A powerful interview with Esther Ghey about the murder of Brianna and the dangers of the online world

[cakeorwine]

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/feb/22/esther-ghey-murder-daughter-brianna-transgender

It's a powerful interview. She had a very difficult time as a young, single parent but managed to improve her life.

Brianna seems to also have had a troubled life and fell into an online world where algorithms fed anorexia and self harm content.

Her murderer fell into an online world where she said she would try to kill someone,

When Brianna was murdered, people left awful comments on the Facebook page and they even trolled the tribute page from the funeral director.

She has forgiven the murderers.

"She says that only by forgiving Brianna’s killers has she been able to move on with her own life. “It was important to forgive the girl and boy for what they’ve done because, if I didn’t forgive them, I would hold that hate in my heart and it would eat away at me. They’ve already taken Brianna away from me and I refuse to let them impact the rest of my life.”

She's now friends with the mother of the girl who murdered Brianna.

“It isn’t Emma who committed the crime. As a parent, I went through such a difficult time trying to monitor Brianna and to keep on top of what she was accessing online. Brianna was harming herself, and Emma’s daughter was harming herself and went on to harm someone else as well. There’s no blame there at all for Emma. It’s easy to tell ourselves stories in our head about how people are, and it was important for me to meet her and see how she actually was. And she’s just a normal woman who was doing her best.”

It's a powerful interview about a mother and the dangers of the online world.

I think by being very forgiving it perhaps side steps the issues about parental oversight. She might feel she was to blame for what happened so doesnt want to 'blame' the killers mothers in case its replicated for her. But her child didnt kill someone.

I think parents should and often dont take responsibility for what their children are doing and how they develop

She’s been through a lot. And has no control over what has already happened. She can only focus on what’s next.

It surprises me that she knew Brett as Briana for only a year or so, yet Brianna is who she mourns and remembers. That isn’t a criticism. I think she sounds admirable in many ways, I would hope to have her composure and wisdom in the same situation.
I’m not surprised she accepted transition given how troubled Brett was.

I agree with this.

I wonder if she feels guilty for not supervising Brianna and knows it could very easily have been her in Emma's shoes.

It sounds as though she didn't have parental supervision herself. Very sad to see generation to generation neglect. Poor Brianna/Brett probably didn't have a chance in primary school with those eye problems.

I can see why she has fixated on blaming phones but im sceptical that was the cause of her child’s issues and other children’s issues . Phones were a small part of it. They would have just had an alternative way to communicate in the absence of phones. As for accessing unpleasant material again it’s the same I remember in the late 80s and early 90s my peers getting hold of things they shouldn’t have that were not ok.

What strikes me more is that all the children involved were ND? I think lack of professional support in that area is more likely to be a cause. Plus early life experiences for them all, we only hear about one experience in that article but I wonder what the other children’s early lives were like ? Trauma at a young age can cause more problems than phones ever will. I know smartphones aren’t ideal but I don’t think in this case they are the root cause and I think fixating on them as the object of blame means that other things are overlooked.

It is a powerful article. I do agree online life is really damaging some young people. I see it in real life. This article highlights the extremes. Some just can't step away from it and there are people who groom the young in all directions. So sad

No,according to Esther she herself bullied and was bullied, took a variety of drugs, left school early, had two children by age 20.

Brett was basically the same with the addition of the very thick spectacles and a male propensity to use porn.

And a phone.

I don't think the phone was the clincher.

Sorry, after posting that I thought it seemed very judgemental. It's more sad. Children need support and supervision and can only learn how to be a responsible adult from responsible adults. There but for the Grace of God go I.

I suppose I meant more as in the immersive fiction sense and the online encouragement to partake of that fiction. It comes in so many forms, with gender /body dismorphia being one. The idea that as a young teen you have developed an obsession the real life crime to a point you want to make a list and undertake a murder is horrific. I know this has happened in the past (pre phones) but access to horrific material is easier online

As for accessing unpleasant material again it’s the same I remember in the late 80s and early 90s my peers getting hold of things they shouldn’t have that were not ok.

Pre-internet and pre-smartphones, it was completely incomparable. It is entirely different now.

Agree

I agree phones and internet are only one part of a very complex and (sadly) familiar picture. There are all those common threads of parental neglect, failure of other adults to be aware/safeguard/intervene, and of neurodivergence.

One small detail of the case bothered me: the interview states that the girl became obsessed with Brianna ‘partly because she was trans’. But I thought the conclusion was that the boy’s actions were partially motivated by this, but not the girl’s. I remember a discussion on here at the time about how it was yet another case of male violence.

I think they both became fascinated/obsessed with the trans aspect but I think thats different to saying they killed because of it

What stood out to me was the fact SS left the children by her own admission with the bare minimum and whilst that was a wake up call what damage had already been done ? I think this is more about neglect and trauma and exposure to drugs than smartphones and maybe it helps to direct anger at an object but ultimately although a piece of the puzzle it’s not the whole picture .

Someone else has already made the point as well that all the children were either ND or had traits/late diagnosis. This is exactly what I see at work, children who are unable to process and understand themselves try to invent personas and/or develop deep obsessions about something or someone. Yet rather than seeing a child who says they are transgender as exhibting symptoms of their ND, it seem as something standalone and valid on its own. What that did was enable Brianna to go hunting on the internet for like minded people, become insular perhaps, put at risk etc.
The other children similarly, becoming so much more obsessed and focused were able to find validation for that online

Brianna Ghey’s mother: the hidden dangers for all children online

https://www.thetimes.com/article/bb1e7676-55ee-4d6c-a340-c3b3237fd7da?shareToken=42987adf7acf4ce5fecd172551302d95

A new article. It is so sad to see the damage caused by toxic social media