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Original poster

Can you force someone to get medical treatment

14 replies

SafeMouse · 17/02/2025 20:13

Can you force someone to get medical treatment if they have capacity. My mother has a serious life threatening condition which has re-occured. She's refusing to go get treatment as she believes (rightly) she will need an operation for it. She has capacity but she is very depressed and on antidepressant medication and I believe its this anxiety/depression that's stopping her getting treatment.

I think I know the answer, but there's no way I can 'force' her to get to the GP is there? This is something that could develop, if it hadnt already, to be life threatening.

OP posts:
2025willbemytime · 17/02/2025 20:16

Do you know for sure what the outcome will be if she doesn't seek help?

Liguria · 17/02/2025 20:16

Your Mum can refuse medical treatment if she has capacity, including life saving surgery. It must be very difficult for you.

LovelyLeitrim · 17/02/2025 20:18

I’m sorry but I you can’t force her.

I would encourage you to support her though, if she’s adamant.

It is a tough road.

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Original poster
SafeMouse · 17/02/2025 20:19

2025willbemytime · 17/02/2025 20:16

Do you know for sure what the outcome will be if she doesn't seek help?

Can never say for sure, but this is a condition she's had many years and has had surgery before for the same symptoms.

OP posts:
lifeisacat · 17/02/2025 20:21

Making poor choices is still allowed as long as she has capacity. You can't make her seek medical treatment, no matter what you beleive to be right.
I'm so sorry. Hopefully you can help her understand and given time she may change her mind

Coffeeishot · 17/02/2025 20:21

No you can't force her I mean if she gets so ill that she needs a call out or ambulance then its sort of out of your hands, we did that for an ill but stubborn parent and they had to get treated.

I'm so sorry it's very frustrating.

PaintDecisions · 17/02/2025 20:21

Essentially, no.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/consent-to-treatment/

My DF wouldn't have his hip replaced until he was barely able to move. If he'd had it done two years before - when he was offered a date for the surgery - he'd have been far fitter for the recovery and have experienced years less of extreme pain (for which he also refused pain relief most days). But he's a stubborn old goat and would not be told. He's just turned 71. God help us when he's actually old.

CassandraWebb · 17/02/2025 20:22

I don't believe so. But I understand your concern that her mental health may be affecting her judgment.

What is her concern about the operation? Is it one with a long and difficult recovery for instance?

I reached the point with some medication I was on that I was going to refuse to take it (thankfully my specialist supported my decision in the end). I had no quality of life left, I was constantly in pain and unwell. It was like the medication was poisoning me. Now I am off it my (serious /potentially life threatening) symptoms are back but I am actually living again.

Iheartmysmart · 17/02/2025 20:23

Have you spoken to her properly about it? My mum is refusing an operation and when I sat down and had a chat with her about it, she told me one of her neighbours had the same op and ended up disabled. She also has no confidence in the hospital due to bad experiences in the past. I respect her choice and her reasoning.

CassandraWebb · 17/02/2025 20:24

SafeMouse · 17/02/2025 20:19

Can never say for sure, but this is a condition she's had many years and has had surgery before for the same symptoms.

Show quote history

So even if she has surgery now it will likely come back again?

I can sort of see her point. How old is she?

Original poster
SafeMouse · 17/02/2025 20:26

She spent a long time in and out of hospital and believed to be in remission. I think it's that she just doesn't want to go back into hospital, and now she's widowed everything is much 'more' and she's burying her head in the sand. Until she had a few drinks and it all came out. Its basically a 5% chance it's something and nothing, and 95% chance the condion has reoccurred. Due to her not wanting to go into hospital she won't even go to the GP to get checked over

OP posts:
Coffeeishot · 17/02/2025 20:32

If she's had previous treatment then she's might have medical ptsd I know it sounds dramatic but she's struggling.and can't see the woods for the trees .

EmeraldRoulette · 17/02/2025 20:36

Well she has capacity even if depressed

I wouldn't have been allowed capacity for 20+ years if depression was a factor. I still had a rational brain.

Are there any benefits to her from getting checked out and maybe operated on? I mean really, to her, in terms of what she wants. Are you her carer? If it majes your life harder for her to go untreated, then it's a case of making different arrangements.

Middlemarch123 · 17/02/2025 21:49

It’s horrible for you and I empathise. We called ambulances out three times for my very frail mother, and all the paramedics advised her to go to hospital. She refused, and they couldn’t push her to change her mind, because she had capacity. She then deteriorated rapidly, lost capacity and the final crew took her in, by which time it was too late to save her. A really sad and painful time for her family, and distressing for her.

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