Very 'normal' things that make you feel awkward

[DancingDucks]

First of all I'm sticking a 'lighthearted' in here. 😊

A friend and I had this conversation the other day and it made us both laugh, so maybe it'll cheer up a wet and windy day for some.

Some of mine:

When people wish me happy birthday on Facebook. It's very lovely of people but makes me feel so weird and embarrassed, so I now have my birthday hidden.

Waiting to get off a bus. Not sure what I think will happen, but I get all weird and stressed in case I forget to thank the driver. Which would never happen because it's so drummed into me.

Standing behind people at a cash machine. Even though I stand well back, I fear I might look a shifty and robby type, so try to arrange my face as benignly as possible, hence looking slightly vacant.

Walking past my own house. This is so weird and I've no idea why it makes me feel like I should give a jolly wave to my house.

Please tell me I'm not alone in my weirdness ...

Driving with someone in the back of my car or sitting in the back of a car, its the rear view mirror i think

Getting up to go to the toilet in the cinema, last time I went it was packed and I sat there and nearly pee'd myself and was the first one out when the credits came up, I ran out of there

Looking at people when I am walking up the aisle of a plane trying to get to my seat

Bumping into people I know and they stop for a chat and I am not prepared, I always come across weird

I think I know the rule for this. The more densely populated an area the less acknowledgement you give. So, London or other big city - non. Small town - nod/ raise eyebrows, village - smile, maybe great, hiking - hello, maybe another plesantry, long hike where you see hardly anyone, hello, pleasantries and maybe share a snack.

Ugh - or greeting someone with a kiss, not knowing if it's going to be a one cheek or two cheek kiss then getting it wrong! Cringe!

Same.. I have to do a little hop to make it look like I’m rushing so as not to inconvenience them 😂

This was made 100x worse when I was a student and someone stopped so I could cross a zebra crossing and the car behind bumped into them.. I just carried on walking but I should have stopped really to offer my details to be a witness (before the time of dash and etc) but I hadn’t long learned to drive so didn’t really think about it at the time. No one called after me so presumably there wasn’t a lot of damage.
The zebra crossing was in a daft place really, just after a junction which is where both cars had come from. It still haunts me almost 20yrs later 🙈

Walking by a line of cars that are all stopped in traffic. I feel so weirdly awkward, like they're all staring at me. Also if I get to a junction and there's a slow moving car I really hate it if they stop to let me cross the road in front of them. I just wish they'd keep going. I know this is weird.

Also the classic walking past police officers or bouncers. I know I've done nothing wrong and yet I become all shifty and weird and won't look them in the eye.

Offering my seat on the tube. I know I have to do it... but you never know when your going to offer to a fiercely independent pregnant lady, or in winter a not actually pregnant lady. Then you have to sit awkwardly until the next stop.

Same I opened this thread especially to say this!!

-Watching people sing live in pubs. I don't know where to look.

-Standing ovations. Standing up clapping feels too weird but then if you don't you're the weirdo still sat down.

-Being in the room while someone else is talking on the phone.

-Taking the dog to the vets. I always feel like I've done something wrong and over-explain every symptom.

Introducing myself at a meeting. I’m always worried I’m going to get my own name wrong.

Meeting people at the photocopier room at work and making small talk while we wait for paper to come out.

New fear unlocked 😂

I get mine delivered in bulk, and always contrive to 'be out' (lurk at the other side of the house) when I know it's imminent.

Pahaha, I understand eveyone single one op!

Also, I hate phoning the hairdressers to book an appointment. My roots are past my ears, I always say ill do it tomorrow. I can make and receive phonecalls all day long in work, but calling the hairdresser, yikes.

What my opening sentence? Do i say 'hi my name is QueensCafe and id like book an appointment with Jana' or do I ask to book an appointment and then wait til they ask my name. And having to think on my feet if that day and time is OK? Arghh the pressure!

Me neither. Hugs only make sense for me when they're with people I'm very close to, and even then I feel a bit awkward with people other than DH. My family was very unhuggy growing up so it's never become second nature.

I also get oddly anxious when I run into people I know unexpectedly in passing. I have social anxiety and I never know if they're going to expect me to stop and chat, and worry about offending them if I simply say hi in passing. I've been known to pretend I haven't seen people to avoid this, which I know is weird. 😄

My social anxiety also strikes when I have to eat in front of people. I rarely enjoy the food because I have this weird dysphagia thing that causes food to go down the wrong way sometimes, and when I eat in front of others I'm constantly worried about that happening.

You are all my people.

I hate eating in front of people (I hate the way I eat, I’m gross)
talking to other parents at nursery j have major imposter syndrome and always say weird things.
There are a million things more

I hate enforced jolliness . Like being in the middle of a sing song type of thing . Or prolonged clapping at a show . Stand up , not stand up ? Whoops and hollers. Going to a wedding and am cringing at the idea of this being an occasion where everyone is expected to cheer and be full on all day . Yes I am happy for you and pleased to be invited but God I am so awkward with this . My ideal wedding as a guest would be go to wedding , meal and go home . And I know that is ungrateful so I try to be upbeat and pleasant .

I have found my tribe 🙂.

So many of these apply to me. I am socially anxious and I really am clueless how to act around other people. I have to watch other people to learn what to do - how to greet people, how to say goodbye if I'm leaving a group of people etc. I won't go outside if my neighbours are about - they're very nice people but I get so anxious about the idea of being tongue-tied in a conversation with them. Im one of those people that other mumsnetters cant get their heads around - I ignore answering the phone unless Ive be "warned" in advance that someone is going to call, and I won't answer the door unless it's someone I'm expecting. The thought of an off the cuff conversation is anxiety making.

Like you @EnjoythemoneyJane I put off going to the hairdressers for ages - it was the thought of having to make polite small talk while sitting there that made me keep putting it off. And tipping at the end makes me feel so awkward- am I giving too little, too much, what words to say while I do it. I'd be fretting about this all the while I'm sitting there in the chair. I have to rehearse these sort of interactions.

I don't know whether my awkwardness and not knowing how to do the social niceties around others, even though I really, really want to know these things and would love to be relaxed and "normal", is because I have undiagnosed ASD (there are other things in my life that could point to this as well). Or whether it's because when I was a child my mum and dad were obsessed with me behaving properly and not showing them up, even though I would never have said boo to a goose. Either way, it's quite a painful way to live.

When colleagues bring their babies into work or ex-colleagues visit, I hate it, it’s like everyone is standing round critiquing your chit-chat and I have none at the best of times.

My hairdressers now take bookings via WhatsApp it's great I can think before I ask for an appointment.

Omg I'm actually in tears laughing at this, I think we should put this thread in Classics

Walking into a shop, not buying anything and walking out

I feel like iv stolen something 😂

I feel really awkward when someone asks me what I'm reading.. like I'm embarrassed about what I'm reading or something.

This! At DDs end of year show at her dance school they got all the parents up to sing and dance during the finale. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

Another vote for hugs, replying to birthday messages and even receiving them. I also find it difficult to know how much is an appropriate level of eye contact with unfamiliar people for example in a shop or if someone talks to me in an airport I start panicking and look away every so often so they don't think im staring at them 😩 its ridiculous they probably think im being weird. Even being served in a shop engaging in that small talk i find people look at me weird when I say hello I then end up getting nervous and make some silly joke about a self checkout or the weather and it goes downhill from there. Im a nightmare. I do believe I have asd though which contribute to my social awkwardness

Hugging anyone other than my kids always feels super awkward (totally understand Princess Catherine). I cringe inside every time, even though I’ve got a big smile plastered on my face.