Has anybody organised a quinceañera/ sweet 16 for your DD?

[holidayblues25]

My DD decided she wants one, but I never had one (nor my DM for that matter). Do other kids get them? I don't know if it would be OTT for many.

None of the events I attended has a Mass either.

I've seen families emerge from local churches while driving past on random late afternoons on Saturdays, so it's a mixed bag. Also families coming out of the chapels attached to two local RC high schools.

The parties I was invited to along with my DDs, whose friends were the quinceaneras, were so much fun, and for me, a fantastic window into the cultures of my DDs' friends' families. My one DD who was a member of the court for one quinces was really chuffed to be asked and happy to fork over her own money to rent her ball gown and shoes. The party all went to a specific local shop that specialises in quinceanera formal wear. They did proper fittings and alterations, all included in the rental price.

The food at each one was terrific - lots of traditional PR, Mexican, and Cuban dishes, cakes, and desserts. The speeches were very moving - tributes to role models, to the girl herself...

Do a sweet 16! How lovely. My mum never did anything for me.

The dourness...

Where you see hassle and expense, many people see a chance to plan and participate in a very enjoyable experience, and celebrate a milestone with family and friends.

It originated in Spain.

Peak Little Britain there.

Don't downplay it. Don't pander to the misery and dourness.

Explain it's a formal party to mark the 15th birthday, and a part of your cultural heritage. The invitations can include a description of the tradition and an idea of what to expect at the event.

Incorporate as many proper traditions as your daughter wants, and invite people who will add to the occasion.

It's difficult because my DD just wants a big party. I don't think she wants/likes any of the cultural ties attached to it.

The massive dress is a red line though! No quinceañera can be without one!

I would personally say that if you are going to do a quinceanera then don't play down your heritage, it's lovely to celebrate your roots and also it will give context to the other people as to why this means a lot to your dd and her wider family.

My suggestion is to send invites with a little bit of information as to what it it, state the normal time, place etc and the dress code is formal. For the food a buffet is fine but please do some food from your tradition as that would be lovely, really gives context (I love those bluish tortillas, not sure if you can get them in the uk!) I'd do a hot buffet myself where they can fill wraps with fillings of their choice. If you can persuade her to incorporate some traditional music, a special dance or something it might work afterwards it can morph into a normal teen party with plenty on non alcoholic margaritas of course! (Really fancying a traditional margarita now as I have Mexican style pork and corn with guacamole for dinner)

Enjoy, have fun planning, I love a party with a difference, I'm sure others do

The truth is that I don't think my DD wants any of the connection with her "roots". I can't really force her as that would be slightly hypocritical of me. My family (and myself) find them in bad taste, and it was not part of our family traditions.

As for the food, my DD does eat tacos (she loves lamb barbacoa, and eggs and beans) but she won't serve any at her party because it's not "hip nor cool". She's having pasta bread bowls and churros ! (She originally wanted sushi!)

So the quinceañera as long as it's part of my country culture, is not part of my "family culture".

BTW you can definitely get blue corn tortillas here, try Mexgrocer!

My best friend had one when we were kids. It was the best night ever. Tons of her family came, loads of food and dancing. I'm sure nowadays it would be a really upmarket thing, back in my day it was just a family/community event and a wonderful night.

I don't understand the reference! (And I liked Little Britain.)

I think that sounds brilliant op, go for it, your dd will love it.

@holidayblues25 whatever you decide about the party, maybe think twice about the “lolita aesthetic”. It may now be a reference to a Japanese fashion trend but the origins are pretty dark https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolita

@mathanxiety I’m really not. Some of us just find these new American themed parties (15? 16? ) a bit cheesy. By all means let your kids have a party, we did. Family and friends. But no need to make a special ‘thing’ about them. Anyway a “sweet 16” party reeks of sexism.

I’m not keen on “baby showers” either!

We would have due to living in Latin America but we left before DD’s 15th birthday.

Of course I know about Vladimir Nobokov.... But realistically the nomenclature has little to do with the young lady in the book. It's more an idealised Victorian dress/era like many animes from the 70/80s had and zero to do with sexualisation.

I would encourage you to actually read the book before writing it off - it is one of my top 10 novels, largely for the incredible use of language and sound.

the pedophile angle is actually meant to represent the relationship between Europe and America, and is not remotely complementary towards the ‘pedophile’ aka Europe.

but also, as op points out, the fashion trend is completely separate from the book.

In what century? If so, it has been dead for a very very very long time.

Doggie quinceañera!