Why am I so depressed?

[Luluissleeping]

I am 58, doing paperwork to draw a pension early. I work part time. I have a family. DH has had some worries and offloads onto me which I listen to and give help if I can. I live in a nice house, nice area. I have some difficulty walking but manage. Lately, after starting the pension paperwork, I seem to have developed a deep melancholy. I can talk to friends but there is nothing in my life to be sad about except the walking difficulties. How can I shake this feeling off?

Life moves in different stages: child, young adult, partner, parent, early retirement, final decline!

Every time we move on a stage, or contemplate that move it feels challenging, not just looking at what is ahead, but saying goodbye to what is about to pass into history.

What might help you is to make some active concrete plans for this new upcoming stage in your life and concentrate on looking forward.

My retirement has been a total liberation and I have been free to do things I always wanted to do and to pick up new roles. But ..... my health has started signs of decline - so do these things while you can - don't let a second of this new stage pass you by!

A few reasons probably.
Retiring is a stressful life event. It is ranked as more stressful that pregnancy. https://www.dartmouth.edu/eap/library/lifechangestresstest.pdf

It is February, it has been cold and dark for ages. Doing anything at this time of year is tougher.

You'll get there, it will be fun eventually. Make sure you get some sunshine today.

Thank you for that very helpful reply. I don't want to harm myself or anything, just feel a deep sadness.

You will feel sad a bit, as you are saying goodbye to something - partings are always a bit sad. But you are also moving on towards something where you have the freedom to choose what you do. And there is nothing sad about that!

Thanks all. Maybe it will pass. I am keeping my part time job if I can. Perhaps it is time to look to do something useful like volunteering in my free time. I am ashamed of feeling sorry for myself!

@Luluissleeping don't feel ashamed, you are experiencing normal emotions.

Are you on HRT?

Yes on HRT

The world is falling to shit and it’s been a long cold winter. Most people I know are feeling pretty miserable. ❤️

I was thinking it might be menopause related. I am post menopause and get quite blue sometimes. HRT and exercise help.

Good to get these replies. It helps to post about it. Sunshine does help, as does exercise as pointed out above.

It does not always have to be something useful - doing things just for one's own pleasure is allowed! Mothers tend to forget that!

I feel a bit better after the kind advice on here, just a little bit lost. I know that part of it might be that I feel like I have lost a sense of purpose.