Normal 6 yo behaviour or not?

[Beansontoasts]

I know you can’t diagnose but I’m wondering if some of these behaviours are typical of a 6yo boy or not.

• DS was playing yesterday with a classmate after school, running about in a park. They were being silly and enjoying each others company. They then started being a bit cheeky, asking “do you know what a bum hole is?” And laughing, that sort of thing, talking about poo and bums and willies. Then DS picked up a stick and told his friend he would poke him in his bum hole with it and was chasing him around (they had been chasing each other and having stick sword fights.) The other little boy asked him to stop but DS was a bit hyper at that point and I had to intervene and tell him to stop. He wouldn’t have actually done it but it troubled me that he didn’t know better by now and that he didn’t just stop when his friend asked him. Sometimes he gets a bit wound up and it’s like his ears don’t work anymore.
• Tonight DH was putting DS to bed and he was tickling him, DS then grabbed DH in the crotch and started laughing and saying he would tickle him there. Several weeks ago, DS was tickling his baby sister and then reached for her crotch (she’s still in nappies). We of course immediately told him this isn’t okay and we never touch anyone there and no one is allowed to touch him there, but it’s like he doesn’t get it?

Should I be concerned about this? How do I pick this up? I am worried about both the nature of this (relating to genitals) but also sort of the social aspect. In most other aspects DS seems fine, but there is a way when he’s a bit wound up that he doesn’t listen, and a way he doesn’t quite catch on to some rules (seems fine with most, but is also a bit of a boundary pusher and doesn’t seem to be compliant by nature) that makes me wonder if there is some ND going on. I don’t think he is being abused.

He's 6.
Yes, they get excited and silly and don't listen.

Yes, poo and bums and willies are fascinating and a source of endless amusement.

Yes, they've kind of figured out that other people also have bums and willies and this can also be both interesting and hilarious.

DP's daughter went through a (thankfully brief) stage at around that age of grabbing on to him and going "I've got daddy's willy!" - he was completely mortified and horrified in case she did it in front of her friends or anyone else, but he kept stopping her and telling her why it wasn't ok, and it did pass.

So yes, it's a bit disturbing, but probably will within the realms of normal.

@WrylyAmused thank you, he is our first so it’s hard to know what is “normal”, his sister is much more rule following and it seems like such a contrast. School have said he sometimes has to be told two or three times before he follows the instructions so it’s hard to know where he falls.

Yes, the poo bum crack willy boobie phase started here at that age too.

Just reiterate over and over again about private parts. It is a phase.

Yep - willies and bums are hilarious to young boys. Have you reached the farts stage yet 😂

But you are also absolutely correct that they need to realise these are genitals and private and have a real life use rather than being "rude parts".

The nspcc pants rule information is really helpful because it explains not only about gentials being private but also about how others shouldn't be doing it to you.

Oh dear, yes the farts are also quite the laugh here, he even got in trouble at school last week for making fart noises on his arm during class. Thanks for the NSPCC information, veyr helpful!

Yeah, it's normal.

You need to strike the balance between explaining why it isn't ok, but also not giving it loads of attention so that it becomes his 'go to' rule break when he's pushing boundaries/over excited. Something like "No, we don't touch other people's privates" and move his hand away and then move on. Something like this also gives him something he can do should anyone try and touch him (he obviously can't tell a grown up off or send them to time out, but he can clearly say NO and that he knows that's against the rules).