Confidence - any tips?

[Showercap22]

Throughout my life I've always struggled with confidence. Feedback in anything has often been - believe in yourself

• have more confidence
• don't overthink
• you can do it, have faith in yourself.

Thing is I've always been very driven and have achieved some impressive things in my life. I should be proud of myself really and feel confident in my abilities, but I just don't feel it.
It's like the goalposts move on again.

I second guess myself all the time, agonise over small decisions, over analyse situations, constantly seek reassurance from others.

Does anyone relate to this? Perhaps even overcome it? Any tips to help as it's actually held me back in some ways as well. I've backed out of great opportunities, for example, or avoided challenging situations as I don't believe I can do it.

Time and time again I prove to myself I can do something, because I've done it before.

It's so frustrating!

I joined Toastmasters for a year or two. That helped a lot. I also realised that I am an introvert, and I stopped pushing myself to behave like the extrovert I wanted to be. I left teaching and went to work in an office. That suited me much better. As a teacher I constantly lacked confidence. I was an okay teacher and my kids loved me, but being 'on' every day was exhausting. Working in an office with adults was a revelation. I loved it. Saying that, I'm also an outdoors person and active jobs suit me too. I hope this is helpful.

I would give CBT a go as it helps you challenge your thinking. I'd also force yourself to push through the anxiety because avoiding things makes it worse.

You might find the Six Pillars of Self Esteem helpful.

I second guess myself all the time, agonise over small decisions, over analyse situations, constantly seek reassurance from others.

Why do you think you do this?

Ther reasons why people don't feel confident are many and varied so asking for tips to feel confident means you may receive a lot of advice that doesn't suit your situation.

I wonder from what you have said if it is because you feel or fear a lack of control over the future? Did you/do you face criticism from people in your life? Do you have any major stresses in your life? etc. When you begin to understand where this comes from you can work on it.

You are probably far more confident than you think you are, you don't sound like someone with low self esteem, you accept you have made achievements. Perhaps it's just a change of narrative from negative to positive?