I am really struggling with a lot at the moment, it's mostly work causing the issues but there are other things going on as well and I don't know how to fix any of it & it's causing some really bad stress which I know is not good especially as I'm 18 weeks pregnant.
With the pregnancy, this is my third but 1st baby. The 1st was a missed miscarriage with twins which was a really traumatic time. I then had an ectopic pregnancy which was also horrendous. This pregnancy has been going well so far but it's obviously been a nerve wracking time for us as it is.
With work - there was a massive change recently within the business. Basically my two bosses are no longer working there, I have had to move office and we've been locked out of our old office (I had some personal items in the office like headphones, lip balm, hand cream etc. nothing major or expensive but personal items I've been told I won't be able to get back). I can't stand the people I now report to, they are rude, spiteful and often cause offense. Some examples is that we had an office meeting, in this meeting the shareholder commented "bloody foreigners". He also said in front of everyone that I don't know anything & when asked what he meant he doubled down, repeated, went on a rant and said I didn't know anything.
I hate the way things are done in the business now. It used to be fast paced, productive and we had a level of freedom to get on with our work, but in the meeting they told us we were going to be micromanaged going forwards. The 'higher ups' have meetings about meetings about meetings. Everything goes round in very slow circles, nothing gets approved or paid so I (understandably) constantly get moaned at by people outside the company.
I find the new office toxic, only 1 person says hello in the mornings & bye in the evenings, no one else speaks when anyone walks in. When people do speak it's to moan and complain about everything and everyone. My old bosses are slagged off constantly and one of my lovely colleagues is about to be told to leave because his Dad is friends with someone the owner of the business doesn't like (this was genuinely said in the office). The toilet is also downstairs and I work upstairs (no lift), so not helping anything as I'm feeling crappy at the moment.
Then, my close relative just died - on her last day I was with her at the hospital and someone from work wouldn't stop calling and texting me (they knew I had it booked as a holiday and that I was with my dying Grandma) even when I said please stop as I was in the hospital with her - it wasn't anything that couldn't wait.
I was also expected to attend a site visit on a weekend (we don't work weekends), there is no reason it couldn't wait until the Monday or even be sorted the Friday before - I said no to this.
There is so much more but long story short I absolutely hate it (and I know other people do to), I dread going to work every day which is such a 180 from how it was before. I get a headache everyday from the stress & the office which has no daylight or fresh air.
To top this all off my step son isn't liking school, so in the past couple of weeks he has been refusing to go. Where my husband isn't letting him stay at home (which his Mum does) SS is now having meltdowns before coming to our house saying he doesn't want to come (he's 13). Obviously my H needs to support my SS during this but I really feel like I also need more support than my husband is able to give as he is stretched very thin (he is running the family business). We're both not sleeping much either.
My back is also killing me. I have this ache I get it every day as the day goes on, it also comes with a really bad tender feeling/pain under my left rib. I've raised it with my Doctors twice who didn't get back to me, and three midwives who have all blamed my body changing or hormones but I feel like it's just not right, it's been going on for the whole 18 weeks now and I'm really struggling to know how I'm going to keep going with it as it is. I have also been getting dizziness and headaches which has been pretty miserable but again they just said it was hormones.
I keep being told by family and friends to go off sick but I just can't get my head around how that would work with pay and maternity leave and I don't know why but I feel like maybe I'm not ill enough or stressed enough for it anyway. I originally was going to start mat leave as late as I can but I think I'm going to have to start probably around 4/5 weeks before the due date now which will be in July. I have 19 days holiday I want to use in a chunk before that but I am waiting for work to get back to me (they need to have a meeting to approve it). I just need to figure out how to cope with everything until then. June or July feels like a very long way away at the moment.
I usually am very level headed but my head feels foggy at the moment and I would appreciate any advice.