My disabled DS has been sick. Work is demanding and people are rude. I would like to just curl up and opt out of it all it all (although I won't

[Futurehappiness]

Just a vent. Here goes:

I have had a really demanding day at work. Not just an isolated day...every day is like this lately. I think it is like this for a lot of people and it is getting worse.

I have been trying to arrange some critical, legally-essential meetings and am getting pushback. People (mostly on a significantly higher payscale than me) complaining that having to go through with these processes is causing them inconvenience and they are 'disappointed' in me. Other people refusing to support the arrangements for these meetings because they say that is my job. Even though it really isn't.

I work late & come home, and my DS has a seizure which he is prone to have (he has physical and learning difficulties and is in a wheelchair). I help him recover and put him to bed after attending to his 'personal care'; this is a euphemism - when I explained in detail on another post what that entailed MN put a trigger warning on that post.

Just feeling really jaded, deflated and wishing I was the kind of person who just gave up, found more fun things to do with their time and let other people pay. Wishing that I was one of those people on a high payscale who, rather than rejoice about their pay and status and feel that this gave them a moral obligation to treat those around them with respect, prefer to make their lives harder by finding ingenious ways of making others to blame for what frustrates them.

I am nowhere near breaking or giving up. I don't really want to be that kind of person. But at the moment I feel that this is a curse more than anything.

It sounds tough I hope that you get some help with your son so that you are able to have some well deserved relaxation outside of work if not, are you able to pursue that ?

Sorry to read this. It sounds so difficult. You need to send back work that’s not yours, you’ve got enough on.

Thanks @Friendofdennis , there is some respite but we have to pay for that.

Just to say that I don't intend to criticise people who do break under pressure. I can see how my last paragraph could read that way. One thing that I have learned is that everyone has a breaking point; I havent got to that point yet but that just means I am fortunate.

I'm so sorry you are in a tough spot. Is there any reasonable thing you can do about your job? It sounds like a lot of pressure. Can you start building your cv to start looking for another position with less stress?

do you have help from other family? Bless you for being a good mum in a tough situation.

Thanks @HikingforScenery I try though have spent a lot of time dealing with things that are really not my responsibility....have tried to explain to people that they need to deal with these things themselves.

Just feeling very disrespected and put upon today. Disrespect is one of the worst things there is. I have had a very hard time lately from certain people whom (within my work remit and often unbeknownst to them) I have actually worked very hard to help. I have come to expect disrespect as a usual response to things, isn't that sad?

I know I am not alone and I am not singled out for misfortune. These are hard times and a lot of people are suffering; but the consequence can't be to take it out on others.

You sound highly skilled (compliance?) and very much under appreciated. Absolutely time to move on.

This is not a dig at you at all but I can’t bear the attitude of “I shouldn’t complain, a lot of people have it worse.” I think it stems from the very warped pseudo psychology from the self-help industry and all those bloody podcasts, and I don’t think too many men play along with it!

A lot of people may have it worse but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t complain.
Start small, what is within your control right now? Updating LinkedIn? Calling recruiters? Why can’t you be one of the people on the higher pay scale?

What you are doing for your son is incredible, but don’t underestimate your value to an employer too.

I know what you mean @Tutorpuzzle , it does seem to be ingrained in me (by surrounding culture, by my upbringing, I am not sure how I absorbed it) that I should be grateful for what I have & that others have much more serious problems.

Which of course is true; but it doesn't make things any better for me. In a sense my problems are the worst, because they are the ones I have to deal with. I don't think that is the same thing as disregarding the problems of others, or feeling I am uniquely hard done by.

I know I am valuable to my employer, and they have told me so on several occasions. But I am in a position where my place of work has always been really good; now I fear it is gradually worsening. I suspect that is due to increasing pressures being placed on people, which in turn is caused by pressures in the working environment, and more widely in the community generally.

Where people are feeling pressured and judged on results they probably have less tolerance for being told the right way they need to do things by someone in a role like mine (yes it is kind of related to compliance).

I could look for another job but no guarantees it would be any better elsewhere.

Just feeling upset still and worrying about Monday when I have to try to persuade some people 1st thing (as time is running out) that they need to attend the planned meeting. How to do that I am not sure.......I am not the one with 'director' in my job title & I don't have any leverage other than respect. But if it all goes horribly wrong later I know they will then be quick to blame me.

How this gets to me so much that I feel preoccupied at the weekend, I don't know. But I find all this really triggering...when I get a negative reaction my anxiety levels just automatically shoot up & I feel like a guilty punished child (again, upbringing). So it is really hard to switch off. I am trying to convince myself that I really can handle this.

Just feeling really jaded, deflated and wishing I was the kind of person who just gave up, found more fun things to do with their time and let other people pay.

What does this part of your post mean OP?

@mintjim over and over I see a few individuals who are very adept at doing the minimum at work, yet promoting themselves to look good to the 'important' people...all the while getting others to do work which is really their responsibility. Then if things go wrong it is the fault of those others....regardless, they come out of it smelling sweet.

My post sounded cynical but I really don't want to be one of these people. Sometimes they eventually get their comeuppance, and even if they don't I am fully reconciled to life being an unfair place. It is certainly unfair to my DS, yet he is the happiest person I know and by a long way.

I think I am fairly OK as I am but sometimes I think it would be a blessed relief not to care so much.