Extreme insomnia - does anyone else experience anything like this?

[Becauseofthebigpen]

I can sleep fine most of the time but every two-three weeks or so experience absolutely awful insomnia. I've barely slept for three nights now. It's really difficult to deal with. Then once I'm through it I know I'll probably have at least a week, more likely two or three or even more, before I have problems again. But when I do they'll be just as extreme.

All the usual advice about insomnia seems to be aimed at people with less extreme problems and/or who experience them more frequently. I feel quite lonely in what I'm going through, and have a lot of self-loathing at 4am.

I will talk to the GP and see if they can put me on a CBT type programme. I also need to admit it may be perimenopause - I'm mid 40s and the problems started 2-3 years ago. (Although I was also a terrible sleeper as a teenager and young adult too.)

Just looking for people who can relate really. Even better if anyone has any words of advice. (Do antihistamines help? I'm thinking about getting some for tonight.)

are you taking magnesium glycinate before bed?
Anxiety, even if I don’t realise I’ve got it, affects my sleep.
Get a good sleep routine in place, I always go to bed at 10pm and read a book, no phone or tv in my room.
and occasionally I pop an antihistamine.

Are you practising good sleep hygiene? When you wake in the early hours, what do you do - lie there ruminating and worrying about getting back to sleep or do you get up, make a warm drink and read, watch something (not on your phone) or listen to soothing music, noise of some sort or a meditation, etc until you feel properly tired and ready for sleep again? Sometimes bed can feel like a place of torture if you're not sleeping.

Two things I have e found disrupt my sleep are alcohol and poor diet. I've found taking B12 seems to have e helped me sleep better too.

Yes antihistamines help….

Thirded. They leave me much less groggy than zopiclone too.

I posted a few days ago about a similar problem that I am going through.

I am incredibly anxious and stressed at the moment with work mainly being the culprit.

Last week I couldn't sleep at all. I spent two nights with only an hours sleep in 48 hours and felt so unwell. Every time I would begin to pass out from exhaustion my body would jerk me awake with crazy symptoms of anxiety.

My GP has put me on a small dose of anxiety meds but I don't think it's kicked in yet.

I have no advice. My sleep this weekend has been lovely but I really fear next week will be the same shit.

I've tried antihistamines, sleeping tablets, meditation chamomile tea sleep hygiene . None of it has worked.

But you are not alone x

OP my friend just got diagnosed as being half way through peri (she thought maybe it was just beginning!) and her sleep was always great for about half the month and really bad the other half. The doctor said it was for her directly related to the drip in estrogen levels every month (apparently estrogen directly affects sleep).

Yes, and it's horrible. Last week I would have given £1000 for five hours sleep.

I’m 46 and peri menopausal but i’ve suffered with periods of insomnia all my adult life. It’s different now though.

I often wake at 3/4 am and struggle to go back to sleep or i take ages to go to sleep. i am wondering if it’s to do with hormone levels as
my cycles are going haywire now too. It’s not very night and some weeks i’ll sleep fine.

Ive tried everything over the years nothing works long term! I eat healthily, exercise,yoga, get out in fresh air, vit d, don’t drink caffeine in an afternoon, stop eating by 6pm. I’ve tried nytol too, kalms ( work sometimes) magnesium glycinate every night which helped initially but not sure now tbh. I’ve tried getting up and i sometimes can nap on the couch but sometimes not. I have piriton ( non brand version) for if i wake very early and sometimes that helps me doze back off.

I do have some anxiety which appeared at 40 so agin i do link it to peri/pandemic times too(work in hospital) Not medicated.

Night nurse is another you can try.
And if you’re on HRT, I found taking the oestrogen at night affected me, so I use it in the morning

Thank you everyone for your replies. It's really helpful just to know I'm not alone. 4am can feel like a very lonely time.

I've not tried magnesium or valerian root. Maybe I should give those a go before the antihistamines.

My sleep hygiene is not awful but could be better. In particular I generally don't get up if I can't sleep... I just carry on lying there. It feels like wasted potential sleep time to get up, and I worry that if I still can't sleep I'll be up and down like a yo yo all night. But I know it's the standard advice so I should probably do it.

I already have phone turned to flight mode, no caffeine after 5pm, very limited alcohol etc.

Hi, no advice as I have been suffering for over 20 years but just wanted to say you are not alone. Cherry juice or scrambled eggs of an evening seem to help and I tend to sleep better when I have done yoga that day

Move your caffeine cut off to earlier - 2 or 3 pm. Worth a try. Have carbs with your evening meal.

