Children’s memory/recall - what is normal?

[Cheeseontoasti]

I have two DC, aged 6 and 2.5. If you ask 6 yo what he’s done that day (or eaten or whatever) he says he doesn’t remember and it’s hard to get him to recall it. One day at school they even had an animal handler from the local children’s zoo (brought in snakes and the like) annd he didn’t mention anything when I asked him about his day. Otherwise he has an excellent memory for facts, details, etc.

On the other hand, 2.5 yo will easily recal events of the day and what she’s eaten. For example, if I am talking to my husband and say something like “we ate at the museum,” she will say “I ate a croissant with jam and an orange and had apple juice with a straw,” even if the museum was 1-2 days ago. Or she says she’s played cars with Georgie, Carys, and Olivia at nursery, they had pesto pasta, and did sand play after their nap. Are they both just in a range of normal? It’s so funny to me that they are so different.

It’s normal that DC don’t remember what they have done at school at that age. Children’s brains aren’t very good at organising memories, storing them long term and retrieving them at 5/6, and they will have done a million things at school. It’s why most people can’t remember much about early childhood. Then, once their brains get better at it, they don’t want to/can’t be bothered tell you 😂 I’m sure someone who knows more about neuroscience can give a better explanation.

If you try giving cues, he will probably remember more eg did you play with X or Y at playtime, did you do phonics this morning etc.

I’d argue that it’s probably laziness more than anything - the typical ‘what have you done today at school DD?’ would always be answered by I don’t know! She actually had an amazing memory and still does.

Thank you, I suppose it is a stereotype for a reason! Would you say then that my 2 yo’s memory is odd?

Sounds like a pretty accurate description of my 3 & 6 year olds tbh. My eldest basically can't be bothered/is tired/doesn't want to talk about his day so he tells me he can't remember. If I ask him in a better mood about specific events that he can generally answer yes or no I can get an accurate picture so it's not an actual memory issue more a communication one. My youngest is much more detailed and communicative (at the moment).