Why do I keep mulling over this?

[Bestwishes23]

I had an abusive childhood. It was awful and it's on my mind more as of late, I'm not sure why. I've recently had some major life events (positive ones) and yet they seem to have made me dwell on it more. I'm not sure what the purpose of this thread is really, I guess I just want to ask if anyone can relate?

I’ve found I ruminate more as I get older. I think it got worse in peri for me, and I think anxiety is the cause.

Thanks for your reply. Yes, there is an element of anxiety to it, I think.

I get the same sometimes.

I think it’s because when something good happens, I feel like I don’t deserve it or it won’t last?

Is counselling an option for you?

Same here, wondering if it's to do with getting older.

Can't change anything and hindsight is wonderful...

i am trying to replace them with positive thoughts and activities.

I was having terrible trouble with general anxiety and overthinking/ruminating to the point that it was making me physically ill. I was considering counselling when I came across The Little Book of Overthinking (How to Stop the Cycle of Worry) by Gwendoline Smith. She’s a psychiatrist and the book is written as a series of sessions with her that you work through. She writes in an easy, friendly style and I found it really relatable. I worked through the book and it made a huge difference to my physical and mental health. You might find it useful, in any event I hope you find something that helps with how you are feeling.

Here’s a link if you fancy taking a look.
Little Book of Overthinking

My own children reaching the age when my big things occurred was a huge trigger for me.

Maybe a good time to looking into a few counselling sessions. It doesn't have to be a big commitment.

The feeling that it won't last definitely resonates.

I've sent some emails to some counsellors this afternoon, so hopefully I can get that process moving.

Thanks for your reply.

Thank you for the book suggestion - I have just ordered it.