My 2 children age 8&9 see their dad every other weekend. My ex has a grandson who's 12. Roughly every 2 or 3 months they have a family get together so that means our 2 boys see ex grandson.
The problem is he is nasty to my children. He hits them kicks them. Pushes them about takes stuff away . Hits them with the Xbox control. They are much smaller in size compard to him. He's quite stocky. My boys are small in height and body frame. I have told them to tell to tell their dad but they said they can't because he will know what they are doing.
There are non physical things to. One example is all 3 children has sweets and a drink. Ex grandson throw a lid bottle down the toilet. The grandson told his mum it was my boys and she believed him. So they got their sweets taken away and he sat there eating his sweets infrlnt of my 2 and teasing them.
Another thing not linked with my children is he was at his mums friend's house and they had a sleep over in the morning he was asked if he could go in the kids room and wake them. I think the kids are 6 and 8 not 100% on that . The children have special needs and are non verbal. The adults heard crying and screaming. The grandson said they hurt each other. Because of the special needs they have a camera in the room . When it was later checked it turns out that Exs grandson had dragged them out of bed started kicking them dragging them around the room pulled hair. Spacing their face. Then he looked at the camera and laughed.
Tonight ds has gone home with a bruise on his head it's small but it still shouldn't have happend. Also a scratch behinde his ear with a slight bruise that you can't really see.
The boys have been talking to me tonight they mentioned that the grandsons mum said he has ADHD and something else. Im wondering maybe ADD? They also said dad said that the grandson has something wrong with him and it means he will never learn from his mistakes and will just keep doing it. And that he can't understand between right and wrong.
So the difficultie is how do I make sure my children are safe . When they tell their dad something has happend . He replies something along the lines of he's an arsehole or simlar nothing actually gets done.
If I was to say something like our chldren can't be there when the grandson is there. They will get told not to tell me or not to tell me if they got hurt by him. And i can't stop contact because the kids will think im stopping them seeing their dad .