Why do I do this, does anyone else do this, and how can I stop doing it!

[Misak]

I'm not actually expecting anyone to be able to answer my questions but I'm incredibly frustrated with myself and wondering if there's something wrong!

This weekend I watched a really thorough documentary about the events leading up to 9/11, the political aftermath, the USA's response, the rise of the Taliban, the US occupation of Afghanistan, its subsequent withdrawal etc.

I found it easy to follow - fascinating, instructive, informative, heartbreaking, frightening etc. But, despite this, I've already forgotten so much of it and struggled to explain it all to one of my dc. It's like I watched it 2 years ago, not this weekend. I'm seriously wondering if I have some sort of mild cognitive impairment.

Does this happen to anyone else? And, as an aside, does anyone have recommendations of other programmes on the subject that I can watch (and immediately forget!)

I've repeatedly asked a friend to explain the Gaza/Hamas/Israel stuff to me but despite hearing the details many times, clearly and patiently explained, I still have no idea who's who, on what side, or what's happening and why. I am ashamed of my ignorance but my brain just won't grasp it.

I've been the same with books last couple of years, will know if I liked them or not but blessed if I can remember what happens in them. Agree its about passive & active learning / participation though.

I’m the same - it must be so frustrating for my DP as he has an amazing memory. He recalls entire comedy routines and scenes from films word for word, or he’ll recite a verse from a song he loves.

He mentioned a film the other day and I said “hmm, I don’t know that one, I’ve never seen it”. He replied “we watched it last night”

I have so many books with a bookmark about 2/3 of the way through. I never get round to finishing them as I’ll have totally forgotten what the rest of the book said by the time I pick it up again.

Its really distressing sometimes and I actually had to leave the only proper job I’ve ever had due to being so embarrassed at my appalling memory - I worked in a school and the kids would be so surprised that I couldn’t remember their names/classes etc. They’d need a form filling in or for me to call their parents etc and I’d say “whats your name?” and they’d be like “miss!! You asked me that yesterday”. I’d always say “well there’s so many of you, I can’t remember everyone” but tbh it was a small school and I didn’t really remember any of them! I’d also forget to do things for teachers, or go to deliver a note to a teacher who I’d been told an hour before was off sick. It was just ridiculous and I spent every day feeling like a fucking idiot!

I’m not sure which job would suit me, but so far I’ve tried quite a few and apparently a goldfish memory is not a great attribute for any of them.

Same. I used to think of myself as an intelligent person, but my DD has told me about this stuff multiple times and I still don’t have a clue what it’s all about.

I think it would be great if we could improve memory so it was more fair for exams. As some people find it so easy.
I did ok at gcse but alevel - sciences the volume and detail just too much. (Though perhapd adhd as dd has that).

Anyway i watched the gaby petito murder, well i felt strongly i had somehow already watched it but i took till most of the way through to go im sure i have. And its because i watched a prime version so likely different to the netflix i just watched. But obviously same key points.
I also saw a thread today about falling asleep in cinema and didnt realise its a year old, and that i nearly made exactly the same comment.
I think lack of sleep isnt great.

I got quite far learning german on duo stopped a few months and can hardlyvremember now

I watch series that go in for years with my DD but then we say things like: 'you know the blond doctor who had that affair'. Like we've only watched her in 100 episodes but still can't remember her name!
I partly blame it on me scrolling on my phone during shows.
But it's often that we think we know something, and we do, but it's very hard to articulate that to someone else.

Some of it must be absorbed because I come up with all sorts of random correct answers in general knowledge quizzes but haven't the slightest idea how I picked up the information. For instance, this evening, a question about which pop group had an album cover with a greyhound racing picture. I haven't got the album, don't think I have ever seen a physical copy of it...

@Misak which documentary was it? Recently watched "Turning Point: The Bomb and the Cold War" on Netflix which you might like.

