Mother in law

[SwordToFlamethrower]

Been here since Wednesday visiting. I've begged dh to leave ASAP today as I have had ENOUGH.

10 years of her belittling me, judging my appearance, my weight, my intentions, everything!

10 years ago when I first met dh, she said that breastfeeding a child for more than 12 months is weird at best, a perverted sick pleasure at worst. I knew she would have a shock if we had children as I was planning on extended breastfeeding.

Our dd is 2 years old now and when she had just turned 13 months, mil came to visit us and laid into me as I was nursing. Saying

There is no nutritional benefit to human milk

Cows milk is far superior

She will be malnutritioned and won't grow to be tall

My dh had to tell her to mind her business. She burst into tears and said how she only says these things because she cares.

Yesterday we all went to the park and met up with mil best friend of 16 years, same age as me (mil is in her 70s)

We were talking about all kinds of things, it was really nice, including menopause and hrt.

Then breastfeeding got mentioned. Mil said "there is a higher risk of breast cancer for you (me) because you have bigger breasts than us." While pointing. OK. Not true.

Then her friend said "yes but that chance lowers when you breastfeed."
Mil said "oh yes we all breastfed our children didn't we!"

Her best friend said "I breastfed my daughter for 6 years!"
I looked at her, then mil and said "wow did you really!? That's amazing, well done"

I looked my mil dead in the eyes and she just stood there smiling. All the shit she said to me and accused me of, came flooding back.

Of course she wouldn't have called her best friend a pervert or a pedo or even blamed her breastfeeding on why she had a miscarriage like she said to me (I had a miscarriage last year).

I wanted to both scream and cry. Her friend was lovely. I really liked her. Why does my mil treat me so badly. I know why. It's because I took her darling Prince away from her.

I'm still so angry and hurt. I have refused her hospitality since yesterday. I don't want to stay here another minute. Train leaves at midday.

Thanks for letting me rant.

Google covert narcissist. That's what my MIL is. She has her real persona and then her outside false persona she shows everyone else. She's bonkers!

We've also had breastfeeding insults but more around me struggling to feed and her telling me how her milk just gushed in and she could do one feed and her baby would sleep for 12 hours. Yeah right! 😂

So sorry OP. What a poisonous woman your MIL is. Even more than you thought actually. Have you been able to tell your DH what transpired at the park? I imagine it might be hard if she is earwigging. Can he take her out of the house for a coffee before the train so she’s out of your house? I would want to never see or speak to her again but families are tough. Thinking of you. She is SO nasty.

Oh you poor dear, she sounds a horror! WHO advice is to breastfeed until age 2 and so many mothers continue after then too. It really is none of her business and certainly not something to try and use viciously against you. Whilst everything is fresh why not speak to dh and lay put the ground rules going forward? From today you will never accept any slights or criticism from her and will not oblige stays and contact if she does it again. Leave him to tell her in no uncertain terms to zip it and stop her disgusting behaviour towards you. Don't tolerate it any more and he's going to have be much more proactive in laying out the new rules of engagement with her and you, it's not even a topic for discussion.good luck, and know that I and many others on here support you fully in setting boundaries with her about something so private and special for a breastfeeding mum.

I’d have said something to her there and then but it’s easy for me to say and hard to do because you are conditioned as a women to keep things nice and be silent.

honestly I’d be packing my bags and leaving with my child(ren) and DH could come or make his own way home. If that meant acting “crazy” or blowing things up I’d do it but I have had a rough week and am on last good nerve putting up with shit from people who clearly give zero fucks about me..