DP moving in, how to share finances?

[Needachange02]

DP is moving in with me, and we have talked about finances.
He wants to pay 50/50 for everything house related, will include the monthly mortgage payment.

Is this the standard? From a legal aspect I’m not concerned, no plan to add him to the mortgage as we are planning to sell the house and buy together in a year or so.

It’s important to me that this house feels
like his home, which he says it already does. And if him contributing fully helps then that’s ok.

What have others done in this situation please?

We pay in relation to earnings, 70/30

I would see a lawyer and get an agreement drawn up. If he is paying half the mortgage he may later claim for it if you split up

What are your thoughts on marriage? Or is it just a financial transaction?

I would not let him pay half the mortgage, he could pay a suitable amount for rent.

Will you have equal deposits if you buy a house together in a year or so?

We earn almost the same salary. If he earned less then I would suggest a proportionate amount of contribution from him.

Thank you. I’ll look further into this.

We do plan to marry in a couple of years.

He will be transferring the money each month to our joint account that the outgoings are paid from. So his money will go for the mortgage too. How would we differentiate rent rather than mortgage other than talking about it please?

I guess I’m being careful to avoid him feeling like a lodger.

Sorry pressed post too soon.

Yes we will have equal deposit amounts.

How much equity do you have in the house? Does he have savings?

Reason for asking is you need to be aware of what could happen. In an ideal world, couples never separate and if they do they are reasonable about finances but it isn't like that.

At present he is a lodger, in terms of rights but contributing to the mortgage or house improvements could construe some financial rights.

When it comes to finances (without marriage) you have to be hard headed. In the rose tinted stage of moving in together you must not lose sight of your financial position...unless you are happy to give him money should the living together not work out.

I have around £70000 equity. He has around £20000 in savings.
I’m keen to protect my assets as mid 50’s.

I’m very aware of how unreasonable people can be re finances post break up. Ex h was exactly this which led to a messy, drawn out divorce.

Do not let him contribute mortgage. You need to protect. He needs to protect his investments effectively he is not investing he is just paying rent. How much is the mortgage each month?

Instead he can save the equivalent amount. This can be used for deposit / wedding/ emergency fund

You said you would both contribute equal amounts but then said he has 20k and you have 70k?

Half all bills / food minimum. Set up joint account for food and household expenses eg window cleaner, new curtains etc if installing the you can set up other pots for things too.

Regarding home improvements, if you allow him contribute to this but he will have some interest in the property.

Do either have children?

If he is putting a generic amount into your bank account, get him to label the transfer payment as household bills. And maybe have an email somewhere where you say effectively I’m treating that money as a rental contribution of sorts. Ironically, the bigger mistake people make is not getting partners to contribute.

@curious79 agree have one called "food" one "utilities and bills" and then "rent"

Get him to set up monthly direct debits for 1st of month ( so it doesn't run Sunday to payday)

I had this set up for a while - it was me moving in with my now husband- and it takes a few years to get someone's vibe with money. My husband is very financially astute and makes a lot of good decisions but he is also tight fisted, nose to the grindstone!!

Whereas I am more liberal and what's mine is yours kind of vibe.

It worked well for us and we moved in a beautiful home together combining all our assets.

I guess I’m being careful to avoid him feeling like a lodger

Stop this nonsense now... Be more careful to protect your assets. You are mid 50s...
You do not have equal deposits. Stop acting like a silly #bekind girl

I would have a lodger contract drawn up and charge 100pm under market rate that will be significantly cheaper than market rate to rent equivalent and he has none of the hassle of managing bills. Any money i to your account should be labelled as such rent food bills etc no genrric lump payments

In my case i charged my now husband 600pm on my 2 bed when dating and we had a contract. The flat was mine. That cash was mine. I see it like that so does he because i never let him think otherwise for fear he felt "lessthan"...

this was what i did when i was 30. For Food/ holidays we did half and half... and no joint account until we were buying a house together now we have merged finances and zero money based arguments

If your dp doesnt like it id say fine... let's stay as we are living separately

Sorry, I thought I’d written that he has put away an equal amount that I will have from my equity already, plus he has the £20000 savings.

Yes, we both have adult children. We both plan to change our wills accordingly to provide for them.

Some good suggestions, thank you.