Yes, I’m like this and I hate it. I feel like I have only the bare minimum of knowledge on any subject and know nothing in detail. That’s despite having a good interest in many subjects and am keen to learn but nothing seems to stick.
It makes me feel very useless actually. I wish I could be different.
i honestly believe intelligence is much more about having a good memory than anything else.
I’m great at answering questions on the 1% club on t.v. So you might assume I had some intelligence but things in real life stump me. If I have to tax the car I can’t remember how to do it because it’s been a year since I did it last and that’s too long ago for my brain to remember. So I have to spend time goggling what to do in order to get essential things done. As I say, I feel useless.

Oh yes. My head is full. If I want to retain anything long-term I need to forget something. And what gets replaced is out of my control. I still remember my childhood phone number, my long-dead granny's phone number, my first bank card PIN, account no. and sort-code. But I can't remember my newest nephew's birthday, my BIL's current girlfriend's name, what I'm working next week, what happened in the episode of The White Lotus I watched last night etc.

Yes, I am like this too! I'm autistic and have ADHD - so it depends which side of me you get. If my autistic side fixes onto something, I'm unlikely to ever forget it. It gets burned into my brain. However, if my ADHD is in charge then I've got absolutely no hope of remembering a thing. I'm perimenopausal as well, so that's joined the party too....

As a complete aside, what documentary did you watch @Misak? It sounds really good and I love a gripping documentary.

It's completely normal. Google the Ebbinghaus Forgetting Curve - human brains typically lose a lot of new information (i.e. most of it) within days unless the material is reviewed.

I am like this too. I always have been..I asked chat GPT about it the other day and it was very reassuring. It said that we all have different cognitive styles and ways of processing information, and that instead of being detail and facts oriented, it's likely that I am more oriented towards feelings, impressions and holistic thinking. So I won't be able to tell you what exactly happened in a film but I can tell you the broad themes and the feelings that I was left with.

It also said that we're probably better at finding connections between things, rather than just remembering isolated facts.

If someone asks me . Did you like xxx show on Netflix …
I struggle to remember what it was actually about.

Definitely me. I can read something in a book and then have no idea what I just read. I can listen to a lecture/podcast and be very interested then not be able to remember key facts and so on. It’s very annoying.

Teen dd encouraged me to read the Harry Potter series as I had no idea why people kept on about it.
I read the first 5 books.
I couldn’t tell you one plot line.
Other than there being a boy called Harry and an owl I know nothing.

And yet other novels are seared into my brain.

I'm the same. It's strange because in my job I deal with numbers a lot - people giving me personal id numbers - some people reel numbers off quickly and it doesn't bother me I get it first time and type without mistakes when other colleagues will say "slow down". I remember phone numbers from my childhood, car number plates etc. Ask me about the amazing book I have just read or film I just watched and I don't have a clue how to tell you.

I'm the same OP, yet my husband can tell you the running list of a Van Morrison concert we went to 38 years ago. I vaguely remember being there!

A recommendation for you on the subject of 9/11 - a podcast called 'After The Fall'. It's an Audible original, and I found it gripping. Can't remember much about it now though 😆

Oh me too! I'm listening to Unruly - each chapter is a concise, funny, well-explained narrative on each king or queen and I'm so engrossed I think there's no way I'll forget the line of succession or this fact or that fact. Even now, having not listened for a couple of days, can't remember many 'facts' and even the ones I do I don't remember who it was about! I'm doomed 😂

But are you sure that’s a memory issue? That’s a fiendishly complicated situation with a long history.

I agree it's very complicated. But surely I should have grasped a few basics? I don't think it's really to do with memory. I have the same difficulty with much of history and foreign politics - as if they are subjects my brain doesn't want to know about. Whereas other subjects such as plants (including their scientific names), the English language and music theory stick in my brain effortlessly.

I'm nearly 50 and studying at the moment. I regularly cram for tests which I find really hard... remember the details in the actual test, write it doen, then it's like "puff!" 💥💨 and it's all gone.

I think I jist have too much stuff in my head!

How old are you and how many kids do you have?

That's concerning @Hysterectomynext I'd go and see my doctor if that's true.