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I failed at being a parent

20 replies

whatifear · 22/02/2025 12:07

I thought I was doing a great job for years and years. I was proud of the open and honest relationship that I had with my 2 kids. they could talk to me about anything. but now I have an older teen and a younger teen, I know that I wasn't strick enough and they don't respect me at all. they do whatever they want and are disrespectful to me. whilst they were little I didn't want them to respect me through fear and authoritarianism. I spent way way too long explaining the why of everything because I thought it would teach them to do the right thing because they knew it was the right thing. I'm not sure that I could even do it differently because I am not strict/authoritarian. but it's too late now anyway. just got to wait for them to leave home

OP posts:
Matrixremooted · 22/02/2025 12:11

Teenage years are never easy! Their brains are still forming and who they are now will not be who they are in their 20’s - don’t give up hope yet 😄 we all fail at parenting in one way or another.

StopStartStop · 22/02/2025 12:12

I failed, too. I tried my very best. My child is wonderful in every way but holds great pain and resentment from her childhood. I was far from perfect, despite really trying. All I can do is listen and apologise, I can't change the past.

whatifear · 22/02/2025 12:13

Matrixremooted · 22/02/2025 12:11

Teenage years are never easy! Their brains are still forming and who they are now will not be who they are in their 20’s - don’t give up hope yet 😄 we all fail at parenting in one way or another.

I really hope so @Matrixremooted . it doesn't feel salvageable right now, but I appreciate that things change

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Mielbee · 22/02/2025 12:14

Sounds like you're having a rough time OP. It's hard to say without knowing more detail exactly what's going on here, but I agree that parenting through fear is not the way to go. That is evidence-based and does not mean you failed. It sounds like you still had boundaries. Parenting teenagers is hard full stop.

whatifear · 22/02/2025 12:16

StopStartStop · 22/02/2025 12:12

I failed, too. I tried my very best. My child is wonderful in every way but holds great pain and resentment from her childhood. I was far from perfect, despite really trying. All I can do is listen and apologise, I can't change the past.

what are you apologising for @StopStartStop ? I am bloody sick of apologising for stuff where I wasn't in the wrong. really trivial stupid stuff that never needed to even be an issue in the first place. I didn't see the harm in apologizing to de-escalate. and I thought it was a good lesson...to just apologise for your part in a silly situation so everyone can feel better. now I am expected to apologise multiple times a day with no reciprocal apologise and not even a gracious acceptance. I'm not doing it anymore

OP posts:
whatifear · 22/02/2025 12:17

Mielbee · 22/02/2025 12:14

Sounds like you're having a rough time OP. It's hard to say without knowing more detail exactly what's going on here, but I agree that parenting through fear is not the way to go. That is evidence-based and does not mean you failed. It sounds like you still had boundaries. Parenting teenagers is hard full stop.

thank you @Mielbee 🙏

OP posts:
whatifear · 22/02/2025 12:20

Matrixremooted · 22/02/2025 12:11

Teenage years are never easy! Their brains are still forming and who they are now will not be who they are in their 20’s - don’t give up hope yet 😄 we all fail at parenting in one way or another.

I read so many accounts of parents who are proud of the teens that they have raised and enjoy spending time with them. I see it in my kids age mates and their families

OP posts:
Peclet · 22/02/2025 12:21

Have you gone to any parenting sessions like Tuning into Teens?

there is a world of difference between authoritarian and authoritative and I think lots of adults struggle to feel confident to be warm, compassionate parents as well as being able to comfortably hold a boundary.

you sound deflated, how do you take care of yourself?

whatifear · 22/02/2025 12:31

Peclet · 22/02/2025 12:21

Have you gone to any parenting sessions like Tuning into Teens?

there is a world of difference between authoritarian and authoritative and I think lots of adults struggle to feel confident to be warm, compassionate parents as well as being able to comfortably hold a boundary.

you sound deflated, how do you take care of yourself?

I have attended local authority courses about parenting teens, quite extensively as my youngest has SEN. I can't even tell you why it isn't fixing things, I obviously fail to implement the 'things'. I have never had many rules because 1) I'm fairly lazy and didn't want to be policing arbitrary rules but more so because 2) the eldest in particular didn't really need many rules, she was always compliant and great company, well behaved at school, honest, sporty, fun, helped round the house enthusiastically blah blah

how do I look after myself?...I never really know what people mean by 'look after yourself'?

