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Original poster

Boy sues parents for sending him to boarding school in Ghana, and loses.

46 replies

thiswilloutme · 27/02/2025 13:01

I saw this headline - and initially thought "poor kid" but the more I read the more respect I have for those parents.

They saw him getting involved in Gang culture, the school also flagged concerns, so they got him as far away from the situation that they could.

"Rebecca Foulkes, representing the boy's father, said the boy met 11 of the points on a checklist produced by the children's charity NSPCC to indicate whether a child might have joined a gang or was being criminally exploited.
That included being absent from school, having unexplained money, buying new things, and carrying weapons.
She said it was not only the parents who were worried.
His school claimed it had "suspicions about him engaging in criminal activities" and had observed him in expensive clothes and with mobile phones."

He was very proactive in trying to get back to the UK, seems like a smart kid. Hopefully he will do well and realise that this was done to keep him alive and safe.

I did wonder why the whole family could not have gone - but perhaps there were other children to consider and this was the best solution overall.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cdryre7y4n0o

OP posts:
LetGoLetThem1234 · 27/02/2025 14:00

I think that the parents have done the right thing. I am glad the courts have ratified their decision.

The lad is lucky to have parents who can afford this option.

LaPalmaLlama · 27/02/2025 14:07

DS has quite a few Ghanaian kids in his year and those parents make Chinese parents look like parenting weaklings. The Ghanaian parents are the true tigers! They are top set everything or else!

Original poster
thiswilloutme · 27/02/2025 15:11

LaPalmaLlama · 27/02/2025 14:07

DS has quite a few Ghanaian kids in his year and those parents make Chinese parents look like parenting weaklings. The Ghanaian parents are the true tigers! They are top set everything or else!

That's interesting, I wasn't aware of that - but then it's many years since I taught in schools.

OP posts:
TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 27/02/2025 15:20

I'm planning to relocate whilst my son is still little because I can't bear to hear another story of a boy stabbed in my city - ordinary young boys who aren't even involved with gangs.

It sounds like these parents really have his best interests at heart.

Bigfishes · 27/02/2025 15:22

Well done parents

Hoppinggreen · 27/02/2025 15:25

LaPalmaLlama · 27/02/2025 14:07

DS has quite a few Ghanaian kids in his year and those parents make Chinese parents look like parenting weaklings. The Ghanaian parents are the true tigers! They are top set everything or else!

I do mock interviews with Y11 at a local school where there are a few Nigerian boys. They all said their role models were their Mums because they had sacrificed so much to give them a good education. 😊

528htz · 27/02/2025 15:32

Good, strong parenting there.

ConnieSlow · 27/02/2025 15:33

No gentle wishy washy parenting like it's done here.

Todaywasbetter · 27/02/2025 15:52

but he must feel abandoned. I wonder if he will forgive them.

Belaymehearties · 27/02/2025 16:20

A Ghanian family friend did similar to get her 2 DS' away from their local drug culture. They have now both graduated and are progressing well in their professional careers and say they owe it all to their DM (who is fearsome!) Their cousins didn't get the same intervention and several have done time for drugs offences. The contrast in their lives is stark.

Lookingforwardto2025 · 27/02/2025 16:24

I would absolutely move my DS if he were getting involved in drug culture but did it have to be Ghana? Surely there are UK schools where the contact with gangs could be broken?

FKAT · 27/02/2025 16:25

Yes, ex-boyfriend is Ghanaian and so are several friends. God forbid you don't get a degree in law, medicine or finance. I think the fact that the kid (for all his issues) had the nouse at 14 to find a lawyer and make his case points to this culture of high expectations. 😄

Bear in mind as well Ghana is one of the oldest countries in the former British Empire so the route between Accra and London is well-trodden - lots of British Ghanaians work and live across the two places so it's not that unusual to have a kid at school in one country while parents work in the other.

Upstartled · 27/02/2025 16:29

Todaywasbetter · 27/02/2025 15:52

but he must feel abandoned. I wonder if he will forgive them.

He'll be alive long enough to sulk about it 🤷🏼‍♀️

treesandsun · 27/02/2025 16:29

Lookingforwardto2025 · 27/02/2025 16:24

I would absolutely move my DS if he were getting involved in drug culture but did it have to be Ghana? Surely there are UK schools where the contact with gangs could be broken?

I guess it would be very easy for him to run away or establish contact with those they are trying to stop him seeing.

Upstartled · 27/02/2025 16:29

Lookingforwardto2025 · 27/02/2025 16:24

I would absolutely move my DS if he were getting involved in drug culture but did it have to be Ghana? Surely there are UK schools where the contact with gangs could be broken?

He has other family here though. It makes sense.

CanOfMangoTango · 27/02/2025 16:29

Well done those parents.

My DH always behaved as a kid as his parents would threaten to send him to India if he messed about at school or got into trouble. He was pretty convinced they meant it.

I'm sure this boy was given the same warnings but he didn't listen. Very sad, but I hope he can make the best of it.

Lookingforwardto2025 · 27/02/2025 16:31

Fair enough, I guess that as I dont have many family connections overseas it seems unthinkable to me to send DS abroad. However I applaud them for taking strong action and protecting their son. It may not be an ideal situation for him but so much better than ending up in a gang. He has a future and options now.

WonderingAboutThus · 27/02/2025 17:09

Well done, parents.

Mingenious · 27/02/2025 17:12

Fair play to them!

Changeissmall · 27/02/2025 17:26

The best result. I have a close friend from Ghana and fierce is the word when it comes to her parenting. She is quite uncompromising about her expectations for her (young adult) children. They are all high achievers and doing well but there were clashes with her son when he wanted what I see as usual teenage freedoms. Taking his phone etc. She says I don’t get it because my children aren’t black boys in London.

Snoopdoggydog123 · 27/02/2025 17:31

Todaywasbetter · 27/02/2025 15:52

but he must feel abandoned. I wonder if he will forgive them.

Who cares.

I wonder if they'll ever forgive him.
It would take a lot for me to want that sort of man in my life again.

BuddhaAtSea · 27/02/2025 17:39

What stands it to me isn’t the fact that he got shipped out, I had that card up my sleeve too (didn’t have to use it though). But the fact that at 14 he knew what he needed to do, who to contact, and he went through with it. That kid is more mature than most 24 years old I ever met. He was put back in seat, but you’ve got to admire his gumption.
Hope he learns and one day he realises his parents do love him.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/02/2025 17:48

Lookingforwardto2025 · 27/02/2025 16:24

I would absolutely move my DS if he were getting involved in drug culture but did it have to be Ghana? Surely there are UK schools where the contact with gangs could be broken?

Country of origin, relatives, first language - and no disappearing from the new school to get on a train to meet back up with the gang to start up a new business stream in a different area (or potentially ending up in an area controlled by another one that'll mean he's murdered one evening).

Families will also move their daughters over because of either direct involvement or the risk of punishment for something a brother does.

Or they'll do it because the quality of the education they can afford far exceeds that available here. If you look at the fees charged for borders in many schools, it's the equivalent of top public school quality at pretty much after school club prices.

FKAT · 27/02/2025 17:49

He also wasn't involved in drug culture like he was smoking weed or something - he was involved in crime, money and gangs. The risk wasn't that he'd get in trouble at school but that he'd end up quickly dead or in prison.

MrsPeterHarris · 27/02/2025 18:02

Well done those parents. If only more were like them in the UK! O