What to do - possible theft from DC @ school

[WalkinginMemphis2]

Odd situation here.

Bit of pre info DC's school have a school coat that whilst no compulsory it's strongly encouraged they wear.

There is a new winter version we purchased this just before Christmas as DC was going up a size

Annoyingly new version has no label in collar or inside seam which can be named as it's reversible.

The name'able label is on the pocket - we stamped this and then to make it easy for DC to recognise we put a ribbon on inside pocket zip.

DC's teacher said the new coats were causing issues because no quickly recognisable name tag and that there is a tab (think like on a pair of Levis x4 bigger) on outer side seam that is white on the reverse side could we name - we name stamped it.

DC are at asmall primary 18 - 20 pupils in each 4 classes - they have an unusual'ish name - no others with same

after wraparound someone else had gone home with his coat.

For wraparound they go into a large classroom place their coats and bags on the tables and go off to wherever - we pick up from that room. DC's bag was there when he came to go but no coat.

They said they definitely placed down. We waited until everyone had gone but there was no one else's coat in its place.

no one in our yr group or youngest DC's had taken home - no contacts in others to ask. So we waited to see if it was brought in by one of the other two classes.

2 days later still nothing. So I insisted that DC be helped to go round all the cloakrooms and look otherwise I would - these coats are £46!

Kindly DC's teaching assistant did this and found in the cloakroom of one of the classes in the year above.

We were on half term last week so I washed the coat (took the ribbon off) and put back on double tying tightly very very tightly and decided to try make coat more identifiable by taking DC's initial keyring off their school bag and adding to outer zip of the coat. Identical to image attached.

On Monday the coat went missing again this time at afternoon break they are not allowed out without but are allowed to take off and place on benches - there was issues with them being chucked everywhere. When DC went to get his had gone. Waited until the end - again nothing in its place.

Again two days coat has not materialised, again teaching assistant searches the cloakrooms - again finds in same cloakroom.

Hung the coat up on Weds night noticed the keyring had gone! Asked DC who said yes they had asked teacher and they didn't really know / wouldn't help (fair enough) started crying. Wants keyring. Instinctively I checked the inside - the ribbon has also gone!!!!

I think we all know what has happened here but obviously no one can 'prove' anything however I think this is completely outrageous.

school are trying to blame a child. There is no way a 7/8 yo would have the time/patience/motor strength/problem solving skills (the coat would need to be laid on something to allow purchase on the zip - like your lap or a table) to get that keyring off (it's the whole thing that's gone not just the decorative part which yes could have been pulled/fallen off).

Took ages to get off bag the bag in first place and really hurt my nails doing so then DH struggled to put it on the zip. Also the ribbon, this was just a very dark grey cotton and blended in with the coat lining - don't think a child would have even noticed to take off. Let alone been able to do those nots + remove keyring without anyone noticing.

Obviously we can't prove but I think inferring it's a low value item we should just let it go is not good enough theft is never okay. For me this goes way beyond a child bringing the wrong item home and a parent ignoring or even removing the name tag that is on that item.

Also it's weird it's been the same cloakroom both times!

I think I would stamp on the both sides of the collar, sure it will be visible from behind but it will stop the issue.

Have name or initials embroidered on the front of the coat (where a school badge usually goes).
I do this with all school jumpers and it stopped the problem - and meant they found the way home from lost property.

At least if it’s been found in the same cloakroom then they know where to look first! This sounds like such a logistical nightmare for staff at the school.

Assuming it’s a dark colour, I’d be tempted to do initials or something using a bleach pen. Nail varnish on the zip? You shouldn’t have to permanently damage the coat, but I absolutely would in this situation.

You’re right OP. This coat will have been accidentally brought home by a child, and the parent will have though great, one of those nice expensive school coats, I’ll have that. And they’ll have removed the keyring and ribbon. It’s annoying but basically some people are scum and they have no shame.

My approach would be to keep using it, then when it inevitably disappears without trace, tell school that you’d bought the fancy school coat, it got stolen 3 times and you’re not buying it again. Then buy a generic one for £10 from Asda. They can “encourage” all they like, but if they can’t prevent theft then they’ll just have to deal with it.

Next time but the £10 coat. The school don't care.
Or mark the expensive coat properly.

If the parent wanted to steal it they'd have put their child's name on it. You're overthinking it OP, your dc needs to take more care with their coat.

It’s clear someone has gone to the trouble of removing the key ring and ribbon. The kind of people who do that can’t be bothered to label clothes to be honest. And anyway, it seems as if this ridiculously designed coat doesn’t have a label area due to being reversible.

Actually OP, the fact that the school have chosen such a stupid design would be enough to make me dig my heels in and never buy it again.

@RedHelenB I'm actually annoyed by that. I'm no stranger to what kids can be like but absolutely not their fault.

Both times it went missing from school sanctioned places to leave them - first time from where they asked to leave them for going into Wraparound care - see original post. This is organised I see it weekly - they put their coats on the table bags on top in a row.

Second time was at break from one the two picnic benches where they're instructed to leave them if taken off (they do get hot running around) so they're not just dumped on the floor.

I'm not sure what more they could have done. They didn't loose it was taken from designated places to leave them.

Why are people telling the OP’s child to take better care of of his coat. How about telling people not to take stuff that’s not yours no matter where it’s left. I’m sure the child/children who took the coat have learned their attitude to things that aren’t theirs at home but let’s be clear it’s them/their families that’s the problem here not the OP and her child.

