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Ideally, what age should a child start preschool?

38 replies

Unpaidviewer · 21/02/2025 08:36

I am a SAHM to 1 toddler. We attend groups together and I do plenty of activities with him at home. I don't know any other SAHMs so all my friends DCs went into childcare at around 12 months when they returned to work.

When do we send him to some sort of preschool? Is there an ideal age? Does it make a difference?

OP posts:
bzarda · 21/02/2025 13:16

I am constantly worrying about this too!

I had planned to start at 3 but my little girl is 22 months at the moment and she is always trying to interact with other children at stay and plays/play cafes (which is a massive change from before and she would flinch near other children and run away!) so I am looking to start her for 2 mornings after she turns 2. If she doesn't like it I will pull her out and try when she's a bit older.

littleluncheon · 21/02/2025 13:18

September before starting school.

Punk4ssBookJockey · 21/02/2025 14:07

I work with Reception children and it's easy to spot the children who have been to nursery / preschool Vs those with certain types of SAHPs who did everything for them and didn't plan for school. However, there are some children in my class who didn't do any childcare before starting school but are doing fine with phonics, writing skills, social skills etc. That's because their SAHPs worked to prepare them for school by eg regularly leaving them with the other parent/ relative/ babysitter so they got used to the separation, reading to them, playing games which encouraged fine motor skills etc. Basically did the stuff pre-school nurseries do. Nursery is great and can definitely help, particularly for children with less involved parents, but it's not the only way to get them off to a good start in Reception.

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ThatMrsM · 21/02/2025 14:46

I'm a SAHM, my eldest started preschool at just turned 3 and was there for one year before school as he's a summer born (the preschool is attached to his primary school which has been great for his transition to reception). My youngest is 3 next month, luckily we've managed to get her a place to start in the summer term (sometimes quite difficult to get a mid-year place in school nurseries). Everyone gets 15 hrs, our preschool offers 2 days for 6 hrs and 1 day for 3 hrs.

InTheRainOnATrain · 21/02/2025 15:10

I definitely wouldn’t skip the preschool year before they start school. It’s fantastic prep for starting school, may even be on the same site if you go for the school nursery of their future primary school so the transition will be seamless. They will be over 3 by then so they benefit from the peer interaction, can build friendships by seeing the same group several times a week in a way they can’t at a once a week class. You can do PT and build the independence gradually rather than going straight from being at home to full time school. It teaches a lot of the soft skills like finding their peg and hanging up their coat, lining up for lunch etc. that can be hard to replicate at home. School nursery are usually lead by qualified teachers too so that should alleviate any concern about young, inexperienced staff. Plus in England you get your free 15 hours so go for 5 mornings at a term time only preschool and it costs you very little.

If you want to start them younger then also fine! I think a lot of 2+ year olds can do really well in nursery and particularly if there’s a new baby it might benefit the overall wellbeing/sanity of the household to have them go part time. Or if you just need some time for yourself because 2YOs are bloody hard work!

I personally wouldn’t send an under 2 unless it was needed for work. Mine went to nursery as babies so absolutely no judgement here but I’m under no illusion that it was purely for childcare and whilst I chose great nurseries where they were happy and well looked after, they were not in any way benefiting from it.

Chipsahoy · 21/02/2025 16:29

Painauraison · 21/02/2025 09:53

Unqualified young inexperienced staff. Very bad behaviour with nothing done about it. Children crying and attention seeking for their parents who leave them so many hours a week. Nothing about working in multiple nurseries ever made me think they were so fabulous!

People choose to work and use them, fine, I don't care but don't go making out like it's a must and you're wierd for not doing it! It was always tough to see parents on a week off and children still at nursery 8-6 everyday, i do worry about the future mental health of these children but I'm sure it'll be OK because their parents had luxury holidays and new cars and clothes!

But this isn’t about that, it’s preschool/ nursery. It’s age 3ish and above and kids aren’t left all hours. Mine did 2.5 hour sessions and spent most of it playing outside. I could see him charging around their wooden boat playing from our garden. And no worker was under 30.

Boope · 21/02/2025 16:49

There was no free nursery when mine were little so my decisions were not based on that.
Both did a few hours a week at nursery.
One coped well with the move to school and the other did not.
In my experience it depends on the child. Nothing to do with ability or physical development, more their emotional development.
DS1 was able to read and quite numerate before school but was emotionally immature and he struggled. Not with the work but he was overwhelmed.
DS2 was a mature little extrovert but couldn't read before school. he sailed it.

In hindsight I would have kept DS1 back and skipped nursery as well but that wasn't the advice given at the time.
Do what's best for the child which isn't necessarily nursery.

Redfred00 · 21/02/2025 17:39

I paid for 15 a week hours at 2 1/2. Then she got her free 15 hours when she turned 3. She was ready at 2 1/2.

Check your eligibility. It gives you info on if your working and if your not.

https://www.gov.uk/check-eligible-free-childcare-if-youre-working

OfDragonsDeep · 21/02/2025 17:49

I think preschool from age 3ish. School ones after better. My 1st DS went to a typical ‘nursery’ that took from 7.30am to 6pm and I didn’t like it much. My 2nd went to a preschool 8am - 3pm from age 3 and it was lovely. Followed the school holidays and had older/more experienced staff. Was a lovely place. I saw the manager a few weeks ago and she remembers him and was interested in how he is getting on now.

Saracen · 22/02/2025 02:07

You don't have to send him to preschool at all. Why not wait and see whether he seems to need something you aren't able to provide, and look into it if so?

Because preschool is so widely used, some kids who don't go may start to get lonely. Mine did. As your son gets older, you will probably find that there are fewer and fewer children his age at the activities he goes to and in the park during the daytime, because most of them are at nursery.

My child wanted to go to nursery at three in order to have better access to children to play with. This was the only reason I sent them. However, though they initially liked nursery, there were some things they disliked and eventually they decided they'd rather not go, so we stopped. You can just trust your child to know what they need.

Preschool is sometimes promoted as a necessary, gentler introduction to school. But the Reception year of school is designed as a gentle introduction to the school environment. So if a child really needs a year at nursery beforehand to get ready for that preparatory year at school, to me that suggests that school is quite a poor fit for that particular child's needs, and ideally he should start later rather than earlier.

If you don't need the free childcare which nursery and school provide to working parents, you could just send him whenever he seems ready.

Growlybear83 · 22/02/2025 02:54

I was a stay at home mum when my daughter was young and didn't send her to nursery until six months before she was due to start Reception, and then she just went for two afternoons each week to get her used to being away from me. I felt that the time I had with her when she was young was far too precious to send her to nursery when I didn't have to. She was never bored and I think she learned far more being with me every day than being in a pre school setting. Don't feel pressurised to send your child to preschool/nursery if you don't have to.

Mumofoneandone · 22/02/2025 05:16

TheAmusedQuail · 21/02/2025 08:55

And when the 30 hours kick in, use them. Big school is a huge shock to their system with the structure and routine if they're not used to being in for longer hours already.

Have to disagree. Neither of my children were anywhere near 30 hrs before starting full time school and they were both absolutely fine when they did start.

helenapeen · 22/02/2025 06:45

Both of mine went aged just under 2.5 years (for 12-21 hours) and that worked really well for them. Research says that in general children benefit from age 3, but it's very individual and mine were very verbal and ready to interact socially with other toddlers, in a way that is more complex compared to being in a playgroup. We paid privately and the preschool had much lower staff ratios compared to a maintained nursery.

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