OP posts:
RosesAndHellebores · 22/02/2025 12:31

Two things op, other parents often paint reality with rose tinged glasses. I remember finding out that all those new mummies who told me feeding was a breeze and their babies slept fessing up to the reality when we met again in the school playground three/four years later.

Also, teenage years are hard. Home is often their safe space to be vile. Mine were awful.

DS was a party boy and from 16-22ish never felt he should tell me where he was going or come home when expected. There was row after row. He was also obstructive, unhelpful and argumentative. He often implied we were shit, awful parents who didn't understand his generation (remember that - we just didn't express it, we wouldn't have dared).

DD became ill at 15, eating, anxiety, cutting, depression. There was little help available and it took everything I had in me to keep her going at school, to engage with a private psychiatrist and therapists, etc. At 17 she was diagnosed with ADHD. We never recognised the signs but once we knew it all made sense. From that point her recovery started.

They are 26 and 30 now. Graduated with firsts and both have good jobs. DS is married and dd is partnered. They began the journey back to their old, selves at about 22.

You haven't failed. You met an obstacle and have to navigate it. Fucking hard at the time though. All you can do at this stage is love them, feed them, stick to routines and be there.

Peclet · 22/02/2025 12:37

I didn’t know one of your kids is SEN, that changes things.

Children are unique and yeah arbitrary rules are no fun. I suppose I am thinking what’s your family culture? What can you all agree on that makes things work and when they don’t happen what’s the fall out?

Sometimes it’s good to collectively agree on some agreed modes of conduct and go from
there. Could be as mundane as all laundry brought down and put in the lights or darks pile for a wash. Not brought down- not washed. And hold that boundary. For example.
or it could be that on a Friday it’s a free for all for dinner because you’re tired and you le the kids have what they like. Clean up after themselves.

things for you-
catching up with a friend on the phone for a chat

walking the dog listening to a podcast

fresh bed linen on

meditating/attending an exercise class

competing a task

whatifear · 22/02/2025 12:38

RosesAndHellebores · 22/02/2025 12:31

Two things op, other parents often paint reality with rose tinged glasses. I remember finding out that all those new mummies who told me feeding was a breeze and their babies slept fessing up to the reality when we met again in the school playground three/four years later.

Also, teenage years are hard. Home is often their safe space to be vile. Mine were awful.

DS was a party boy and from 16-22ish never felt he should tell me where he was going or come home when expected. There was row after row. He was also obstructive, unhelpful and argumentative. He often implied we were shit, awful parents who didn't understand his generation (remember that - we just didn't express it, we wouldn't have dared).

DD became ill at 15, eating, anxiety, cutting, depression. There was little help available and it took everything I had in me to keep her going at school, to engage with a private psychiatrist and therapists, etc. At 17 she was diagnosed with ADHD. We never recognised the signs but once we knew it all made sense. From that point her recovery started.

They are 26 and 30 now. Graduated with firsts and both have good jobs. DS is married and dd is partnered. They began the journey back to their old, selves at about 22.

You haven't failed. You met an obstacle and have to navigate it. Fucking hard at the time though. All you can do at this stage is love them, feed them, stick to routines and be there.

fecking hell @RosesAndHellebores , that sounds awful. it made me cry. I'm sorry it was so difficult for you too but thanks for sharing because I'm afraid it made me feel a bit better/more hopeful

my youngest has been a school refused since year 1, she is year 9 now. her attendance is about 20% currently. it has ranged from 0% to 80%. I have got so used to it, but I think it probably still stresses me out. I used to be able to feel the adrenaline when she would kick off, racing heart, sweating, hyperventilating etc. she has had lots of therapy, she doesn't have a diagnosis. that one isn't really rude to me, she is quite diplomatic but she will not abide by rules at all. and is already drinking and partying at 14. she doesn't sleep

OP posts:
Peclet · 22/02/2025 12:40

Sleep- melatonin?

No diagnosis by choice?

Whoarethoseguys · 22/02/2025 12:43

Teenage years are hard whatever kind of parent you were. If you had been strict and authoritarian they could well be much worse now. They could be rebelling and doing dangerous things and not telling you about it. They could be in serious trouble and keep quiet about it for fear of telling you. Installing fear is never the right way to bring up a child. And fear is not respect.

