Child's SEN needs changing - Yr 7 offer now looks in doubt

[Dumbmum101]

Hi there

My 10-year-old son has ASD/ADHD and an EHCP. His junior school has supported him well, but he’s recently disengaged from learning. Our preferred mainstream secondary initially rejected him, saying they couldn't meet his need. However, the LA agreed with us it would be the best fit for DS, so it has now been named on his EHCP, though I worry the school might appeal in the light of his recent struggles to 'access the curriculum'.

His ADHD fog is severe - he absorbs learning in bursts. ADHD meds has had a really positive impact in the past and he definitely needs a medication review (coming up in 3 weeks). Whilst the school agree he seems bright, he needs significant support with executive function (getting started, staying on track, navigating his way round school etc).

I’m now questioning if a specialist school would be better, but local options cater to children with much lower academic ability. Are we in denial about his needs, thinking only of his potential academic ability over the support he truly requires?

I find it hard to get answers from the school about where he would be best suited - I think they have to be very careful about what they say to parents. Would a private Ed Psych be able to give us a better answer e.g. 'it's unlikely mainstream would suit your child'. Or perhaps 'It might be better to start him off in a SEN setting, then move him to mainstream when/if his executive function skills improve'.

I am also really concerned this has all come to a head AFTER we submitted our preferences. I don't think we would have a chance of getting into a local SEN school now.

I could have written this OP.
My DS has started refusing to go to school due to anxiety.
Same issues as your lad.
I’m at a loss as to what to do myself so can’t offer advice but solidarity!

I have no real advice, but just wanted to say your DS sounds very similar to my DS, who is now Year 9.

He is at a mainstream school & thrived in Year 7, winning an award even! Then developed epilepsy which has ever since being playing havoc with his concentration. But he is doing ok, well in some subjects even & taking 8/9 GCSEs. He is very happy.

He has a lot of support both in class & around the school from both staff & other pupils. He is never alone (in case of seizures). It does mean that we have to assist heavily with homework, to the extent it means I cannot work full time.

But I just wanted to reassure you that with the right support, it is possible to succeed in MS.

Sorry, just seen your DS is still in primary. Mine is Y7 and it’s been an awful transition into seniors.
It seems there’s so little support for kids like ours who are bright but have a host of other issues.
I found that in primary his needs were managed better but the overstimulation of a large senior school, class behaviour, navigating his way around, managing homework and low level bullying are turning my boy into an anxious, withdrawn child.

@changedmyname24 thanks for the positive perspective. I am concerned though as I hear that you don't/won't get 1-2-1 support in senior mainstream schools. But that should depend on their budget within their EHCP surely?

@TightPants Yes - this is all playing on my mind a lot. So sorry to hear it's been so tough for your DS.

I guess it depends on how good the individual school is on transitions and support. We pushed for this school as it has a very good reputation for discipline, bullying and SEN support. But obviously it means the school is now massively over-subscribed for SEN children. Which I am now wracked with middle-class guilt about....

@Dumbmum101 Well hopefully your DS will get the support he needs in the new school. It’s encouraging that they have a good reputation for supporting SEN.
My son was fixated on attending his school (as a friend of his was there in the year above, whom he now never sees).

I’ve found that there has been a lot of talk but not much action from the school.
I can’t imagine how teachers are supposed to remember the needs/difficulties of individual kids when they see so many each day, but he’s falling through the net and it’s so worrying.

I can only comment from my son's perspective, he has had 1-1 support all the way through, in & out of lessons. They even collect him from the car in the morning & bring him to it after lessons. His SENCO is fab & arranged for an increase in 1-1 hours recently when his epilepsy got worse.

I also found learning at senior school to be easier for DS as moving classrooms mean natural movement breaks, plus it is very compartmentalised. Each subject has its own room & it's own teacher, so no blurring of lines. Ideal for DS' autistic brain that loves to categorise things.