I take a piriteze for bed. I can't sleep naturally anymore. Sometimes it'll still be 2am before I get to sleep but most of the time it'll drift me off.

I don't get up either. Lying with eyes closed is still restful for you at the minimum.

I suffered with chronic insomnia for years. I used to use occasional Phenergan which worked well.

However, clearly it was anxiety that was the biggest culprit because since starting Sertraline it is 100% better.

I have horrible insomnia but noticed it was much worse the week before my period was due. Given the frequency of your symptoms might be something similar? I don't have an answer and have tried several things but you are not alone.

Was going to say this too - I'm 46 and this happens to me sometimes when my period is due. Last night was dreadful, actually. I turned the clock off so it wouldn't stress me more, but it must have been about 5am before I dropped off, and I've woken at 9. I was too hot, too cold, needed a wee, thoughts racing, the whole shebang.

I do take mag glycinate, which seems to help the rest of the month. It helps me to know it's hormonal. I can just accept a bad night or two if I'm confident I'll go back to normal after that (fingers crossed it doesn't get worse). I just do my best to get comfortable and cosy and read something nice/non-stressful (so a book, NOT doomscrolling the internet). And accept I may have to have a power nap this afternoon.

I agree with moving your caffeine cutoff time to earlier in the day. Caffeine has affected me more as I've got older and I now stop at around lunchtime or 2pm at the latest.

I have always had an insomnia problem and it generally comes in waves, so one bad night usually turns into three bad nights. TBH I have stopped caring about it, and that seems to have improved it a bit. What I never do anymore is talk about it with a health professional as they are always keen to impress on me how important a good night's sleep is for my health. Which inevitably results in me lying awake night after night blaming myself for my inability to sleep. Their advice is always sleeping tablets which I don't want, or lifestyle stuff that I already do. I just nod and agree and try to forget the conversation as soon as possible.

What helps depends on what's keeping me awake. One paracetamol tablet is useful if I have muscle ache, because what's barely noticeable while awake and moving around can still be enough to keep me awake when trying to sleep. I used to use melatonin, a low dose, but I haven't for a while. I find a sleepy anti-histamine lingers on and makes me groggy the next day.

I find it useful to push my thoughts in a good direction to avoid the spinny brain issue. I design fantasy houses, all the way, to the tiniest detail like the tiles in the bathroom or cedar cladding in the walk-in wardrobe. I have a house plan for Malaysia, one for the Rocky Mountains, one for a big city apartment, one for a beach house. There might be something that you are mildly interested in that you could mentally do, like redo a walk that you have taken or replant your garden all in a particular colour.

I don’t have caffeine after 12 md now, and I’ve cut out alcohol as that was definitely affecting sleep.

I have this and I call it period insomnia. Usually about a week before I'm due. I do take magnesium every night and if I'm having a bad night (I can usually tell after 30 mins if it's going to be a bad night) I take an antihistamine.

I've had lifelong insomnia and I only have caffeine in the morning. In some people, caffeine stays in the system much longer than others so I don't trust it.

Yes, I have had periods where I don't sleep for entire nights on the trot. Sleep begets sleep, not exhaustion. I find that I get too exhausted to sleep after a while.

I recommend magnesium glycinate an hour before bed, very dim lights all evening, white noise to sleep to, keeping the room fairly cool, very dark, and also an audiobook to listen to so you can at least lie down with your eyes closed relaxing. Tell yourself you just want a little rest rather than stressing about trying to get a whole night of sleep.

A bedtime snack of eggs can help too, as PP suggested. Eggs contain tryptophan, which makes you feel sleepy.

Thank you so much everyone. Yes it could be cycle-related, but it's difficult to know as I have the mirena coil and am definitely ovulating less than I used to.

You've given me a lot to think about. It's clear there are no magic bullets and I may need to learn to live with it. Equally I no longer feel so alone knowing there are others going through very similar experiences.

I have decided on a few actions. I need to tighten up my sleep hygiene slightly (it's already fairly good I think), get up or read if I can't sleep after 20-30mins (this is the one thing I've never really done), find a way of dealing with my worries during the day (I can be a bit of an anxious person) and go back to the gratitude journal which is a nice thing to do generally and gets me in a good frame of mind.

Thank you all x

I've had insomnia all my life. There are nights I just can't sleep, sometimes I can't fall asleep, others I fall asleep then wake up at 1/2am and never go back to sleep.

I have learned to just live with it. It isn't all the time and it's just my pattern. When it's really bad it's usually related to stress. But the one thing that helps the most is sleeping alone.