I’ve just reported a colleague

[ohhowiloveyou]

I’m panicking about what’s going to happen. He hasn’t done anything to me beyond being way too physical - lots of hugs including from behind, lots of sitting very close to me for no reason. Two weeks ago walked into my office when I was alone, and stood way too close behind me, breathing down my neck. I didn’t want that and felt really uncomfortable, it was really early into the day and no one else was around. I felt really upset to the point I ended up ringing my friend from the toilet.

I was seriously assaulted several years ago. So I’m very on guard. I don’t like hugs from men I don’t know.

Finally admitted to a colleague today and blurted out how uncomfortable I am and that I don’t know what to do. They don’t know what happened years ago. She is HR person for this sort of thing.

He has significant previous. I’m guessing I shouldn’t have been told that but I didn’t ask to hear it, colleague said she told me as she wanted to reassure me I’m not imagining and said she needed to tell higher up. I’ve told her she can but anonymously.

I ended up in tears as she explained (missing names) a catalogue of this stuff and much worse. Fuck. They have been trying to get it sorted for a long time.

I am guessing confidentiality is out the window if she was happy to tell me all he’s already done, and worried that by tomorrow half the place will know what I’ve said. I’m panicking about going back in there, what if they use this as an excuse to get rid of me? I’m newer than him, he’s got years on me.

I can understand you’d be stressed about the situation but I think you’ve been really brave. Hopefully the company can do something about it with this new information. It should be confidential that it was you who reported it. If no one reports this sort of behaviour then he will get away with it and probably continue to do so. You should be proud of yourself.

It sounds rather like they want to get rid of him OP, not the other way around!

Please don't worry, you've done nothing wrong, I wouldn't repeat a word of what your friend told you to anyone (not that I think you were going to, but you're right, they probably shouldn't have said it) and if they ask you to go 'on the record' with your complaint then I would do so - if it were me - you may or may not feel up to it and it's your choice, but to take proper action against him they may need actual evidence in the form of a statement etc, so remaining anonymous might hamper the disciplinary process.

If everyone was as brave as you, there would be fewer creeps in the workplace who feel entitled to touch other people’s bodies! I understand why you’re panicking, but if this person was able to recall several other occurrences off the top of their head, there’s probably also loads of stuff that never even got reported. You could have stopped something similar happening to someone else ☺️

Well done, that was a very brave thing you did.

He's sexually harassing you. I'm glad you've disclosed it- your report might prevent him doing this to another woman in the future.

So sorry you are experiencing this behaviour. It’s completely wrong anywhere but in a workplace you expect to be protected and kept safe by the organisation. Remember that’s their job so you’ve done the right thing letting them know and if there are any negative consequences they need to make sure you don’t feel bad coming to work. That’s for the to work out. Well done for speaking out, it’s never easy and it’s ok to feel nervous going forward but it sounds like this couldn’t carry on.

You did so well. Seriously it's great that you've spoken up

Also it just goes to show that you can trust your gut. Sounds like your instinct here were bang on. But crucially if you're being made to feel uncomfortable then you're right to raise it. Even if it's 'just' X, or 'at least he didn't do Y'. You shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable and it's not ok.

I wouldn't worry about her telling anyone. She told you because you reported similar behaviour, that he had previous complaints.

You hadn't heard about the previous complaints so she obviously doesn't talk about them to anyone apart from in appropriate context.

Good for you OP. It takes courage to report these creeps. Well done.

That’s a very good and brave thing you’ve done. He shouldn’t be able to get away with it and hopefully you’ve stopped him doing this to others. Well done for speaking up.