Hen night and not drinking

[Microbantime]

I have a hen coming up. It’s a day thing with activities and then dinner. I was quite ill in December and haven’t had a drink since. I just seem to have completely gone off it. There will be 16 of us at dinner so I suspect drinks will be flowing. How do you tackle the bill. Should I just pipe up that I am on soft drinks? I don’t mean to be a Scrooge but the restaurant is known for cocktails at £15 a time. We are an older crowd so somewhat sensible just I do suspect a large bill at the end of the evening.

You know the people in the group best but if someone was already trying to sort the bill on the WhatsApp before we had gone there would be eye rolls from most groups of friends I know.

You have no idea who will be drinking what yet or how the tab will work - just see on the night and if there are drinks on the table etc just say you will get your own.

In my experience that's also the people who eye roll if someone isn't keen on splitting the bill, especially for drinks.

We once paid £100 more than we expected because a flash twat made a fuss when we suggested paying for what we'd had. Never again!

Actually the more I think about it, framing it as "Guys just to let you know in advance, I am still not 100% so won't be drinking and may well shoot off early from the meal and give my share to someone . Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but I so want to be there."might work.

That way it's about leaving early rather than not paying for the alcohol. Or may make it even worse, I don't know.

Or that's probably too convoluted "Guys I have been unable to touch a drink since December, so I will be on water. Everyone ok with drinks being separate on the bill ?"

Exactly! I don't get those who are aghast when people only want to pay for what they've had and not subside others (always expensive!) choices. Had this happen once when out with a friends group. 2nd time when out with same group, I'd chosen set menu at £25, was pregnant so had a soft drink, so when the bill was asked for- as freeloader ordered another cocktail to be added, I said, ' am sorry, but exhausted, need to leave and put down £30 for mine and towards tip, freeloader was all 'oh wait, best wait for bill split, and when I said, I know what mine was, had set menu' you could clearly see she wasn't pleased, especially when others who'd had set menu did same. Turned out her stuff was about £60... if it'd been split would only have cost £40ish. Cheeky mare!😆

Yep agree with this.

Totally reasonable.

Might actually make it easier for others thinking the same about what their budget for the night is for all sorts of reasons, I’d never eye roll at someone just being honest, but of an odd reaction and much easier to bring up now rather than when most are three cocktails in :)