Fussy Eating 8yr Old Son - help!

[IceHockeyMum]

My son is 8, soon to be 9, and throughout his entire life he has been really fussy with what he eats. For example - I took him out for lunch today as a treat, and had to order an additional pizza as the first was too crunchy. He then proceeded to pick off any crispy parts of the pizza and didn't eat any crusts. Dessert time... vanilla ice cream, always the choice and will never deviate from that - even at home. I mentioned to the staff that he was fussy in ear shot of my son, which I shouldn't have, which then caused a little back and forth between us... "I heard you call me fussy" etc.

The packed lunch for school is the same, every day, and has to remain the same or the lunch will come back uneaten. He has had the same packed lunch since pre-school and he is now in year 4.

His father and I haven't been together since he was 1 years of age. The dinner arrangements are inconsistent... he might have dinner with his father every now and again but will primarily have it once we're back home.

As with the school lunches, its the same evening meals on repeat... pasta with basic tomato sauce, vegan sausage rolls with potato shapes or cheese and tomato pizza. These meals are the same if we go out anywhere to eat.

I'm not sure where I've gone so wrong, and not sure how to start the breaking of 'fussy eating'.

Not sure if this makes a difference, but my son is an only child and vegetarian.

Reaching out for any advice to make a start with this as it is starting to impact home and our collective social/family life.

Thank you in advance!

Has he a diagnosis?

Can he agree to have one mouthful of something new each day

He might be old enough to have a conversation asking him why he doesn’t like trying new foods and if there is anything that would help him try a bit more. I would also talk about healthy eating from time to time and see if he’d try a mouthful of something different regularly. TBH I would continue providing his usual diet too and not making an issue of it at all, at least he’s settled on things that are quick and easy to prepare! Does he eat junk, sweet things, fruit ,veggies?

Thanks for the reply! no diagnosis... I'm not sure at what stage you go down that route as he still eats... any thoughts?

one new mouthful a day is a great idea, I will definitely make a start with that today!

Thanks for the reply!

He is quite happy to eat certain sweet things, but really plain, simple sweet things, certain fruits (apple, banana, pineapple & grapes) and veggies go as far as potato, unless I can hide veggies in pasta sauce etc.

I will definitely explore the conversations with him to try and understand what it is that he struggles with. He's an intelligent little boy but quite sensitive to feedback so I will approach in the most positive way possible.

I didn't know whether working towards trying hot school dinners would be an option, with him choosing the options.

Will also be trying the 'something new everything day'.

Thanks so much!

I think when the previous poster asked about ‘a diagnosis’, they meant a diagnosis of neurodiversity such as autism or ADHD, which can be linked with restricted eating.

My DD was similar, OP, so you have my sympathy! She has got better now at almost 10, but for a long time she would only eat a couple of meals with us (spaghetti bolognaise, sausages and mash), and for every other dinner time meal she would have a potato waffle, plain cooked chicken, and peas. She still has that occasionally if she doesn’t like what we’re having. She takes a daily multivitamin as I was worried about her getting enough nutrients.

I found it very difficult and probably didn’t handle it as well as I should have - I’d get frustrated with her for not eating, and was quite stressed about it. The advice is to not make a big deal about the restricted eating, and offer new food without any pressure.

Interestingly, now DD is older she can articulate what she doesn’t like, and it’s often to with texture or strong tastes - I think she has very sensitive tastebuds. She’s also more willing to try new things. So things mat improve as your DS gets older.

Sounds somewhat similar to my vegetarian son, although it sounds as though he eats a few more different foods to your son. Albeit very plain veg, plain fruit, plain yoghurt, plain pasta, and pizza and so on.

I did my best over the years to try to make him eat more foods and it failed. I decided that an easy life is better for us all, and just make him the same plain foods on rotation ensuring he eats all the basic food groups. He does get lots of plain fruit and veg with every meal. It drives me nuts cutting up carrots every day but that is what works and we stick to it.

He is now 12 and showing a little more bravery about trying new things. He will try different flavoured drinks, different flavoured sweets and a mouthful of other foods (but never likes them).

I suspect he is very slowly growing out of it but it's about choosing your battles I think. No need to make life more difficult for all of you. Encourage him to try but don't get upset if he doesn't change and expect for him to get slowly better. Doesn't mean not offering new foods but try to make it easy on you and him by not getting yourself in a pickle and wasting time cooking foods he might eat trying to change him - that is frustrating - just see how it is in a couple more years - I suspect it will change a bit as he goes to secondary etc.

This is my DGS to a T. Has the same lunch every single day! Very restricted dinners and will only go out to 2 restaurants. Won't surprise any of the Mum's to ND kids that he's recently had an ASD diagnosis to go in top of everything else!

My dd was a really fussy eater when she was little she is much better now she an adult but still avoids certain texture foods. She does have a diagnosis of ADHD and ASD.
When she was little she had 8 safe foods and wouldnt eat anything else.