Anyone else feel lonely and just want to be loved.

[StSain]

I am not sure what has triggered this but I have an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I have always been fine in my own company and pottering around doing my own thing but lately I feel so so lonely and unloved.

I just want to be loved and cherished and want someone who actually really loves me and cares about me. I'm in my 40s and dread to think about being old and noone giving a shit. It make me feel so sad.

The unbelievable thing is, I am actually married and my DH and I live completely separate lives. He's like a roommate that I don't even know. We barely talk, I can't remember the last time I actually laughed with him. I have started a few hobbies that I do on my own which get me out of the house but they aren't socal things.

I cannot believe my life has come to this. 😔

OP what is keeping you from divorcing? It sounds so painful to be in that nothing relationship.

Sounds like a very very unhappy marriage

children?
do you work?

OP, I'm single and I'm happier than I've ever been. Obviously the single life isn't for everyone, but honestly not having to tie myself in knots to please a man has been the making of me! I've got good friends and for affection I have a dog. She loves me utterly, like no man ever has. Plus she's a good excuse to get out of the house even when I don't want to.

There is life on the other side of marriage. Don't be afraid.

I do want to divorce but financially I don't know how I will cope. I have been a sham for so many years and only just got a job a few years ago. It's just a basic admin job. Im trying to save up a little on the side but I've only managed a few hundred pounds in there.

How old are your children? Because this sounds a pretty bleak home life for them too

It isn't unbelievable OP, it is sadly probably fairly common. You do have a choice to leave tho, nothing is holding you there.

If you're living separate lives within the same house, you're doing the right thing, starting hobbies to get you out of the house, but you say they aren't social things?
It'll take some searching & work, but you might want to look into hobbies that do involve you socialising; you'll feel so much better for doing that.

When you meet and get to know others, you never know where that will lead you, at least you'll feel better in yourself, and at best you might meet someone who will make you feel happy. I get what you're saying about staying for financial security, but how secure can it be if your DH is living separately from you and might decide to move on away? In MN terminology, you must Get Your Ducks in a Row, OP Many people who split feel relieved and free, and being responsible for yourself isn't easy but you've likely got more of a sense of that anyway, just from managing your home, so you're ahead in that too.
If you choose to stay, keep yourself as busy as you can, and keep saving! x

It sounds like a bleak life.
The best thing, if divorce isn't an option right now, is to push yourself to make friends outside the house.
Hobbies, like you say, are good, but better would be mixing with like minded people, art classes, reading groups, choirs, anything where you would enjoy the company, and hopefully friendships would develop.

I believe a lot of people are in loveless marriages and feeling trapped.
You are still young enough to change the way you live.
Good luck.