The link between poverty and domestic abuse. Why?

[Kindyeah]

I read a report which says that research consistently points to there being a link between the most deprived in society and domestic abuse. But I can’t see why.

I understand, of course, that deprivation increases the likelihood of depression etc. But I don’t believe that men are more likely to abuse women if they’re poorer. Surely it’s all about control? Why would richer men be less likely to abuse? Is it actually true, or is it that poorer women who leave abusive relationships are more likely to need the help of the Council, refuges, social services etc so they get picked up more, whilst richer women have the financial wherewithal to be able to leave and set themselves up without any outside involvement?

Would be really interested to hear from women who know more about this than me.

Abusers are distributed among every tax bracket but women with means find it easier to leave abusers than women who have nothing.

Abusers also target women who are vulnerable and that often means financially vulnerable.

I don’t think it is that hard to think that poverty massively increases isolation, addiction, poor mental health, poor physical health, anger issues, reduced educational outcomes, low living standards, hunger, fuel poverty, lack of freedom of movement etc etc.

That’s not to say poor people are all scumbags and rich people are delightful. But the very thin veneer of human decency is stripped away rapidly without the resource of the world (money.)

Choices
when you’ve got money choices are easier. You can rent a house, buy another one. Hire a solicitor, man and a van to get your stuff, or leave it behind.
you’ve somewhere to go
if your poor
you don’t have that.
More so if you’ve children and/ or pets to take with you.

so not only do you have the mental strength to leave, you have to deal with the financial consequences of that

Women living in poverty are more likely to move a new man in relatively quickly, because of the financial benefit of having someone help with the bills. It’s amazing how many men suddenly have insecure housing within months of starting a new relationship and “it just makes sense” for them to move in often before the relationship has been tested in any way.

He gets his feet under the table and lo and behold the abuse begins.

Abusers are from every demographic. I imagine the research points towards the need of poor women to rely on state services eg benefits, council housing, legal aid etc so that information is easier to gather.

The stats are reported DV.

Well off women can leave & hire lawyers and never come to the attention of police or social services.

If you live in a big detached house in the country neighbours aren't going to hear shouting and call the police.

If you are in a new flat with thin walls the neighbours aren't more likely to hear and report.

Also some communities are much more likely to call the police on abusers than others.

It’s called bandwidth. Lack of. You know when you’re you didn’t sleep last night, you’re hungry, your verbal child is being a pain, your partner keeps yacking on about something stupid and irrelevant? You just don’t have the inner resources to stay calm and not mind when on top of all that, the littlest child pees on the floor. It’s like that all the time when you’re in poverty, you can’t make lifestyle choices and you’re worried about your future. Your tolerance is permanently low. It doesn’t take much to snap. There’s plenty of research on this.

But aren't the women who report the abuse and leave the ones who get picked up by crime stats and whatnot?

Those who suffer in silence because, for example, they don't have the means to take action, aren't picked up in DV stats.

OP, it's an interesting question... your theory about mental illness being more rife where there's deprivation is probably part of it. Mentally healthy people don't tend to abuse others.

Financial abuse is a type of domestic abuse. For example, a person may be eligible for benefits but they are all paid into a sole account in the abusers name and the eligible person has no access to their own money.

Certainly poverty causes stress. But it's pure economics. If my partner has hit me, I could have afforded a hotel, rent elsewhere, a lawyer etc. we've chosen to cut resources to the ordinary (council housing, refuges, legal aid) in order to give tax breaks to the well off.

If you want to help, donate to women's aid or your local refuge, write to your representatives, and keep in touch with your mates in difficult times.

IME (having both grown up in a very impoverished and rough community where domestic abuse was the norm, and now living and working in a fairly affluent area) it happens everywhere but reactions to it are very different. Where I grew up there was genuinely a belief that those doing the abusing didn't really have a choice because they were drunk/angry and it 'just happened' ~ whereas in my friendship groups now it's obviously considered something a person can control and if they don't control their drinking/rage they're not a good partner. It might not seem like much, but friendship networks and what people deem acceptable really changes your view.

