How to be okay with living an introvert life as an extrovert

[LadyInRainbow]

I’m really struggling with loneliness.

My kids are teens now so my need for a high amount of social contact isn’t met through them anymore, I work from home, and I’ve realised most of my friends (probably more like acquaintances) were very circumstantial and drift away back to their real friends now we no longer have a reason to see each other through kids, activities, etc.

I don’t know how to make friends as I probably come on a bit strong due to neediness or I make friends related to an activity but then when that stops they go back to older friendships and I’ve been burnt so many times I don’t even want to try anymore.

So how do you cope being an extrovert who sees very few people?

I am in the same position as you. Its not because I can't keep friends. It's because I have moved a lot, friends have moved out of London, some friends have aging parents or are ill themselves.
I WFH too and sadly there is no option to go into the office.
What I do:
Weekly choir
Monthly book club (s)
Monthly film club
Volunteer
Go into libraries and cafes often.

I don’t think you can change your personality to make it work for you, finding something to meet your needs would be a more realistic long term solution.

My SIL is a complete extrovert and the volunteers in a charity shop and loves it. All the old dears adore her and come on for a chat specifically when she is on shift as they know she will take time to talk to them.

This is so me.

I have a vvv low boredom threshold.

I'm not employed but have a high need for human contact/socialising.

I really miss work/an office environment even though the office politics was often awful.

I hate sitting home alone.

Teens are in rooms on screens etc.

I spend way too much time on SM to meet these needs but it's probably not good for my MH.

I go to lots of local events/clubs and often travel far to have irl meet ups with people with the same special interests.

But all my 'friendships' are superficial.

Big things happen & I've no one to tell.

People just dont see me as a close friend even when I see them as such.

No one visits the house & I do t get invites to visit others.

I'd love a night out dancing but I have no one to go with.

It's a painful existence.

I had a horrible time like this in the past. I had to make myself my best friend and learn to feel comfortable in my own company, filling it with stuff I like to do alone, pursuing interests, etc. I really think it was good for me in the end.

We should aim to feel comfortable alone, not scared or like something is missing.

Now people are the icing on the cake, if I want them to be!

Look for a new job where you're expected to be in the office at least a couple of days a week.

I started a new job a year ago after wfh for four years and it's been transformational,

I'm tired when I get home but home feels like a sanctuary now rather than a prison and there's a lot of social contact through work.

Please do consider this.