I suspect the same culprit is stealing your child's coat each time, OP. Unfortunately, you'll never see the keyring or ribbon again. You're lucky the coat has been found and returned each time. Embroider his name on the sleeve or hem/write it in permanent marker and suggest he rolls his coat up and stuffs it in his bag rather than just lay it on a table with a pile of others when he goes to wraparound care. I don't have a suggestion for what to do when it has to be placed on a bench during playtime...(I probably wouldn't waste money on expensive school branded coats in future, when you've said it isn't compulsory.)

It's so random there clothes end up if you throw it around in school. It's a lesson worrh learning children.
Ours children's uniforms have been labelled very well and rarely gone missing but often primarily teachers (not blaming them) have handed them random clothes to put on in the end of schoolday. I didnt steal it but returned it to the school.
It helped a lot then I insisted that the children paid more attention to their clothes.

@MumChp if you read up a few posts to my reply to RedHelen and the original post you will see that they weren't chucked around in school DC didn't loose them they were taken.

DC need to look at the coat before leaving "is this mine?". Most children don't.

Thanks for the replies everyone, I did consider the embroidery thing and taking during ht but it then makes it awkward for passing down to the youngest. Or eventually selling on. PTA do a second hand uniform sale every quarter and even well used ones get a tenner back. I've seen ones in better condition get £18

@MumChp but he hasn't taken anyone elses coat!?! 🤨. I would suggest the other child on this case does yes.

Like I said in the op both times there was not another coat left in it's place this wasn't a mix up. Otherwise there would be no point in the thread.

Is there a seam you could put something in?

Embroider surname onto it.

When DC was at primary school we bought him 2 identical coats as he always got so muddy. Both coats had a name tag sewed into the back of the coat and into a pocket. DS's coat went missing at school so I sent him in a second coat and asked the teacher if there were any coats in the lost property. She said no. DS had a 1-1 helper and she said she'd check the school cloakrooms. She found DS's coat with a name tag still in it. The following week it went missing again. The coat came back in to school the following week with the same DC wearing it as had it the first time. This time there was no tag in the back of the collar. I asked if T/A could check pocket as DS had another name tag in there. Sure enough the coat had DS's tag in the pocket. I complained to his teacher because the tag had clearly been taken out of the back of his coat. DS had been wearing his second identical coat. Class teacher passed it across to Head Teacher who said it was cold and each DC should have one coat each despite DS's name tags being in both. TA apologised and said the other DC didn't have a coat. I was fuming because DS's coat had clearly been stolen and school thought it was OK because DS had another coat.

OK apologies. Not quite sure what can be done then other than get a cheap one and put this one in storage for your youngest. It is very hard to accuse someone of theft in this situation.

@caringcarer wow that head teacher was a cheeky f! Were you tempted to tell her to put her hand in her own pocket to buy the thief a coat, considering it wasn't your responsibility? I think I would!

I'm with you op. Pretty clear go at just stealing the coat.
My dsis had the same scenario with her son. Other child just turned up to school in her child's very distinctive coat. School declined to do anything so dsis simply went up to the child at collection time and Said you have x coat on by mistake.
Parent protested but like you, dsis had also sewn in a second tag that theiving parent had missed.
You know exactly what happened. Can you get a badge to put on the coat?

Yet another reason why school uniform is such a regressive idea.

Most other countries get on fine without school uniforms.

This sounds beyond frustrating OP.

When dd was in nursery we labelled her coat in two different places. It went missing. We retrieved it from the cloakroom a couple of days later.
Following week, having stitched her hi vis to it as she kept losing it, a very irate bloke approached me in the playground trying to take dds coat off her and asking why I'd stitched the hi vis onto his daughters coat.
His daughters coat was filthy, had two massive holes in it and was about 3 sizes smaller than my dds.
He got quite angry, refused to acknowledge it had dds name in it and had to be led away by staff.
Apparently ours wasn't the first coat he'd "taken".

I embroidered my kids names on valuable uniform pieces. Things like coats I'd never buy the school coat. I get coats second hand for school now. My dd had her favourite bunny stolen at infants. Dd took it in as she had sen. We did a plee to get it back. It had the labels with dd name, postcode and my mobile cut off and it had been washed. So unfortunately parents do indulge in this.

Sew on something very visible like initials or a bright button that a kid can't remove at school

I would be saying to school its silly to put all coats in a pile all the time. Some kid s are lazy or cant read and just grab one.

Weve had issues this year in year 5 where my dc is hanging his coat up in the cloakroom and another kid is knocking it and sometimes bag off. This is also happening to other kids in the same class. Mine had it happen 3 times in a week and once (similar to op) their keyring on their bag was also taken off and flung. Then the original kid or the class are standing on kids stuff as its on the floor.
Other dc in class had both bag and coat trodden with mud and another kid on the same day. To me its clearly not coming off the peg accidentally (suddenly after no issues in other yeargroups or even most of this year.) But i dont necessarily think its bullying or targetted. One boy did say he stood on my kids stuff. I think some kids just fling other kids stuff - ive seen that frequently.

I would do as a pp said and get a different coat life is too short to worry about people knicking your coat as if nothing else each time its a day or so without a coat in cold and rain.
At secondary my dc did y7 with nothing missing but y8 and 2-3 £30 jumpers. Bht they arent making it to lost property sadly. I think whilst its good in primary our lost property is outside so parents can check its not encouraging kids to look themselves.
It is so full of crap though i mean itd like 200-300 families how can so many kids have unlabelled stuff!