Could my ex get custody if I die?

[w0rr1ed]

I know this is a morbid question but I'm a single parent and I'm worrying so much about this!

I have a child with my ex, he isn't on the birth certificate and is basically no contact, pops up every now and then.

2 older children, get on with their dad well.

I need to write a new will or sort something out legally. I worry if I die what will happen to my younger child as she doesn't have any family but me and her siblings.

I would want my kids to stay together.

Ideally I would ask for them to all go to my elder children's dad, my children are all so close and I know he would do this as well.

If my younger child's Dad was to suddenly show up and want custody would he get it?

Probably yes

sorry, too short. He could apply to court for the child to be placed in his care and get a declaration of parentage at the same time. He would have some kind of assessment, whether by cafcass or social services, and if there were no safeguarding issues he may be able to have her moved to his care. It depends also on how old the child is and on her wishes. Would your ex be willing to raise her?

Write a will girl

You've got me thinking the same thing 🥺😅

A will can't override parental responsibility (which he could get very easily)

Oh wow 🥺

Thanks both.

Yes I know he could get PR very easily, it's a worry. No safeguarding issues just an uninterested parent I guess. But that's not to say if the worst happened he wouldn't go for it.

So I've spoken to my elder children's dad and he would be willing to do this. The children are all so close, I think he knows it would break their heart not to all be together. He's a decent man, we just got together young and grew apart. He's financially sound, I'm reasonably okay too and would leave everything to him/the kids.

The other thing is my younger child's dad lives hours away. If he got custody I can't see my kids ever seeing each other.

Write a will.

Name the person in your will you want to care for your child as Testamentary Guardian. This person will acquire parental responsibility if there is no surviving parent with parental responsibility for the child. They would still have to apply to the Court if there was a challenge, but would be in the best possible position to carry out your wishes.

Sorry, sobering thoughts.

Do you think he'd want custody on this scenario?
How old is your youngest? At an age where their views would be taken into account ?

Not necessarily. The court would make a decision in the best interests of the child. That's not necessarily going to involve separating them from their siblings and giving primary care to an uninterested father who has been very minimally involved. There is an assumption that contact with biological parents is usually in a child's interests but that doesn't mean it is incapable of being displaced or that the biological parent is necessarily the best person to have day-to-day care.

The court would look at who is best placed to care for your youngest and who can provide the most consistent care. There was a case a few years ago where a mother died of cancer or a similar illness and her long-term friends, rather than the father, were granted care. So it can happen.