Auldy · 22/02/2025 12:44

I wish there was more honesty about this part of motherhood. The pressure to be perfect at every stage is overwhelming. And impossible. In fact it feels like the more perfect we attempt to be in the early years, the more difficult the teen years become. There is definitely a balance to be had between the benignly neglectful parenting of the 80s and the hyper-focussed gentle parenting of now. With my own teens I am trying to focus on natural consequences - if you're horrible and disrespectful to me I'm not going to want to give you money, lifts. If you treat me with the kindness and respect I treat you, I will literally do anything for you. I am trying to remember to breathe and not become reactive or shouty. I'm trying to model the kind of behaviour I'd want to be around in my adult relationships. I'm not always getting it right and I know I have a tendency to do the "all the things I do for you" thing that I HATED my mum saying.

whatifear · 22/02/2025 12:48

Peclet · 22/02/2025 12:40

Sleep- melatonin?

No diagnosis by choice?

Edited

no, not by choice at all. school suspected autism and she was assessed around age 7/8. the stupid paediatrician said the reason she refuses to go to school is because she likes staying home, watching TV. the reality is that she really REALLY WANTS to go to school, she always has. she worries and cries about not getting GCSES and 'failing' at life. I have tried to get her referred again for reassessment but have been rejected a number of times. she has been under CAMHS twice, when she became suicidal. they didn't think she had autism. but mostly she communicated with them through me so not sure how they reached that opinion.

CAMHS wouldn't prescribe melatonin but I bought some off the internet. i think it has helped somewhat but it hasn't solved the problem. also, some nights she won't take it because 'she has too much to do' 😒 (she has OCD tendencies and needs her room to be a certain way)

OP posts:
whatifear · 22/02/2025 13:21

Peclet · 22/02/2025 12:37

I didn’t know one of your kids is SEN, that changes things.

Children are unique and yeah arbitrary rules are no fun. I suppose I am thinking what’s your family culture? What can you all agree on that makes things work and when they don’t happen what’s the fall out?

Sometimes it’s good to collectively agree on some agreed modes of conduct and go from
there. Could be as mundane as all laundry brought down and put in the lights or darks pile for a wash. Not brought down- not washed. And hold that boundary. For example.
or it could be that on a Friday it’s a free for all for dinner because you’re tired and you le the kids have what they like. Clean up after themselves.

things for you-
catching up with a friend on the phone for a chat

walking the dog listening to a podcast

fresh bed linen on

meditating/attending an exercise class

competing a task

okay, okay....yes, so I have returned to the gym the last couple of months, it really helps my mental health. I have done some spring cleaning this morning. I am disabled so it really is difficult to do these things because I run out of energy. I have to reserve energy for work to keep a roof over our heads. but, I have realised how important it is to do these things. I just used to do them without thinking, when I wasn't disabled and the kids were younger/easier. ironically I need it more than ever now

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 22/02/2025 13:31

Sometimes it's just luck, OP. Not failure as a parent.

I was fortunate in that I did have a fantastic relationship with my dd throughout her teens and I was hugely proud of the young woman that she had become. I don't kid myself, though. Yes, there were things that I think I got right as a parent, but there were loads of things I got wrong too. I was just bloody lucky that dd turned out as well as she did.

I have friends who were every bit as good at parenting as I was, maybe better in some ways, and they were not so lucky. Some had incredibly tough times when their kids were teens. In most (but not quite all) cases, their kids did eventually mature into decent functioning adults.

There is no such thing as the perfect parent. We all do our best, and hopefully what we do gives our kids a solid foundation. But there really is an awful lot of luck involved as well.

Peclet · 22/02/2025 15:01

whatifear · 22/02/2025 13:21

okay, okay....yes, so I have returned to the gym the last couple of months, it really helps my mental health. I have done some spring cleaning this morning. I am disabled so it really is difficult to do these things because I run out of energy. I have to reserve energy for work to keep a roof over our heads. but, I have realised how important it is to do these things. I just used to do them without thinking, when I wasn't disabled and the kids were younger/easier. ironically I need it more than ever now

Really really pleased to see that update! Wonderful news that you’re going to the gym and listening to your body. Well done.

Peclet · 24/02/2025 22:17

How are you feeling now op

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