It's also choices. If a hypothetical well-off friend was in an abusive relationship, she could likely go to her parents, who'd either let her stay there or pay rent for her somewhere else. Any of her friends (me included) have plenty of spare rooms between us that we would offer without needing some sort of rent paid. She'll have loads of people, and banks, to borrow money from and get reestablished. She'll probably have a good career, or at least people she knows who will be able to find her a decent job. She may well be able to relocate abroad if things get really nasty. She can likely afford decent counselling to deal with the trauma and make sure she doesn't go back.

People that grew up in dysfunctional homes are more likely to become abusers. They will have characteristics like poor emotional regulation, addiction issues, impulsive behaviors etc, which will make it difficult to get ahead in the workplace or even hold down a job. The same behaviors that overlap with abuse overlap with poverty

Living in poverty is extremely stressful. If you’ve grown up in poverty these stress pathways might’ve been developing from childhood. Otherwise they’re easily embedded after years of poverty.

as well as the drip drip drip stress of not being able to meet basic needs financially, you’re likely to be in a too small property, having nowhere to go to de- escalate a stressful Situation, argument, or even just your own space to get some quiet time.

Imagine every single day, every thing you do, causing stress. Living on the edge knowing you’re always close to total collapse - no safety net.

there is no excuse for stress causing aggression and impatience. But that doesn’t change the fact it’s a common reaction.

This, exactly.

Also- it’s the toxic triangle of addiction domestic violence and mental illness is underpinned by poverty

Generally not living in poverty will mean you have good employment and a purpose in life which creates a confident outgoing person who isn't dependant on someone else. Someone with the confidence and means to go it alone is much more likely to walk away from an abusive relationship.

You feel that you are undervalued by the world
You and you undervalue yourself because of the shame of not being able to
Provide

You take it out - all your hurt - on the nearest available target

When my grandad got a promotion to management his violence decreased dramatically

Also it’s not right to say domestic abuse is all about control. It’s about anger and emotional control.

i am frequently angry enough to hit someone. I don’t do it because i can regulate myself and have always been in environments where it would be outrageous behaviour.

If I was part of a different environment I would also react differently

It's not just walking away from abusive relationships, it's recognising objectionable behaviour in early dating and saying 'no thanks'. Confident people with high self-esteem who have had healthy relationships modelled to them growing up are more likely to have zero tolerance to any shit behaviour, never mind let things escalate to being hit etc.

That's why abusers target low-confidence, vulnerable people.

I don’t know the answer, I’d love to know if anyone could link a study.

Absolute guess with this but I’d question levels of reporting and likeliness of police taking action against more ‘respectabile’ pillar of the community types

I would think it is because these women are less able to leave their partner because they are not financially independent.

It is likely as well that people who grew up in poor, dysfunctional households where they witness abusive behaviour are likely to repeat the same type of behaviour.

Also alcohol and drug abuse are often linked to deprivation and people who have the issues are likely to be struggle to control their anger and general behaviour.

Mental health issues are also probably more likely to be picked up and treated in young children and teens if you have stable, middle class parents.

Someone who has mental health issues and grows up in a chaotic, unsupportive environment where they don't get early support again will struggle as an adult.

And men who are rich abusers may well be highly educated enough to abuse in ways that are harder to prove or even understand - more psychological perhaps?

It’s got nothing to do with whether women leave or report it. It’s about perpetrators not victims. People in poverty are more likely to be domestic abusers. Of course, they are more likely to abuse the partners in poverty with them than the lady of the manor but that’s not what the statistic is about

Well, it does, because how else can you conduct a study if not on reported crime statistics?

The fact that victims with means are more likely to report / leave and yet there's still a concentration of DV in lower socio-economic groups suggests that the concentration could be even greater.