Dissociative Identity Disorder (tw CSA, DV)

[CompleteUninspiredNameChange]

Name changed but long term member.

Has anyone else on here been diagnosed with DID (Was multiple personality disorder)?
I was diagnosed recently.
I know this is due to CSA then death of a parent and neglect. Was assualted by my boss when at uni. Then i married young into an abusive marriage which I left after nearly 30 years a couple of years ago. (Each of these incidents means that I know of at least 5 alters but could be more as still processing a lot of the marital abuse.)
In therapy realised that I had been suffering from dissociation since at least a teenager and also Non epileptic seizures. After realising I have near full amnesia of my past I have ended up with a dx of DID.
Whilst in some ways I now totally understand a lot more about myself. Why I have totally blank periods. Why I can come to in places that I don't remember traveling to etc. Why I managed to resign from my job and have no recollection the next day. Etc etc.
I don't know whether I should tell people or not. I can hear all my alters arguing in my head as they are scared/cross that i want to banish them now I know they are there. I feel a bit crazy. If I tell other people will they think I am crazy?
If you have DID have you told anyone? What did you tell them?

I don’t have DID but I’m incredibly sorry that your parents were so appalling and didn’t give you what you needed and deserved, as a child. I hope that this new self-knowledge really helps. Wishing you well 💐

I don’t have it, and don’t know anyone who does.

My suggestion would be to wait a long while before telling anyone. There is so much for you to process and as soon as other people know they will want to know more. Look to support groups, rather than friends and family, so you can take your time to work things out.

I am sorry that you’ve experienced so much trauma and now have this complicated condition to deal with. I wish you masses of luck and support.

Thank you both
I wasn't expecting kind replies.

Shamelessly bumping for evening traffic!

And another bump from me. Thing is, it’s pretty rare still as far as I know- though it seems as though it’s being recognised more often.

Are you in any support groups? I’ve seen a woman on FB, someone in a band I think, who’s open about her DiD

I don't know if you have seen this, OP, but it looks at self-care.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/dissociation-and-dissociative-disorders/dissociative-disorders/
Hope you are OK

Thank you.
I have joined a couple of facebook groups, but at the moment I am to shy to post anything under my own name. Especially in case someone who is friends with my ex finds it and sends on to him.

That is really hard. Do you know that we can now make secondary accounts for privacy? If you go into your settings there’s an option to make another profile. That would let you have a middle name for example, and no photos that reveal who you are. I haven’t done it myself but it can be done.

Sorry that was unclear- I meant use a different name, maybe a middle name or a different last name.

Thank you, I shall have a look

Hi OP, I started a thread last night asking if anyone else had experienced disassociative amnesia but it didn’t gain any traction so thought I’d search the term and came across your thread. I haven’t been diagnosed with anything so I’m not sure what type of disassociation I’m experiencing, but I did one of those psychological questionnaires that you can find online and it came up that I should speak to someone about DID.

I started seeing a psychotherapist last year due to these horrible but very vague flashbacks I had been getting and she warned me that it might suddenly start flooding back. I stopped seeing her after a while and honestly had put everything back in the back of my mind where it clearly has been for many years, until last night memories suddenly started flooding through. They’re still not clear but I can see faces and actions now and honestly what I remembered made me want to vomit. I spoke to DSis about it (but kept it vague) and she said she’s not sure if what I’m remembering is correct or not as she needs to check her own memory bank. She’s quite a lot older than me and is clearly in some of these memories, so either she’s blocked them out too, she’s hiding something or I’ve made it all up. Any one of the scenarios terrifies me. I really don’t know what to do with it.

Did you end up telling anyone? I honestly feel like I’m going crazy. I don’t know who to talk to now.

My closest friend (CF) knows and then just my therapist and GP and now I am seeing a psychologist on the NHS in a week or two.
When I had my follow up with the person who diagnosed me she recommended I dont tell anyone as people won't understand.
My CF has been brilliant. Is keeping in contact when I don't and I think it is almost a relief to them to understand why I can send texts that swap between happy to very upset in the flash of an eye. They know now when it is a different part communicating so tend not to engage unless necessary.
My amnesia is very bad. I can't remember anything about me other than basic facts like you would find on the interest in a bit about someone. I can't tell you about actual experiences good or bad. I can have terrible flashbacks though. But then the most I can remember is like a photo image. My trauma therapist is superb. She talks to my child part about the abuse they suffered. So all the memory is there I just can't personally access it
I'm really sorry to hear you are suffering similar. My GP referred me initially to community MH but the person who triaged me understood so little about dissociative disorders she just discharged me so I ended up going private (to a team who do NHS diagnoses too).

And regarding the hazy memories
When I was a teenager I had very hazy almost dream like memories of CSA. Then the person who had done it came back into my life (friend of family. And asked of I wanted to do what we had used to do.
Suddenly all those dreams were very very real. So dissociative amnesia is very much a thing. The brain does try and protect us. If he hadn't said something at that point I still wonder if I would have ever remembered.