Very 'normal' things that make you feel awkward

[DancingDucks]

First of all I'm sticking a 'lighthearted' in here. 😊

A friend and I had this conversation the other day and it made us both laugh, so maybe it'll cheer up a wet and windy day for some.

Some of mine:

When people wish me happy birthday on Facebook. It's very lovely of people but makes me feel so weird and embarrassed, so I now have my birthday hidden.

Waiting to get off a bus. Not sure what I think will happen, but I get all weird and stressed in case I forget to thank the driver. Which would never happen because it's so drummed into me.

Standing behind people at a cash machine. Even though I stand well back, I fear I might look a shifty and robby type, so try to arrange my face as benignly as possible, hence looking slightly vacant.

Walking past my own house. This is so weird and I've no idea why it makes me feel like I should give a jolly wave to my house.

Please tell me I'm not alone in my weirdness ...

Oh god, plenty of the ones already mentioned and including:

• leaving or arriving at a large gathering. I like to be first in and last out, it’s less awkward
• taxi drivers who not only talk a lot but ask you which way you want to go (I live in a city so there are several options). I don’t know, mate, I’d be driving if I wanted to do that sort of thinking.
• phoning takeaways. I love the delivery apps.
• asking a shop assistant for help. I worked in retail for years, from supermarkets to luxury clothes, and it never bothered me being asked anything by anyone, so I have no idea why but I would rather leave empty-handed than ask whether they stock x or where the y is.

Am dram - yes! Especially if your friend is in it (can hardly bear to watch that) and you have to see all the cast afterwards for a drink and have to tell them how wonderful they all were!

Oh yes, the window cleaner! It's mortifying. Especially when he know your curtains were open wide when he propped up his ladder and by the time he's at the top, they are firmly closed 😬
Can't do that in all the rooms, so I end up crawling out of view until he's completely finished 😂

Being expected to kiss someone (European style) I'm meeting for the first time. It actually makes me angry when people move in for this. I can barely watch First Dates!!

I love am dram 😂

I must be really weird. I don't participate, but I go and watch it quite a lot. Tbf, my local am dram theatre is genuinely very good

Doors. Especially a building I go to which has a set of doors every ten yards or so on a vast floor. Do you hold it open and make someone feel obliged to sprint so you aren't waiting? Do you let it go and worry that it'll seem rude, you're slamming it in their faces?

I actually said to my hair dresser I would like an optional curtain over the mirror and then when all finished, they open them and go "ta-dah!"

Going to a coffee shop or cafe with friends and saying ‘separately’ when they ask how we will pay. Makes me feel like I should be offering somehow!

Feeling like you've smashed your social awkwardness whilst passing someone by employing an appropriate sized smile, a nod, and a "morning". Only to realise it's the afternoon 😭😭

Purchasing toilet paper. It’s like admitting that I defecate.

When the waiter pours a little bit of wine & you have to taste it, I feel so put on the spot, not helped by the fact I have a slight tremor made worse by nerves, so have to sip with a shaky hand. I’d say ‘lovely, thanks!’ even if he poured me a bit of piss, so the whole exercise is pointless anyway!

Pushing an empty pram on the way to nursery pick up. I feel like I look BONKERS

I agree. I hate being called my name, especially by people I don’t know. There is some bullshit sales thing that you should use people’s names because they like to hear it. Well no one asked me.

😂😂 yes to this!

It's all of the getting a bus! What if I put my hand out and it doesn't stop? What if I can't see the number til it's too late and stop the wrong bus? What if two come at once, how do I stop the right one? What if I arrived at the stop first but an elderly or disabled person comes along, do I let them go first or is that patronising? Where do I boop my card? Do I say where I'm going when I boop my card? Do I sit next to someone to leave the priority seat empty or do I sit there ready to move if someone who needs it comes on? And then I have the same predicament as getting on the bus, am I patronising someone by offering them the seat? What if I go upstairs and there's no seats? What if I stand and people can't get past? And then all of the getting off drama already described by apps!

Asking for help in a shop, especially asking for shoes in my size.

Being shown to my room by hotel staff, or shown around by holiday cottage owners. Feeling like you have to make approving noises, and in the case of hotel porters, not knowing the correct tip etiquette. Painful.

Also, room service being delivered. Makes me feel uncharacteristically louche, especially if I’m sitting on the bed. Awful.

PPs that should say

We have motion sensor lights in the stairs and hallway. And the rest of the lights are voice controlled. I can turn them off when I’m in bed!

Oh and people singing, my LOVELY friend loves to sing along to the radio and I want to put my head in a meat grinder. She’s very good but I can’t hack it 😂

Any kind of crowd participation such as Mexican wave or clapping to the beat. DS's teacher always tries to get things like this going at sports day and I cringe my arse off.

If I am heading towards a specific shop but walk past the door I'd never just turn around and walk back to go in. Oh no... I'd walk onwards and into another shop I didn't want to go in and have a polite browse (whilst thinking the shop assistants are all watching me in case I steal something) and then after a few polite minutes of browsing I'd leave that shop and go back to the shop I originally wanted to go in. Because obviously everyone is watching my every move and would laugh at me when I did a 180 turn on the pavement.

If there are no shops to go into to turn round I'd walk till the next pedestrian crossing and cross the road and walk back in the right direction and cross again.

I am actually a confident and non anxious person in general so I've no idea why I'm like this.

Funnily enough you've actually hit the nail on the head of the station i was thinking about 😂

Clapping - I am always out of synch.

Not saying anything is definitely better than saying this!