I need to get some help please.
I see a lot of disfunction with my mother who is in her 70s. My mind is leaning towards the possibilty of dementia however her memory seems to be somewhat good. What I see is behavioural and mood stuff and some other things and there just so many things not going right.
Every day is different and then sometimes she does have moments of clarity and sometimes she can understand things. Other times she's either flat or easily angered and every day is different. There are so many odd things and some obsessions and complusions and she doesn't talk to me properly any more. Like she will not have any proper conversation with me like - how are you?,.did you sleep well? What's your day like? How was xyz? Things like that. Instead she asks - did I hear from my brothers and that's her only interest in life.
There is just so many things that are off.
My siblings live abroad and when they are home they dont see anything wrong with her. You see her old habits and routines kick in and she focuses on minding them and doing everything for them but then she does act out behing it all to me and becomes easily engaged.
I chatted to her GP a few times but I got nowhere with any diagnosis. They did call her in for a check up but that's hard now too. She is defiant easily. Aside from that there is no progress with any diagnosis. They wrote me off citing 'any memory loss?'.
Memory loss hasn't been an observation as such. Unless I could actually say she is forgetting how to behave and converse.
My mental health is on the floor with this. It's so depressing. She can be challaging to be around at times and then other times she is ok. I have a housing difficulty and I live at home. I used to be ok and positive about this but it is so hard now. I am so so so so so depressed and withdrawn. I try not to show it but I am. I need help. I need a diagnosis. Rule dementia in or out. I think if I had a diagnosis it would be somewhat better in that I could understand more and i think I might be able to draw on supports like care for her. Also before she wrecks more and more of her personal relationships.
It appears as if the GPs don't care and they want to see her struggle more with day to day living tasks before there's any problem worth referring onwards for. I don't know what the GPs goals are. Or to try and treat her locally for as long as possible before referring into a hospital. She is somewhat ok with day to day living tasks like making her breakfasts and changing her clothes and laundry. Her diet is very limited now. I don't know if she cooks when I am at work. When we had some cold spells I noticed she was very poor with planning and organising. I wanted to get fuel for the fireplace but she was very angry about that saying the cold will only last for a week and they were will be into spring. She just presumed that February and march will be warmer months when I know from before that we can sometimes get some colder spells. She was angry about that but I also noticed that she's paranoid as if the chimney will go on fire and she spent most of her time outside looking up at the chimney.
She's just not behaving well.
But I am on my own with all of this.
I think her mother was likely the same. The only information I got from my mother about her own mother was that she was crazy in her old age and needed help in a nursing home. I asked my mother of she had dementia and my mother happily replied that she did but it was very mild because she never forgot.
What she said about her own mother goes to show that she never understood own mothers dementia because there's nothing mild about dementia when it's a progressive disease with the brain failing. Also this is a red flag towards a type of dementia know as FTD. Where memory can be retained but it presents with behavioural and mood stuff. Apparently according to Google FTD can run in families too. I would put money at this stage on this. I really think her mother had FTD and I now thing my mother has it too. My mother definitely has a cognitive decline but it's presenting with mood and behavioural stuff and other things.
I am in a very bad place tonight after the day I had.
I am really thinking about contacting one of my aunties to see if I could get any help from her. I know she was a nurse and she is retired now and she was more hands on with their mother too. But then I also have a massive fear too in that what if my aunt talks this back to the rest of their siblings and family and what if my suspicions are gossiped around the family and someone talks it back to my mother? This is the only thing stopping me from reaching out to my aunt.