have a few different groups instead of relying on just one.

Yes I agree with PP that it’s important to meet new friends even if you think you have your gang - as that gang can go south any time. It’s hard because for some people (me included) old friends are so much easier and more comfortable to hang out with or make plans with than new people. But everyone was new once.

Another option is to reconnect with old friends who you’ve lost touch with, is there anyone like that? Adding just 1 or 2 people makes a big difference.

The only way to change your situation is to change your behaviour. Go out and make the effort to meet new people.