He's drinking too much

[Toomuchlemonade]

Can anyone help me work this out please. I'm trying to work out if my 'D'P is safe to be driving our son to school.

Last night from 6pm he had
-2x bottles of strong cider 8.2% per bottle (4 units alcohol in each

• what looked like at least a triple measure of rum and coke (estimate around 4 units)

He then left at 8.30 for the pub and returned at midnight.
So that's around 12 units of alcohol before leaving the house.

He was at the pub until 12am. He will have stopped drinking once home. He's now driving our son to school in 5 minutes.

My question...if he was breathalysed, would he be over the limit.

He's is the pub around 3 X a week, so will drink this amount.

When home and not going to the pub he will drink 2 bottles of the strong cider (8 units) and a large short. Probably more but I don't see the rest. This is around 6x a week. If he has a "big" night out, he won't drink. The next day.

He doesn't drink in mornings or when working etc.

He's lazy with our child but then 10 minutes before his bedtime decided to put on dance music and dance our son around. However, the room he sits to drink in stinks of alcohol and he's slurring his words.

I said last night that it's not acceptable in front of our son. He told me to "chill out" so I said you're slurring your words, you need to look at your drinking. He said I'm a nasty, horrible bitch and to shut up. Kept cutting me off and told me he drinks because of me and doesn't want to talk to me because I'm horrible.

Anyway, I think he has a drink problem. He just blames me.

It depends on his size and metabolism but I’d guess he probably is still over the limit

He's quite big, 6ft 2 and probably just over 16 stone.

He'll be over the limit yes. I know someone who lost their licence after driving home from a party the night before. But rather than than focus on his drinking, how about you focus on how he treats you? He shouldn't be calling you names or blaming his drinking on you. Are you sure you want to be with someone who treats you this way?

He may be over the limit. But if you think he is impaired at all, over the limit or not, don't let him drive your child anywhere.
Your childs life matters more than anything

Yes he might be. Is this what you want for you and your son going forwards OP?

Not safe to drive.

and he sounds absolutely awful ... what an example for your son.

You can calculate for yourself if he is over the limit on this website

https://morning-after.org.uk/drink-drive-calculator/

You need to get a breath blow test from Halfords. But I would be cautious and not let him drive. How irresponsible.

(Of him)

What is your financial situation? Do you co-own / rent?

Do you have the ways and means to get this man out? Can you LTB?

He's a nasty, abusive drunk and it won't get any better.

And no I wouldn't want him driving my DC but mainly as he's a nasty cunt.

Thank you for this, I've just done it...seems a bit excessive!

I estimated he had 2 drinks when out, so was probably being conservative (he's out 3.5-4 hours). I just can't believe 1 bottle of cider is 8.2% they don't even have that option on the calculator.

And try and stop him driving anywhere in fact

other innocent people who he could kill matter as much as the OP’s child

OP he is disgusting unless he is willing to change I would get rid of him

There's no way on earth he'd do a breathalyser. He thinks I'm ridiculous, he would just end up shouting at me in front of our son.
Obviously there are other issues. He likes to randomly ignore me if I don't behave how he likes (e.g. asking if he can stop playing on his phone for 6 hours straight to help in the house, asking if he can hoover when I'm at work all day and he's home, showing unhappiness that he's up until 2am and then in bed half the day).

At the moment he's angry because I made a comment about his Xbox playing in front of his family. So he's not really spoken to me in a month. It varies, one day he'll speak to me normal (his normal isn't really normal), the next he will blank me. He's still wanted sex with me (although not as much) but won't share a bed with me. He's just in the house living in the room he plays Xbox in, sleeping on a mattress on the floor with the curtains constantly closed. It's embarrassing. We have a lovely home.

He ignored me valentines day morning and then later left a card and chocolates for me in the kitchen. I messaged him (he was in bed until 1pm) to apologise for not getting him a card and said I didn't expect him to because he hasn't been speaking to me and I got a crazy, long text back...

He's a horrible man.

He's also drinking a huge amount.

You're with an abusive drunk OP and he's driving your child around over the limit. He's abandoned you both for booze.

I would get legal advice regarding separation as it's not going to get better.

Ah OP looking in from the outside I think it's pretty clear that this relationship is dead. He's a heavy drinker and an arsehole! You need to have a good think about things I reckon.

How can you think any of this is acceptable?

You have a child? You need to model that this sort of abuse isn't acceptable?

Not only is he an abusive, alcoholic, drink driver but he doesn't work, doesn't do anything around the house, ignores you for months on end but still expects sex?

Your self esteem and standards are in the gutter @Toomuchlemonade you won't be able to change him so the big question is what will you change?

Please tell me you have your own money? And the house is in your name? You need to do better for your child! You can't let them grow up thinking this sort of behaviour is normal.

He has a serious drink problem and you are in an abusive relationship.

You can't make him change his drinking: that's got to come from him. And it seems highly unlikely he will do that as he doesn't think the drink is an issue.

But you can, and should, get out of your relationship with him, for the sake of your child and yourself.

I can't believe you are letting your husband drive your son when he has drunk that much the night before!!! 🤯 🤯