To be clear, DS is behind his peers academically, apart from in reading, where he is strong (but not exceptional). It's only when talking to him that you sense there is a very astute mind in there somewhere. Maths is too abstract for him - he just doesn't get it - but he can add and take away 3 or 4-digit numbers. But he hasn't ever got to grips with multiplication and division beyond memorising a few basic times tables (patchy). But I wonder if it will be like his reading - there will be a sudden 'penny drop' moment, and we'll see a sudden step change in his ability.

His ADHD makes it very hard for him to 'apply' what he understands. So he can't demonstrate what's inside his brain ever. Handwriting is bad but improving - but that's quite a classic issue for ASD.

Unfortunately, he isn't much of the 'cateorising/organising' ASD profile. It's like the ASD and the ADHD pull him in two different directions constantly. Which in in some instances looks like 'balance' (he's reasonably social and outgoing - although socially clumsy at times). He is very likely to be overwhelmed by the noise, crowds, long corridors and different rooms of a senior school.

One to one support is a third of the cost of a special school place so the council will be keen to put that in place over a school move if you think it will work.
However, you could see how it goes? If the school has a good reputation they might come up with some clever and creative options which could help him too.

I would have a serious think about what you and he want for his future though. Kids with an ehcp can stay in education until they are 25. He has plenty of time to get the qualifications he needs so I would prioritise mental health during early secondary years. If you can find somewhere that he enjoys going and will engage with learning, even if it isn't every day, then that is a huge part of the battle over and you can slowly build on that as he matures and his medication is sorted out. Does he want to go to uni? Is he a creative? What sorts of things will he need to get a job and how can you support him to get those? Noone needs 9 GCSEs to do what they do and that formal learning doesn't suit quite a lot of neuro divergent kids.

@Geneticsbunny Thanks so much for this insight. Of course, you are right about him having plenty of time, and we are very comfortable with that. I am not at all precious about him getting 9 GCSEs.

It's just a difficult choice as it's hard to see a clear path as all the options have pros and cons.

I think how he would be happiest is a combination of homeschooling with me, and a local forest school. But we probably can't afford that 5 days a week and I am trying to set up my own business currently. Also - I worry homeschooling would damage our relationship a bit. (Burnt by homeschooling in lockdown).

In a perfect world, I would like him to eventually gravitate towards taking a few GCSEs when he feels ready and supplementing with courses in whatever interests him at the time (he's taught himself Scratch coding to quite a good level in the last year).

If programming is his thing OP then I would jump on that, I did the same with my DS who has ASD and he's now working as a software engineer! If he is confident with scratch then the next step when he's ready is moving onto python - DS was very reluctant to make the step as it is quite a big one having to do the typing yourself rather than just moving the blocks around, but once they realise how much more then can do then (in ds's case anyway) there's no looking back!

Maybe something like this would be good,
https://www.youtube.com/@KidsCodingPlayground/search

@Jade520 Yeah - we actually looked at Python first (think there was a £3 book in Aldi) and he had a bash, but it was a bit abstract. My developer colleague at the time reminded me about Scratch (he had noodles around with Scratch Junior when he was about 6).

At this point he just wants to make video games. But that's still a valid, creative and fulfilling career choice in my book.

You can't get a GCSE for being a stand-up comedian, which is his other most likely career path 😆

Schools can do something called Flexi schooling where the child attends a certain number of days a week and goes to a different setting for the other days. That could be an option maybe? 2 days at forest school and 3 at mainstream with a one to one?

Don't do home schooling if you don't want to. There are always other options. Another thing that some families I know do is have a tutor at home, so outsource the home ed.

This would be amazing - but as the mainstream school is oversubscribed, I doubt they would be motivated to offer a flexi place when they could easily fill the space for a full-time student.

This is a lovely and helpful post. Saving this for when my son gets to this stage thank you.

So glad I can be helpful. That advice was forged over many years, with lots of tears and difficult decisions.