Bit of a random one but I wanted some thoughts. It's always been a dream of mine to write a book and become a published author. I love reading and it's a passion of mine, has been since I was a kid - I am always reading something! I also used to write a lot as a teenager and in my twenties, but as life got more full with my own children, I stopped writing as frequently. I haven't stopped completely, in fact I've started multiple writing projects in the past few years, but haven't completed any - still, I put it down to being so busy with other things and hoped I would get back into writing daily or completing something when my youngest started school - she will start school in September. I also had thoughts about trying to start a book channel on YouTube - basically lots of ideas on how to try and do more in the realm of books, follow my dreams etc. I have in the past few months been feeling low about my future prospects. I have been a SAHM for the last 8 years while the kids were small but want/need to return to work in September to help with our family finances - however I am struggling massively with what I want to do, feel like being with the kids was so fulfilling for me and now I feel aimless and unsure of what to try and focus on work wise. My partner said I need to follow my dreams and what I love, and try to get work in publishing or writing, or take on a different job but try to complete a novel and try to sell it - easier said than done but I felt inspired after our conversations. Then, literally a day after we'd had a massive chat about all this, I discovered that my cousin (I'm not at all close to her, she's a lot younger than me and lives far away) is having a novel published and has a successful BookTok account. I am happy for her and feel impressed with how much she's achieved, but I can't help but feel sort of weird and lost again now with regard to my own dreams? I know I'm a good writer and it's my own fault that I haven't put the work in and finished a novel - after all, a writer writes, and I haven't been! I honestly don't feel bitter or jealous of her success, like I say I feel really impressed by her and wish I was more like her, wish I'd tried harder to do these things for myself at her age! But now I feel almost fraudulent in continuing to try and write, or in starting a YouTube channel, because now she has succeeded in doing these things first and is related to me? It would seem like I was copying her when I literally had no idea she was doing any of this or even enjoyed writing! I just feel deflated.